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I have vented a lot over the lst months about my house sale and purchase. After a whole month in our new to us home, I find myself wondering if we did the right thing.

The neighborhood is beautiful, desireable and should hold or increase in value--a plus.

It is convenient but not super close to shopping,major highways, etc. Although my former supposedly rural home was just as close to a grocery store and not much farther away from major shopping.

It is a fairly well-built house but...it was built for another family. Settling in has been like putting on someone else's shoes: they may wear the same size but they stand on the outside of their shoes and you tend to stand on on the inside so the shoes are not quite comfortable.

I miss my old separate closet that I had customized to my needs. Who needs a 6 X 4 foot tub with a foot wide step. I would rather have had a linen closet. I'm tall, when I step on that step my eyes are nearly 7 feet from the bottom of the tub. Where is the diving board?

There are tons of customized cabinets in this house--with fixed shelves. So many of my things don't fit or have to lay on their sides. I will never fill up the cavern that is meant for the television unless I turn the television on its side. Plus there are two other entertainment centers in the house which fortunately are smaller. We don't watch that much television. We are about to undergo the expense of removng two of the three cabinets because they take up so much real estate.

This brings us to the floors: now the floors have to be changed because obviously the cabinets are sitting on concrete. Guess what the engineered wood flooring is discontinued. And of course, this wood is in the entry, in the dining room and in the study. That makes for a lot of flooring to be replaced or we put carpet down which I prefer not to have.

The kitchen appliances are 12 years old and much abused. I knew this going in and was planning to replace them. On closer inspection I found poorly done repairs of the Corian counter tops and since they would have to be recut for the new cook top, we are just going to change them out as well as the dated backsplash. Then there is the matter of the microwave. It is probably one of the smallest ever made and is enclosed in a wood surround so finding and fitting a new one in is a challenge.

And it goes on. In a major metropolitan area we only have the most primitive of cable companies
, internet providers, telephone services, etc. Did I say there is spotty cell service. Of course, we can go back to Directv which worked fine for us for over twelve years but...

The lesson in all this: the house will be beautiful when we throw enough money at it and we will learn to live with the less than stellar cable/internet/telephone service and we will grow to love the area. BUT and it is a big one, we passed on building a custom home because existing ones were so reasonably priced. By the time we finish spending money to upgrade this one, we probably could have purchased a custom home that exactly met our needs. (We have built twice in the past so we know what that is like.) AND it will still be someone else's shoes no matter how nicely I polish them.

Am I advocating always building a new home--NO. Just know what you are getting into and know that there will be compromises and changes in style that you will have to adapt to.

Am I crazy or just worn out from heat and unpacking? You vote.

Gwenda

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Gwenda,

Gwenda, NO, I don't think you are crazy! You have brought up a lot of very good points to consider when re-locating out of choice; not from necessity.

I don't remember all of the particulars why you decided to make the change - seems to me you were down-sizing a bit and also moving closer to family? But, I do remember, your former home which was just spectacular with every detail carefully considered...

It's really not all that surprising that you are feeling a bit let-down about now. Even though I am sure the new house is a perfectly good house; it just isn't a house that "fits" you.

So, no, you aren't crazy but you may think that I am when I suggest the following - especially after all of the turmoil of the last few months. I think you should catch your breath and then put this particular house right back on the market and find/build one that fits better.

Don't waste your time, money or energy trying to make a "sow's ear into a silk purse" as my mother used to say. Just cut your losses and move on. The only thing worse than making a mistake is living with it - life is far too short for that...

Thanks for posting this thread. I think a lot of people are going to identify with your situation. Good luck making some tough decisions in the near future.

ETA: Pretty sure that both you and your dh would rather pull your hair out than go back on the market again/start looking again BUT, from what you have said, it sounds like the house over-all is desirable so it should sell within a reasonable amount of time.

I know it would be a major investment of time and energy but not nearly as much to "re-do" the house with all of the expense, time and inconvenience that entails - especially when you know that, no matter how many changes you make, it still is not going to fit. So, sell now before you put another penny into it....

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Idaho Resident,

I think buyers usually have a sense of loss and grief when selling a home and moving to another. Given time, you'll likely re-discover why you chose this home and will come to be happy with it.

I don't know what to tell you, I really feel for you,
One question, didn't you noticed any of these things when you were looking at it?. Hoping that the price makes this house for you eventually what you want it to be.

Gwenda, I understand what you are saying. Think and think again before you make any move. We moved to FL. nine years agao and we have done a lot of pretty things to our home that were not needeed, A lovely canvas awning on front,triple light post a lovely side fence with a trellis, and landscaping and lights.Now the needed list, roof, A.C, windows,removal of huge dead free in front etc, etc. I have always loved this home but now we are going to have to think and think again for a smaller home or condo, where the yard work is taken care of and a pool for residents.We are also thinking of a mobile home. Florida mobile home ownership is a little on the wild side when it comes to storms.

Hi All,

You know I guess I am feeling some (a lot) remorse about our former home even though we were ready to move.

We just aren't going to go through all the move process again: too old, too tired and just not up to facing the showing/looking process. Besides what I would have to do to get this place into showing condition would be as exhausting as making it fit us better.

You know when you look at a house (and we looked at everything in our price range in the region--often twice or more), you see the positive points and the negatives and the "we can change thats". It is just that our "changes" have become more than we thought.

Surface "pretties" can blind you in some ways too. Who knew that the new engineered wood flooring would be a no name brand already discontinued. Does anyone really go into each of the many cabinets to measure and make sure that dishes will fit and that more than just a few are adjustable. The entertainment center in the living room was massive we knew, but its true overwhleming size was not totally obvious until living with it for a few weeks.

We're working on it all to a greater or lesser degree. The kitchen shall be taken care of by the end of the month with the exception of the floors (and maybe that crazy teeny microwave).

I will come up with a workable arrangement for the living area as I replace some of the furniture pieces sold with the last house, etc. We'll even figure out what to do with the floors.

The good in all this is it is making us (me anyway) really edit things down even more--a process that I see as a long term, on-going process after the initial blitz.

Now to convince DH. (I am sitting at a computer in his study that is stil filled with boxes (after a month!!!) with a long work surface covered with papers, computer equpment, cable stuff, etc. I keep moving things to be able to move the mouse or to find the rolodex. I know I have some important papers that I need to tend to but finding it in his chaos... I am so close to bringing some huge trash bags in and start going through this myself to bring order. I can hear his screams now ("I really needed that sign from my dorm room door from 1962! and my freshman schedule of classes..." Where is that rusted breadbox with....whatever.")

Our son is trying to get us set up with a new computer system so I can have my own at my desk far, far away from DH's chaos but he does need room to work on this and time from his overwhelming job that pays his bills. Bring on the trash bags...

Today I am trying to see things humorously after staying up until 1:30 AM trying to fit and organize things from eight cabinets into three. Can we say edit...

For all of us trying to downsize, re-fit, etc, We will get there and be the better for it. Just know that there will be pain at times. (flboy I would really think long and hard about the mobile home/Florida fit. I grew up in hurricane country and now live in tornado alley. Modular, mobile, etc. scare me. I have seen too many wiped out.)

Hey its Independence Day. Let's eat some hot dogs and shoot off some fireworks. Celebrate!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Gwenda,

HAHA you sound like my clients... I want this house on that lot!

Relax, everything will be okay. You thought long and hard about your moving process and choice of home.

Don't look back..and take care of the petty stuff one by one...you'll be surprised to find
things you may think were discontinued!!

Hey.. pass the mustard.. Happy 4th!!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: real estate lady,

An update for what it's worth and if anyone cares.

The kitchen counter bar was cut down today so that the granite fabricators can install a large counter height bar along with the other new counters. Things are looking better already.

Tomorrow (actually today since it is after midnight), on a Saturday no less, workers will come to remove tile in the kitchen and breakfast areas. They will return the following Saturday to install the engineered wood floors. (We located the man whose company installed the other floors. He managed to rustle up just barely enough from the distributor to cover the rooms if I omit a large understairs closet. The other man I had working on it gave up as apparently the samples were pulled once it was discontinued.) This job will be on week-ends since the work crew actually works for a local univsersity during the week. This isn't ideal but it will get the job done. I'll just live with chaos longer.

We may even have a handle on someone who can remove the monster entertainment center.

By the way, the hot dogs were good, the fireworks gorgeous across the lake, and we met a few neighbors. Now if I can just get the boxes out of DH's study...

Gwenda

See? Things can work out with a little research! Good job of locating the original floor guy!! Who knows, he may find some more wood for under the staircase in the future.

Forward!!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: real estate lady,

Oh Gwenda - I know what you mean, and I think all of us go through it when you leave a home that you had customized for you (and it was perfect), and you move to a new house that now needs that same love.... Hang in there. It sounds like you enjoyed the 4th, and now you can make this new house the "perfect" one....

Of course we care, Gwenda...that's what we are here for: to listen and offer help and encouragement as we can.

I certainly understand what you are going through and I hope as you are able to get a bit of rest, thinks will look brighter and you soon will be happier and enjoying your new home...Big Hugs!!!

I have been ignoring the boards of late as we take care of things with the house. Thus far: have found a quantity of the discontinued woood and replaced, kitchen, breakfast living and master plus a bit of hall. New granite counter tops are in as well as fabulous slate back splash and the new appliances have been installed.

We even have gotten our doggy door--to make a long story short we couldn't find a door to install a through the door model so we had to buy one to go through the wall. Three days of work and our dogs have the Mercedes of doggie doors with new landscaping around the entrance and their own personaized stairs leading done into the yard. What we will do for our pets!

Big plumbing bill to take care of deficiences there, New alarm system (the old one didn't work with all contacts corroded), major repairs done on the sprinkler system. And ripped out two of the three huge entertainment centers in the house (leaving holes in the walls and therefore sheetrock to repair and rooms to repaint) because I just couldn't stand them

Now the fireplace in the living room looks squatty and like a menacing hulk in the corner. We are waiting on a bid to change the short chunky brick with huge mantel to a sleek floor to top of 21 foot ceiling facing of slate ledger stone. We'll see if we can afford that which will impact my freshly done floors some. But so what we have to paint the walls anyway, right?

I knew we should have built a house. I think I will just leave town on go on vacation!

Gwenda

Gwenda, So happy to read your latest post!

As you know, I suggested simply moving on BUT you have perserved - good for you - and it sounds like everything is on schedule. Happy here for you! Keep us up-dated and hang in there.

PS. If you really want to "get-away" some of the larger cruise ships are sailing from Galveston with great deals this time of year.

See - you have already made this "your" home.... It sounds wonderful, and in a few months, you're going to look around and see why this was the house you picked. You saw the potential - and all these things were just necessary evils to getting there.... AND you got them all out of the way - smart move!! Maximum enjoyment of them..