I’m new to this board, so I apologize ahead of time for the adjustment period.
I wanted to ask some financial advice. I’m recently engaged (getting married this upcoming June), and would love to take advantage of this buyers market. In approximately 6 months, I will have enough money saved up to cover our wedding, a 10% down payment on a house, and a 3-4 month “emergency” fund. I have been working in consulting for a couple of years, have around a 760 credit score, and no debt. My fiancée has just started her first teaching job, has around a 730 credit score, and about 40,000 in debt (college loans and a car note). My parents taught me the value of saving money. When talking about a house, I’ve always wanted to save 20% to put down, mainly because of the opportunity for better interest rates and less interest paid. But in this current market, with the availability of different types of loans for putting down less than 20%, and given current interest rates and housing prices (especially in Dallas), does it not make more financial sense to buy a house now? Especially considering that once we are married (currently living separately and paying around $1,300 total in rent), a mortgage would be comparable to rent.
Just a few questions: being a prospective first time homebuyer, does anyone have any good references for me to read up on? Does applying for a mortgage with my fiancée cosigning or applying independently factor in?
Thanks for any advice!
Congratulations, Deftones! Sorry that the following concerns issues other than your specific questions:
Before delving into the real estate factors, I'm curious if you considered scaling down the wedding plans in order to prioritize your home purchase? Inexpensive, terrific wedding options are available, if you look for them.
In addition, it sounds from your post as if you are doing absolutely everything, including paying for the entire wedding and purchasing the home. Would it help your spouse's self-esteem if you waited, allowing her to both work on her debt situation and contribute as a partner in your marriage? Otherwise, it almost sounds like she might feel beholden to you -
Some things for you to think about, if you haven't -
Incidentally, your emergency reserve should total 8 months expenses, IMHO. BTW, don't forget about all of the other home ownership expenses, including taxes, maintenance, additional furnishings, etc. The monthly mortgage payment v. your current monthly rent doesn't begin to cover it all.
Speaking of increased expenses - do you plan to have children? If so, when? (More factors to consider, sorry - )
Again, I apologize - obviously, the answers are none of my concern. It's simply a little food for thought - for you.
Best of luck. All of the above is JMHO.This message has been edited. Last edited by: SurfNow,
This is probably the wrong place to ask this kind of question; you'll have people trying to be your mom and asking things that are irrelevant to your question. The one thing I can suggest is to talk to a banker, preferably one you already have a relationship with or at least one familiar with the market in which you're looking. They'll lay out your options far better than we can without bringing in any personal biases, and they'll do it without obligation. Good luck.
Anyone in particular, Chuck? Sorry to disappoint but not interested nor could I be anyone's mother. Insult other posters that merely attempted to help someone much, Chuck?
Deftones requested "financial advice". Since when do major expenses, partnership issues and life decisions not affect individual finances?
As I mentioned in the above post, I have no interest in the actual answer to the questions. I was merely making suggestions for issues Deftones may want to consider before he visits that friendly, neighborhood banker or consults either a real estate or mortgage professional.
As a finance professional, I consider it extremely important to resolve these major, life considerations before even beginning the mortgage process. Otherwise, Deftones may make probably the biggest financial mistakes of his life.
If Deftones doesn't appreciate my suggestions, he's welcome to criticize them himself. Obviously, the main purpose of your post was to denigrate another poster. Next time, try simply providing your own opinion, with a dose of humility, to the OP and ignoring other posts.
Best of luck, Deftones. All of the above is JMHO.
And, one other thing, Chuck, because you jumped all over my post - you mentioned the banker will provide the information "without obligation". That's very nice but don't forget that the banker's goal is to either make his/her commission or meet a sales quota. The banker definitely won't address Deftones' life situation and upcoming, major expenses, given his/her zeal to close a sale. Again, JMHO.This message has been edited. Last edited by: SurfNow,
Not trying to be your mom. LOL. just some financial advise.
The way I see is, that if you wait until you get married and then both of you as married couple are seen by whomever company you are requesting a loan, they are going to see her 40,000 debt, which is quite sizeable, and a new job, and probably not enough history.
You seem to have a cleaner history, therefore if you are going to buy a home, do it now, on your income so that they don't confuse your lack of debt with hers. and good luck.
For the rest of your problems, they will come with experience.This message has been edited. Last edited by: rker321,
Tsr-res, do not take offense. ChuckSteak could have been referring to future posters.
ChuckSteak, there is more to buying a home than the money involved even though that is all the OP asked. It does not seem out of place to suggest other things that should be considered.
Deftones, do you know what rate you would qulify for? In my mind that would be the first thing to find out. The advertised rates are not available to everyone (actually to very few). Then you can do your own math.
Two things I noticed. A 3-4 months nest egg is just inadequate, particularly in this job market. I would say 1 year but I am conservative. In considering rent/mortgage you must only consider 1 apartment, not 2 as it seems you have done. You should consider not just your monthly payments but the gross payments youn will be making over the ownership period. Depending upon your finance conditions you could end ups paying $200,000 or more for a house of $100,000. It is unlikely you will ever recoup all that money.
These are all great points, thanks.
Tsr, I definitely see your point. We have not scaled back the wedding in anticipation of the home purchase as we are only paying for less than half thanks to our parents. Kids probably won't come for another 3 or 4 years, but I'm sure there are plenty of parents who have said that before. On your point about my fiancee's self esteem, I think that is a very valid consideration. In some respects, she does feel beholden; my thoughts are that this is something we need to work on together and waiting another year won't necessarily solve this situation.
After talking with a lender, he said I should have no problem qualifying for 4%. I do find it tough getting solid financial advice from someone with no stake in my decisions, which is why I came here! At the end of the day, I would really just hate to look back regretting not buying a house in a market like this if things pick up in the next 1-2 years.
And how will you feel if you look back and regret buying a home because you are now strapped for cash?
A person never gets everythng right in this life. There will always be regrets. Do all your figuring, talk everything out with your wife and make a mutual decision based on your best guess.
Appreciate your kind words, above, metwo. I would have normally ignored that.
Deftones, I'm sure you'll resolve everything with your future wife. One thing I will say - many parents would be thrilled to contribute that same amount towards your downpayment and celebrate a less expensive wedding with you. More food for thought -
WRT the quote you received, it sounds a little high, if your credit score of 760 is from the regular rating agencies. Different underwriters, however, may focus on different aspects of your loan file.
Did you ask them to quote you using multiple assumptions? Say 10% down v. 20% down, for example? Shop around at all? Do you have a relationship with a credit union?
WRT your sense of urgency, you'll want to review Dallas sales price forecasts and watch interest rates carefully. Obviously nobody can forecast the future with 100% certainty. For many reasons, I personally don't believe you need to rush. Again, nobody knows, however.
One good strategy might be to work on the financing as you continue to bulk up both your emergency fund and downpayment. That way, you'll be ready, if/when the market begins to turn and/or you find your home.
One thing about the type of property - it might be a good idea to avoid a condo (resale issues) and purchase a home that you can reasonably expect to comfortably and happily live in (minimum 3/2) for at least 5 years. That way, you won't be forced to sell, regardless of the market conditions, if/when you start your family. If your finances don't support that option, it's another valid reason to take your time and be conservative.
And, you won't be happy with any purchase if you neglect to consider location, location and location, too!
Best of luck, Deftones. All of the above is JMHO.This message has been edited. Last edited by: SurfNow,
3-4 months not enough, in my book, for emergency. Consider buying FHA which is 3.5% down asap, while rates are down, and ask the seller to pay your closing costs including prepaid items(tax and ins. escrow account), a savings fo aprox. 3000-6000 ish depending on sales price.
Don't shop until you find yourself a good buyers agent.This message has been edited. Last edited by: real estate lady,
My suggestion to sit down with a banker you already have a relationship with was to examine the options you've presented, not necessarily to get even a commitment at this time. I've always dealt with bankers who have looked out for my best interests rather than a "lender" trying to make a sale. A mortgage broker will always try to sell you something and recent history shows they did it too well, that's why I specified a banker who can advise you about cash reserves and if you're better off with one or both of you taking out the mortgage. As two educated people, I assumed you had already examined the personal issues. Good luck again!
Personally I have no problem with you buying the house now, and I mean you, alone. The minute that you involve your future wife and her credit history and debt, then I am sure that your situation will change.
You have not told us here whether your inquirers at this time include your future wife or not.
That 4% is including your wife? or you alone.
Look you are a big boy now, and capable of making your own decissions. I am sure that when you sit down with a lender, he would have explained to you different scenarios.
Whatever your future wife will do, I guess that is for both of you to deal with.
As I always have stated, after 21 you are old enough to make your own mistakes. LOLThis message has been edited. Last edited by: rker321,
Deftones, just so you're forewarned, both mortgage brokers/employees of mortgage lenders and personal bankers are incentivized to sell or promote specific lending products from month to month or sales period to sales period. That's one of the reasons why it's a good idea to shop around and consider multiple options.
I was also thinking about recommending FHA for you. Like most options, it has pluses and minuses. If you're interested, do consult with a specialist in that area; otherwise, the increased administrative requirements can make your transaction more difficult to complete.
An FHA deal is typically less attractive to sellers. So, if you find yourself in competition with investors, all-cash buyers or conventional financing deals, your offer may appear less attractive.
When you're going through multiple life changes simultaneously, sometimes the added stress from a real estate transaction can simply be too much. In addition, it's important to first consider those upcoming changes and their effect on your finances before initiating a real estate transaction in order to prevent major financial mistakes. Doubt there's any reason to rush into anything -
As usual, JMHO and good luck -This message has been edited. Last edited by: SurfNow,
I agree about the rushing into things. The quote I received was me alone, and I have not gotten serious about shopping around for quotes mainly because I didn't want to rush into things. I'm very curious about the FHA loans - somehow I don't see how putting 5% down on a house and paying PMI can ever be a good financial decision. Am I missing something? I'm an actuary by trade - so I get the sense that someone is capitalizing off of people who shouldn't be buying a house.
I would make paying of school loans your priority. That is debt that will never go away, even if she dies. I think in the long run, taking the money for the "house down payment" and paying off the school loan will be a better move financially. That way, you can start saving money for your "contingency fund" and then start saving for a house.
And, quite frankly, I don't see the housing market improving dramatically for a year or so, so you have time.
Paying PMI is usually a losing proposition. The only way it would work out is if what you'd be paying for it would be offset by investing that money at a good return; in today's market there is almost a certainty you can't get that. Remember though that while the mortgage may very well be for thirty years, you're only locked into paying the PMI while your equity remains below the threshold required by the lender. Appreciation in the appraised value of the house or paying down the principal will allow the PMI to be lifted early. Without getting too personal, paying down a mortgage might be a good use for wedding gifts.
Welcome, Delftones, to the Real Estate Boards - as you have already seen - we all have a number of opinions and voice them without hesitation so you have come to the right place to get some advice!
I so totally disagreed with a number of comments above that I actually quit reading them - first time ever.
Bottom line, you are young, engaged, your intended has more debt than you so how to handle the situation? Well, the first thing I would suggest is that IF one of you is the buyer, leaving the other one out (and I don't care about the % points) - that is no way to start a marriage.
Yes, scale back the wedding plans, start saving every dollar on both sides and using them to pay down debt, make it a fun time in your lives - candlelight dinners on the floor surrounded by make-shift furniture - do not even consider buying your first home until BOTH of you are equally committed....
And by equally committed, I mean just that - a marriage where one partner has financial superiority is one that is doomed to arguments and resentments. Instead, plan to rent for a year and get ALL finances in order - once you marry, it should be us, not you or me.
As far as the buyers market, think it will still be with us for a while as will the interest rates. Take care of the marriage first, the rest will follow.
What first came to my mind, too, was the getting married part. Meaning, like what Idaho Resident was saying, get married first, then buy your home together when you have enough saved up.
In the meantime, save all the money that you can and pay off the debts.
Personally, a wedding is only one day. It's the marriage that counts.
Thank you, IR. Felt as if I was one of the few voices recommending restraint plus a scaled down wedding, stressing the marital partnership and consideration of major life events.
Deftones, you're probably already working on these issues but here's a few suggestions regarding your fiancee's debt load:
1. Prioritize repayment of any private student loans and the car note, eliminating the loan with the highest interest rate first, considering any income tax benefits.
2. Continue building up your emergency fund to at least 8 months of expenses. Maintain it at that level. Budget additional funds for future, expected, major expenses.
3. Consolidate (if possible) all government student loans to the lowest available interest rate and pay as agreed, over their terms.
4. If you haven't already, establish retirement accounts for both partners. Take advantage of any and all employer matches and also consider Roth IRAs. Fully fund these accounts to the extent possible, without incurring any additional debts and maintaining your emergency fund.
5. Do not use 401K accounts to borrow for home loan downpayments. In general, do not consider retirement plans as piggy banks for future major purchases.
Stepping off soapbox now, Deftones! Hope some of that is helpful.
WRT your retirement planning, you and your fiancee have a golden opportunity to take advantage of 40+ years of compounding.
Incidentally, to avoid late payments, it's a good idea to both set-up online payments and consider paying a month in advance.
All of the above is JMHO. Best of luck to you and your future wife, Deftones.This message has been edited. Last edited by: SurfNow,
Well, I am going here to be the dissenting voice, it is not that I don't see the merit of all the things that many of you have mentioned. No question about it, if it was my son, I would probably say the same thing. pospone the wedding until you both have save lots more money. oe get married and live in an appt.
Now, my own opinion, if he thinks that buying now is a great opportunity, and that waiting a couple of years or more is going to make a difference because the housing market begins to climb, then in that case, you bet I would buy a house now, he is getting 4-5% interest rate alone, that will be a good mortgage payment and probably better than an appt.
now, If his future wife doesn't understand those financial reasons, then He has a problem, titles can be ammended in the future when his wife is in a more economic position to be in the loan and they can obviously refi in the future.
I cannot see as to why, they can't make a financial decision that will benefit both in the end without coming up with many of the reasons that some have stated.
Actually, rker, I don't see that as a dissent. It's about the partnership. If that's the decision they make together and then they implement it together, more power to them!
Incidentally, WRT their wedding, if they scaled it down, they probably wouldn't need to postpone it until next year. In fact, that might reduce their rent plus other housing costs by 50% or so.
WRT interest rates and sales prices, I previously suggested he review the financial data. Significant changes aren't forecasted for either, IIRC. Many believe the recent slight bump in prices (in many metropolitan areas) was seasonal and will reverse itself this fall and winter.
I quickly checked the Dallas forecast and saw no reason for them to rush. If a financial reason existed for them to buy now, I'd probably be the first person to suggest it.
P.S. We probably scared off Deftones! Well, make that me, anyway -This message has been edited. Last edited by: SurfNow,
Just wanted to add: I see no reason to postpone the wedding either.
Didn't scare me away yet!
My fiancee's student loans are through the state, so the interest rate is very low; on top of that, the debt will be forgiven if she stays teaching for a Title I school for 5 years, which is our current plan. I'm an actuary, so the retirement planning has been taken of. We're both 23 and not in a bad financial situation, and while I see the benefits of scaling back the wedding to pay down a mortgage, I see no compelling reason to do anything drastic.
Yes, I also previously mentioned that their parents might happily gift them the wedding **$ saved, to help fund their home purchase, thereby speeding up the process, not slowing it down.
When I previously discussed the various life changes, I merely raised the topics (as "food for thought") for them to jointly consider, while they continue the process.
ETA: Glad to hear she's under that plan, Deftones and that you've done your retirement planning. (Many who help others neglect to help themselves.) WRT everything else, definitely do whatever's right for the two of you.
Hope you enjoy many happy years together!This message has been edited. Last edited by: SurfNow,
It seems to me that you have all your ducks in a row, get married as planned, buy the house now, and live happily ever after.
Yes, it seems that the housing market is recuperating slowing but recuperating, yes, this is the best time to buy a house.
Glad to hear you think all of your ducks are in a row, delftones, but I don't think so... Why not? Scroll back up - how have things changed since you first posted? Bottom line - they haven't but you want to protect your partner from any negative posts - understood - so nothing is going to change.
Sorry about that but good luck making the choices and decisions you will be making in the near future. Post back and let us know how things are going sfter a year or two but, I seriously hope things will be good...
PS. As much I would like to think things will be rainbows, butterflies and such - no way, OP. You were smart enough to post here - now be smart enough to step back and re-evaluate the situation.
Ok Idaho, please explain to me why, if he buys a house now, at 4% by himslef to obtain the best interest rate, why is it that you think is a negative situation because he is not including his girlfriend.?
He has the opportunity of putting his girlfriend on the deed and loan mortage if they refinance in the future, The future may not provide the advantages that he has today.
He would probably pay more in an apt. that with a mortgage.
So why is it not responsible to buy a house today on this credit alone?
Have read your previous post and you claim that buying a house on his own is no way to start a marriage? I am afraid that I don't get that. this is a financial decission to obtain a property with the best advantage that they can. Why wouldn't that action make his bride less committed to their marriage?
Just because her name is not on the title for now, that is enough to suspect the marriage and make it less valuable to her?
Yes, they need to sit down and stick to a budget but in the meanwhile they can enjoy a house that will probably last them longer than the 5 years that she needs to have her debt forgiven. She will still probably be contributing to the mortagage, and the rest of the expenses, that is what all couples do. but I really don't understand your reasons. Supposed they don't even get married and live together, will that action make them less committed to each other?This message has been edited. Last edited by: rker321,
As usual, I agree with Idaho Resident. She is always the voice of reason and I don't think I ever disagreed with a thing she said.
This young man CANNOT AFFORD TO BUY A HOUSE!!! Not now. Welcome to Life Lesson #1: Don't Buy It If You Cannot AFFORD IT! He just graduated from college and just started working. He hasn't a clue what buying a house involves. It's not just paying the "Mortgage". No sir. There's property taxes, gas, electricity, hot water, and most of all "maintenance". When I bought my house we had to buy a new washer and dryer and refrigerator right away. The Seller wanted us to pay outrageous prices for those items already in the house. We preferred to buy brand new appliances instead. We redid the windows a few yrs ago and recently added more Insulation. We just bought a new Oven last Dec. We're only living here 7 years.
This young man and his fiance need to pay for their wedding first and pay off all their debt. They have no business buying a house with all that debt! When they marry, her debt becomes HIS DEBT!!! The man needs a year of "emergency funds", not 3-4 mos. My SIL, BIL and his brother are all out of work for over 2 yrs. now. Seriously, they worked all their lives, and were let go, laid off, 'retired'. Luckily they had professional jobs and have savings to sustain themselves during this long period of unemployment.
Congrats on your wedding. Pay off all your debts, save up money for an adequate and realistic emergency fund and then go house-hunting!!!
SPRING HAS F I N A L L Y SPRUNG!!!!!
Now I see what you mean.
Pointing out things to consider is one thing. But that should be the end of it.
Deftones, good luck. Just to satisfy a nosey old lady would you might coming back and telling us if you both decide to rent or buy?
Bingo, Deftones, if you are an actuary, you know that it is simply a game of odds with the surety reaping the rewards depending on the odds, of course!
As for some of the other responses, I simply feel that it is ESSENTIAL for young couples starting out to begin their marriage on an equal playing field - none of that - "it's my house" or, okay, "I'll just leave" stuff. Marriage is far more important than one partner taking advantage of what seems to be a financial advantage at the time that actually ends up being a detriment to the relationship.
It should be the two of you working together to achieve your goals together; one person buying the house with the other one being subservient doesn't work at well in the long run, in my experience.
Yes, prices and interest rates are attractive right now but I think they will be around for a while - not so a relationship where one partner holds all the cards and the other feels less than equal. Now THAT is a formula for disaster no matter how great of a deal you get re real estate...
Good luck - talk it all out - think it all out. What you decide to do now might just decide the parameters of your marriage.... give it some serious thought.
Hey, rker, you know I always enjoy your posts but this is one where you and I will just have to part ways. Yes, they will BOTH be contributing but only one will be benefiting - the one whose name is on the title. I repeat, no way to begin a marriage where it should be "us" instead of you and me... JMHO
PS. Delftones, your parents were right - don't buy unless you can put down 20%.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Idaho Resident,
True, but he can always do a quick claim deed and change that tittle after he buys the house.
The mortgage doesn't need to be changed.
I have done that before.
Now about the 20% Yes, I will agree with you the more that you can put down, the better for everyone. And if he does that. they will both be fenefitting>
In case of a divorce, they will have to split community property according to the date that they were both on the title.
WOW.!!!!!! have I ever gotten ahead of myself. LOL LOL lOL
Best best for the both to go FHA --ask the seller to pay closing costs and bank what leftover money they have for emergency.
They can probably qualify for a little more house as long as they are both employed and have decent credit. FHA is not more difficult for sellers these days as most fees previously required by sellers (non allowances) are no longer.
Stick to looking at traditional sales in decent shape, no short sales and REOs. Make sure you deal is contingent upon acceptable home inspection....and most important get a good buyers agent to put it all together.
Unfotunately for them the bride to be has serious debt issues at the moment. Don't know like you say if that would be a problem with FHA
She has a credit score of 730 which is low, but have no idea as to what FHA looks into that.This message has been edited. Last edited by: rker321,
Real Estate Lady ~ I don't know where you live, but where I live, there is NO SUCH THING as the Seller paying your closing costs. They would laugh in your face. I just want you to know that that is not common procedure throughout the country! (It sure would be nice)
SPRING HAS F I N A L L Y SPRUNG!!!!!
FHA is "FEDERAL" HOUSING ADMINISRTATION, and yes they allow the seller to contribute toward closing costs.
Credit score for FHA min. is 640 I believe, however ther are qualifying variables.This message has been edited. Last edited by: real estate lady,
Let's try this again.
I'm looking into buying a house in the next 6 months and have enough savings for 6-7% down and a 10 month emergency fund. My options are:
Take real estate lady's recommendation and buy FHA with PMI, or
Rent for a year and buy a year later with 20% + down.
After running the numbers, I find that paying property tax, PMI, and homeowners insurance for 12 months < paying rent for 12 months. To put that a different way, conservatively estimating the money we would be able to put toward our mortgage [in addition to monthly payments/repairs) or save over the next year, we would roughly have the same mortgage balance at the end of the year if we
* bought a house with 6-7% down, paid PMI, and made a balloon payment at the end of the year (about 15%), or
* paid rent for 12 months and bought a house with 22% down
Am I missing something? I would much rather be a year into our mortgage and a homeowner than deal with having to rent for 12 months.
I think you're on the right track, but it's all hypothetical now. Talk to the right people, get all the facts and figures with all your options and start looking!
Look it depends on all your options, YOu stated that you could buy a house with 10% down and a 4.% interest rate if you bought by yourself. Now, you have changed the figures. now is only 6-7% is much too low a down payment to buy a house, mim should be 10% and you still would have to pay PMI. The only advantage is that if you buy now, you probably will be able to buy lower than in a year or so.
Regarding on what they say, just remember that you could always do a quick claim deed on the property once you buy and put your future bride on the title,
So, you both need to make a decission. which is the most financially beneficial alternative for both. Personally I wouldn't buy a house with an interest rate higher than 4-5%.
You are not stating what % of interest are they giving you both.
Please, ballon payments have always been a no no as far as I am concerned.
Either you wait a year or so and put the maximum amount of money that you can, or simply wait until you both are in better financial situation than now to both get a mortgage.
Be careful with this, read the terms of your loan docs if you go this route. Your loan may become due if you change title.
Agree, any quit* claim's usually considered a technical/nonfinancial def* ault under most loan documents. (interferes with packaging and sale of loans in the secondary market.)
Can't speak to your projections b/c you didn't dis* close all of your assumptions and calculations.
Sufficient cont* ingency for unexpected, new homeowner expenses? Emergency reserve fully funded, besides contingency?
Incorrect assumption that mip will be automatically removed after principal paydown? F* HA loans usually require 5 years mip payments plus paydown to 78% of original balance.
Any consideration of local market projections and TX's f/c backlog? Nobody knows where sales prices and rates will land in 1 year's time but some believe all bets are off after the elec* tion.
All, JMHO. Best of luck -This message has been edited. Last edited by: SurfNow,
Of course, any change in the title has to be reviewed, but in their case by that time she may be able to get a better loan and they can re fi and change the title. Anything that you do regarding a title etc has to be looked into with an atty and advised properly. I was just putting an option if he was adamant in buying, that the situation of her not being in the titled wouldn't be a forever one.
But they have changed the numbers on me, now I am not sure any longer.
Putting down 6-7% is really not advisable to me. Plus he has never told us if he goes FHA with his bride what would the interest rate be.
Deftones - the much smarter people on this board have given you alot of information to consider - really good things to think about. I want to just add one thing that has nothing to do with the financial aspect of this. You are just getting married and starting your life together. The space that will be best for y'all as a couple will morph. Sometimes, it's easiest to start in an apartment (or rented house/condo) so that your specific needs can develop and you might find that what seemed like a good idea at the beginning, really isn't. From a pure relationship aspect, having time for you as a couple to determine what you really, really want BEFORE you jump into a purchase (during quite a busy time, I might add....) might be alot less stressful, and will give you (as a couple) the opportunity to really determine what you want. Things really change, and why lock yourself into something when you might not be sure of your specific needs.. Just another thought.
Deftones, as a retired budget analyst and a Mom, my advice is to talk with someone where you bank, their loan officer if possible.
Realistically, wife-to-be's student loan remains a significant issue: as a new teacher she has no seniority and would be top of any lay-off list. For those reasons it's probably best for you two to rent a house together; settle into marriage and pseudo homeowner responsibilities.
As a MOM, I say reassess choices - a small inexpensive wedding V an expenive one day bash, regardless who pays!This message has been edited. Last edited by: tessa89,
Deftones, are you reading these posts or only wanting to see what you want to hear? Your last post was almost entirely "I" although I was happy to see that you included a "we" twice and "our" once.
Think what we are all trying to tell you is that marriage is a partnership where both people have equal standing. If you want to beat the current odds re marriage, spend more time dreaming the dream with your soon-to-be wife and less time calculating how "you" can reap a financial wind-fall. Just a few words from someone who has managed to stay married for over 36 years and counting!
Noted now! If I were seeking marital advice, I wouldn't be doing it on a message board Thanks to all
Well Deftones, I am not a marriage counselor, and would never try to give you that kind of advice ,but have ben a Realtor for 30 years will suggest FHA, and good timing on buying.
Get a good buyers agent..there should be no charge to you..but ask for sure. Laws are different in different states.
Check with the mortgage officer at YOUR bank...re FHA, and they will tell you whether one or both of you should go on the purchase based on your pre-qualifying with them. Feel free to PM me anytime...with additional questions or post back here.
Idaho and some of us tend to get overly motherly sometimes with the younger generation. Sorry 'bout that.This message has been edited. Last edited by: real estate lady,
Glad to see you posting back, deftones, and,yes, a lot of the advice I have posted previously has been about relationships? Why? Because almost all of your posts have been about "I, I, me, me, myself and mine." Very few about "us and we."
So, is that a problem? You tell us. Is this a joint decision or a unilateral one - think that is obvious and one that will come back to bite you in the "you know where area." I appreciate REL giving me credit for having a softer side and maternal feelings but, trust me, I have none.
What I do have is a lifetime of experience where I know that either you go forward with your intended, making decisions together OR just do it yourself and reap the consequences. Myself, I would talk to my partner ~ up to you whether you do it or not.
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