Message Boards

Will you be honored?

I MAYyyyyy receive a late night call after DS gets back from HERrrrrrrrr Mother's house!!!! I just laugh about it these days and then treat myself. This year I'm going to church, then to a grocery bakery to buy myself a cake and some fresh flowers (not from the 1/2 price bin either!)

CJO -
I think DS needs a reality check.

The Steps will call and send a card and a gift. DH will be heading back to Florida on Sunday so it will be the dogs and me.

It has always been a difficult day for me - I did not have a good relationship with my own mother. Buying the card was always the most difficult part. They are all so freaking sappy and the sentiments expressed were so far beyond our relationshp.

I don't have children so I avoid all restaurants on Mother's Day.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Charming,

I'll get cards and flowers from kids and a hanging basket from DH, and that's my day. Not wanting to go out to eat with all the crowds that day. It was a bigger deal when my mom and mil were alive, but for the kids it's another soccer, lacrosse game or work for them.

Well, having never been a mother of any two-legged children, my experience has been limited to the many, many four-legged ones I am proud to call mine! The oldest is 27 and still living at home - out in his pasture along with his 26 years old sister and their nephew who is 22 this year. At least, they aren't living in "the basement."

The oldest one inside will be 19 this July. She and the other five usually make me breakfast - no, wait, make that brunch as I like to sleep late - with a little help from DH!

I agree that it is hard when your own mother is gone - lost mine 12 years ago and the celebration of the day has never been the same. But, I'm very fortunate to have the best MIL ever who turned 90 years old last January and we'll probably spend the day with her - still living in her own home - by BBQing some shrimp on the patio AND watching Nascar on TV - her choice!

For those of you who aren't getting the attention and respect you deserve after all that you have done? Go out and buy yourselves those flowers and splurge on something special for dinner. Here's a gift from me to you:

I hate to sound negitive, but I feel that MD is just a made up holiday that benifits the card companies and the floriests(sp?). As Mothers we should be honored and appreciated every day of our lives, as should fathers!
I find it very sad that sons and daughters who, once they grow up and live their own lives,(which, by the way, is our job as parents is) feel "oblicated"(sp?) on one "special" day to be "honor their Mothers",even if they have not talked or seen their Mother(father) in years.
Either they should be honored and respected every day of our lives or not at all, most especially on one day of the year that is commercially(sp?) driven.
Just me,
Mary

quote:

Originally posted by msmarymac:
I hate to sound negitive, but I feel that MD is just a made up holiday that benifits the card companies and the floriests(sp?). As Mothers we should be honored and appreciated every day of our lives, as should fathers!
I find it very sad that sons and daughters who, once they grow up and live their own lives,(which, by the way, is our job as parents is) feel "oblicated"(sp?) on one "special" day to be "honor their Mothers",even if they have not talked or seen their Mother(father) in years.
Either they should be honored and respected every day of our lives or not at all, most especially on one day of the year that is commercially(sp?) driven.
Just me,
Mary

The history of Mother's Day: The current holiday was created by Anna Jarvis in Grafton, West Virginia, in 1908 as a day to honor one's mother. Jarvis wanted to accomplish her mother's dream of making a celebration for all mothers, although the idea did not take off until she enlisted the services of wealthy Philadelphia merchant John Wanamaker. She kept promoting the holiday until Pres Woodrow Wilson made it an official national holiday in 1914.[

Thanks, Charming, for posting the history of how Mother's Day came to be a national holiday! I have to say that, having been raised on an isolated cattle ranch far from any amenities - like electricity, telephones or central heating that I truly do understand Anna Jarvis' motivation in creating a national day to celebrate those (mostly mothers) who literally worked from dawn to dusk - and frequently into the dark of night - just to keep things running. Good men did the same...

So I think it was a great idea in its inception - a day to give her a break from the back-breaking routine - but think it was originally intended to be just that. ONE day off where she got a break from the never-ending routine but it has now evolved into something else which leads us to msmarymacs comments.

I do love the original inception but agree that too many holidays have become commercialized - an opportunity for corporations to play on emotions and such with catchy jingles and DON'T FORGET THE GUILT FACTOR.

So, it's up to all of us to honor the SPIRIT of the day without falling for the idea mass marketing would have us to believe - spending money doesn't equal love. I'm well aware that many families now days live in geographically diverse areas which was not the case when this "holiday" was created to lessen the burden on the "mother" and care-taker of the home.

So, yes, send some flowers, cards and a few well-selected presents BUT know that a heart-felt thirty minute conversation either in-person or on the phone (with no interruptions, no call waiting, no voice messaging, no texts and no tweets) will mean more than all of the flowers FTD could ever send. Might be good for all of us - just to talk - remember when we just talked?

I had to check out the history too. Always considered it one of those "Hallmark Card holidays". My DM still really likes to get a pretty card, but I really don't care one way or another. A phone call or visit with the kids are more appreciated...that day or any other.

European countries also have celebrated a "mothers day" but not the same day.

Below is a link to a History Video too about US celebration of Mother's Day. as Charming mentioned above. Mother's Day

I only wish my mother was alive to spend Mother's Day with her. Appreciate her while you have her with you..a call is better than a card.
A visit is better than a call...

Living in Florida and being a Realtor, my work brings me to assisted living facilities to work with sellers. Many have their families up North, and receive few visitors...but many cards.
I try to talk business at hand and the mothers and dads want to talk about their family I'm here and they are up North ..they tell me.
Selling the house is always an emotional move for them.

So I try to spend a little extra time ...just listening.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: real estate lady,

Mother's Day didn't start out as a Hallmark/Florist holiday (like Administrative's Assistant Day did) but as a tribute to mothers. I remember when I was a child on mother's day everyone in church had a corsage or a boutonniere (and yes, from the Florist) which were either red (if your mother was living) or white (if she was not). I think that was a great tribute and I'm sorry to see it pass by the wayside!

My DD gets me something (which came already -- three yellow knock out roses) -- my DH does not (I am not HIS mother after all) and we eat at home which suits me fine.

Martha

Neither my husband nor I have ever been that big on mother's or father's day. We both came from families where they weren't big holidays either, so we don't make a fuss over them.

What I always get, and what I love the most is a chat with each of my children. Each of them always calls sometime during the day. I can depend on that. I have no interest in getting cards or gifts or going out to dinner. Just want those phone calls. (they live in different states, or I'm sure they would visit in person, which I would also love.) They do the same thing for my husband - give him father's day phone calls.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: cocok,

Cocok -- I think you get the very best Mother's Day gifts!!!

Wish my Mom was still alive so I could go see her. Tomorrow would be her birthday.

I hear you, Florida Farm Girl. I would give anything just for one more day with my Mom - she passed in October, 2000, but we had a wonderful time filling out the census that came that year in August and made it official that SHE WAS HERE after so many decades!

I miss her and hope everyone that still has a mother takes this opportunity to enjoy a gift they might not realize they have been given until it is too late. Happy Mothers Day all - whether you are parents of two-legged or four legged critters - give yourselves a well-deserved pat on the back. The rest is just the icing....

Me too. I wish my mom was still here. What I wouldn't give for an afternoon with her! A few minutes would even be great. I had the great blessing of having a wonderful mother, and her influence is still in my life. Will be forever.

We all learned a lot about being great Moms if we had them, and hopefully we are passing along those gifts/skills to our own daughters?

My DM is 95, still doing pretty well considering the dementia, but I wish I could spend a day with the Mom that I knew when she was maybe 80 or younger? In other words, I sure miss the Mom...that I had.

Conrad, that would be so hard -- to have the Mom you knew just disappear in front of you. Mama was 96 when she died but up until about 3 months beforehand, her mind was still pretty sharp. Just remember the good times.

For me, Mother's Day is every day. I know my son loves me. He tells me often. He will call me...if he's going to be working Sunday, he will call before. If he forgets Sunday, he will call after. I won't be disappointed or upset if he totally forgets. I'm not that childish.

My mother died recently. Wednesdays are the worst day of the week, because that is the day that we visited during lunch. I did not change her sheets, wash her dishes, dust anything. We sat in her living room and just visited. The loss is still very raw.

For those of us who had a wonderful relationship with our mamas and dads...so what if Mother's Day and the rest of our holidays have become a commercial glut of frivolous insanity! It is not the fault of the greeting card companies or the florists. It is the fault of the consumer. Each of us makes a choice of how we are going to honor our parents and how often we honor them. Perhaps having a special day is enough to jog a grown child into thinking, "I haven't called Mom in forever," then picking up that phone and calling (just about free of charge now-a-days so we can't blame the phone companies any more). Mothers can be honored without spending a dime.

And there's something wrong with this?

Sherry, You're right cards and gifts don't make up what MD is about.Mothers day will be esp hard on you this year. Treasure the wonderful memories that you shared with her.

My daughter spent some time in another country. When our Mother's Day came up...her "other" mother said, "Mother's Day is every day in our country." Well said! We can show appreciation to our moms at ANY time of the year.

This year, I sent my daughter her first Mother's Day card....Her little one isn't born yet...but, she's already made it in our hearts.

As a mom, I realize my children are busy with their adult lives. They KNOW I love them. I won't be selfish and put society's expectations on them. I'm a secure Mom in this way.

Happy Mothers Day: today, tomorrow, every day!

This is an emotional weekend for me, too. My mom has been gone for 16 years & it's still hard for me.
I always made a big meal for my mom & MIL when they were living, but my kids seem to have a hard time remembering. They both live a distance away. DS spends a lot of time with his MIL, & I'm lucky if I get an afternoon. DD remembers the day before & calls to apologize for not sending the card yet.
So much for teaching by example.

Mother's Day has never been a big deal for me either, since my own mom passed 37 years ago and I never had children.

But for the last 20 years my husband's daughter and his step-son send me cards or call. That's very considerate of them since they have their real mother still around too.

Usually we just get together at DH's brothers house with his MIL and their mom who is 87 now. We have a nice lunch and spend the afternoon.

Got all my Mother's Day phone calls! Spent some time on the phone with each of my children. It was wonderful.

lol My eldest is keeping our first Mother's Day tradition alive:

I was pregnant with her when we moved and had to direct the move and not participate. She had to do the same thing this year. lol Youngest daughter was happy for the move and her new room.

My daughters surprised me with a beautiful basket of flowers & double phone calls for the day. I sent them photos of their gift AND flowers I planted in memory of their childhood days.....How many of you have Four O'Clocks in your yards?

I was able to call Mom the day before and day OF Mother's Day....just in case she forgot. She still has her memory because she reflected upon her big birthday bash we gave her. Some days she remembers, some days she forgets. It's a hit a miss. But...we can still make each other laugh.

I celebrated this Mother's day with my Mother along with my family at Thailand. It was really awesome being out there at the Koh Tao Resort enjoying the Sairee Beach..

Interesting that this is your first post AND you included a link - big surprise! Read the rules, David!

I am really sorry if i have broken the forum rules, i just wanted to address the resort..

quote:

Originally posted by David_foge:
I am really sorry if i have broken the forum rules, i just wanted to address the resort..

Perhaps you should take it to Trip Advisor.