Message Boards

I was out in my backyard examining things and pulling weeds and I noticed that it was wet at the very end of my backyard, by my last shrub. I wasn't wet anywhere else and I noticed my backyard neighbor's yard was Dry so she didn't water her garden recently. Upon further examination I noticed there was some cr@p tossed by my shrub (like something fried/grilled). I picked it up and smelled it. It was some sort of grease probably from my backyard neighbor's grill. It looks like he tossed all the grease and crap right over the fence onto MY SIDE. No one else has access to my property, except this corner which borders his side. I AM LIVID!!! I know I have to talk to him when I see him outside, but I am nervous about doing it. He has lovely flowers. How would his wife like it if someone tossed GREASE on their flower beds???
How should I handle this? Previously, I found an empty soda can/water bottle tossed in my backyard and talked to their teenage daughter about it. This is WORSE!!! Real disrespectful neighbors, what should I say? (I never spoke to them, they are not particularly friendly)
I just went to show my DH what they did and now I have a million ants that came to the barbeque! I thought ants liked sweet things, not grease. I now have to find something organic (if possible) to k!ll these ants. Can't stand a million ants!!!
THANKS!!! :angry:

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Wavee,

I certainly am not the one to tell you how to handle it but I can tell you neighbors can be h e l l to live around. My introduction to this neihborhood was several neighbors telling me how unwelcome we were in the neighborhood because they did not like it when their kids treated my boy mean and I would tell them about it. My house has been egged several times, my doorbell get rung at 3 a.m. frequently, they took a toy gu n away from my boy, broke it and put it in our mailbox, to name a few.Maybe they are just testing you. I pay no attention to most of my neighbors. I know they will get their comeupons someday soon.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: owie,

Get the neighbor in a conversation and ask him how he thinks the grease came to be there....let him squirm trying to come up with an answer. He'll probably say he has no idea - and then you counter with the 'thought'
that somehow it came from his barbecue---see what he offers.

As for the ants; there's a very good method of getting rid of them. Tried and true, it works.

Boil 2 cups water into which you put 1 cup of granulated sugar and stir to completely dissolve. Add two tablespoon boric acid which you buy at the drug store. They may not have it on their shelf at that time but will order it for you. Comes in a container about 4 - 6 oz.
At the same time in the drug store purchase some cotton balls. Then acquire a small container--a small margarine container will do fine. Punch holes into the sides at the bottom (north/east/west/south) to allow entry of the ants. Dip into the sugar/boric acid solution as many cotton balls that will fit into the container--(about 6).
Cover. Now place the container where you see the ants or where you see them trailing.
Do as many containers as you see fit to do the job.
The ants will be drawn to the sugar and they take it back to the queen; the boric acid is poison and once queenie dies, the colony dies.
Replace the cotton balls about every 2 - 3 days.
Store unused liquid in the refrigerator for continued use.

sorry to hear you are experiencing this. i don't think there is much you can do. you certainly can't reason with an unreasonable person. and with his attitude, you'll be buying into his evil pleasure if you respond in anger.

this is a grown up neighbor? how childish. don't let him suck you into his mentality. he can't make you angry unless you let him. he is trying to piss you off. if you treat him with humor like its no big deal, he won't get the satisfaction he's looking for and may just give up.

maybe holler over the fence, 'hey joe, let me know when you're going to throw your garbage over again so i can have a trash can ready. if you're a really good aim, i'll recommend you to the Globe Trotters... or whatever is your basketball team of choice.

now, about the anger part. wowza. that's not an easy one. i know how you feel. but try to look at him as a poor soul with mental deficiencies to act this way. if you can feel sorry for him for being so stupid, maybe the anger will abate and you can take it more lightly.. or at least make it look that way to him. hopefully if he sees he can't push your buttons, he will give up.

good luck in finding a way to resolve this. and let us know how its going.

These sort of things tend to just continue...ya know?! Never mess with teenagers cuz no telling what they might do to you! Immature brains don't ya know! That just sounds mean & malicious. You should have taken a picture ~ just in case weird things keep happening. Once some people are angry they stay angry. I think I'd plant a tall wall of evergreens so I'd never have to see those people! Sorry for all the stress!

first...how high is that fence? I have a neighbor that is just beyond hope. we had a small fence, now it's a six foot fence. the building code here is if there is an existing fence, the six foot one can go up, even if the neighbor complains.
I also like loonies advice...
I

I think you shouldn't mess with the ants....they will go away, back to whatever they were eating before this mess came to your yard. Ants eat flea eggs, aerate your soil, do all sorts of good things...contrary to your neighbor's behavior. I would weigh your options, one that this *&^%**$ neighbor will get worse, or sic his family on a vendetta to bug you more......other options......he may get better if you don't call him on this...like you weren't paying attention!!!! Your call.....some behaviors are orchestrated to get attention. Good Luck!

Thanks ladies and I agree with what ya'll said. My feeling is that he thought he would not get caught because it's at the very end of my shrub border (I already have shrubs blocking his view and another neighbor's, his little sort of fence is on his side behind my shrubs. It's not even a real fence. More like something to separate us or for decoration/plants to climb. (he has CLEMATIS growing up it right on the other side of us). I think he figured he would not get caught cause I don't examine the entire backyard every day and this corner is pretty hidden from view (you have to go behind another shrub of mine to look here). I'm out much more in planting weather! I never really had any problems with this family before. I'll tell you what I did do. I filled two little plastic cups with something to attract the ants and put lots of 'ant holes' on the sides and closed the lid. There is a little ledge that separates my hedges from his side with space on the bottom of the 'fence' (where a hand easily fits through to toss the grease, empty bottles, etc.) I put some soaked dead leaves on the ledge and right next to it, I put one of the plastic cups with the holes in it. I put the other cup on the soil near my shrub, where the ants were. This way, he will definitely see my plastic cup and know I saw what he did. I predict he won't do it again, seeing I am a lot more observant that he originally thought.
I agree that you do have to be careful with neighbors. You never know when they will turn on you and I DEFINITELY do not want a life-long stress-filled problem dealing with nutty neighbors. So I will be polite as always, but let him know that I know what he did and I am on patrol for now on. Thanks everyone and Owie, OMG, what a terrible situation you had. I cannot imagine such a horrible situation when you move into a brand new neighborhood. People can be sooooo cruel and mean.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Wavee,

Wavee, I think you did a great thing! Neat idea.

I had a neighbor who let his dogs poop in my yard...big dogs. My DH asked him a few times to please pick up after the dogs & he did the next time, but it kept happening. Soooooo, I watched where he parked his truck when he came home for lunch & I picked up his dog's poop in the morning & put it in his driveway right where he stepped out of his truck. Now, THAT worked, he never let his dogs poop in my yard again. Sometimes ya just gotta be sneaky.

It's so hard dealing with neighbors like that but I think you handled it right.

As for mgt.....this is for you!!!!

Update:
The neighbor got mad and threw the container I had on the ledge under his fence onto my side. He also reached over and flung the other cup that was ON MY PROPERTY. I had big rocks on top of the cups so the skwirls wouldn't take it. He flung those rocks on my side too.
He cleaned up all the greasy leaves I left there. I left the cup there, closer to my side. I had alot more maple syrup in the cup. I think either he spilled it out or it leaked out when the cup landed on it's side.
He's a nasty b!tch, but this is MY property and he had no right to toss his garbage there.
I'm upset now (I get upset very easily) and definitely could not handle long term problems with crazy neighbors. I just wanted him to know that I knew what he did and I didn't like it. I am now on daily PATROL. :angry:
The good news: There aren't as many ants as there were yesterday.

ooh... not a good idea to mess with his side. he was challenged and he reacted in anger.

maybe the next time you see him outside you could say something along the lines of "lets talk and work this situation out to benefit both of us. i don't want to be angry and i'm sure you don't like feeling that way either. how about a truce? " maybe in conversation you can find out why he did what he did. let him know you have no earthly idea of what started things when he threw the stuff over the fence in the first place.

if he is a real jerk then there may be no cooperation on his part. you'll have to trust your best instincts on whether he can be reasoned with or not. some people are just not happy unless they are unhappy over something... and they are actively looking for trouble. poor souls.

Awww, thanks Loveangels, very sweet of you.

Wavee, so sorry your ploy didn't work. You'll just have to keep your patrols up & if you think of anything else to do, keep it on your property. If you find more of his garbage on your property, just toss it back. How very petty of him.

Mgt, LOL that sure fixed him!

Wavee, sounds like he's a real nut. I have never understood people like that. What can he possibly gain from causing all that trouble? He could have disposed of the mess and never had any issues with you. Some people are so lazy and sloppy. I guess you can't expect decent behavior from him.

Okay, let me get this straight. First he throws grease and cr ap in your yard, then he throws more stuff that's already on your property, into your yard and he's mad????

Boy, you are more patient that I ever would be. I'm mad just reading this. I get it that once you start fighting with the neighbors it could become worse, but there's no way he should get away with that. I'd wait until I saw him outside and approach him (calmly, which is difficult for me LOL) and just let him know that you don't appreciate what he's done and that you wouldn't do that to him. Hopefully, he will back down and not be a jerk about it.

Keep us posted on this.

"A good neighbor is one who waves hello over the fence."

GRRRRRRR

I'm not good at talking....I would just throw whatever comes from that yard back over the fence.

Let the ants be...they are very good at cleaning up things.

Oh Wavie!! So sorry you are having to deal with this! ....sigh..... I don't have a bit of advice for you, but just know I'm thinking about you and hope it doesn't get worse. How awful that you would have to feel so helpless with your own property!

I have learned the hard way and just let the things the neighbors do not bother me. I did not say anything when they egges our house and ring the doorbell in the middle of the night and broke the toy g u n. I just figure what goes around comes around. They have to answer for their actions. I have to live with myself so I just let it be.

Owie, I'm afraid I'm a bit vindictive...I would have put up a sign...thanks for the eggs shells, I needed them to keep the slugs away!
I'd also probably make some kind of booby trap that would go off when someone approached the front door...I'm thinking of that singing fish that was motion activated or a water sprinkler motion activated!
I would also booby trap the mailbox & let the carrier know to expect it...something to jump out on a big spring!

Someone stole 2 solar, color changing lights I had near the end of our driveway. I put up a big sign asking if anyone knew who did it & to please call the sheriff with the info. No one has bothered my stuff since. Even all the school buses slowed down to read my sign!

Wavie, in your case I might have put all that nasty stuff in a box & returned it to the neighbor...telling him I think he lost something and I was returning it.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: ga.karen,

I'll make a long story short, I know what your going through. I have it so bad with a neighbor that I had to call the police on him twice and ever since then he has made my life miserable to say the least, now every day I go out into my garden ( it's shared by other tenants) he has destroyed one of my plants so it has become a never ending battle with this very sick man. You have handled your sick neighbor pretty good I think, you never know what he may do next so tread very carefully. Maybe you could add some t***** bushes that could get him. Maybe you should call the police and see what they say. It turned out the police knew of my neighbor from previous complaints at his other house.
Good Luck
Christine
P.S. KARMA does work :>)

I know it happens all the time and some people think it is funny but I don't know how a person could kill a plant intentionally. I have a hard time getting rid of volunteer plants and plants that I have started but have too many of. One year I had hundreds of foxgloves volunteer in my garden. I almost cried when I had to pull some out and throw away. But then people intentionally hurt humans and animals too and I do not understand that. It is just not in my nature to intentionally hurt anything or anybody.

Yes, I think it takes a lot of will power to not say anything when a neighbor has been so nasty and mean (like in Owie's situation). I cleaned up all the dead leaves around my shrubs a couple of days after the 'incident' with my neighbor. Then, I spread compost under all my shrubs (which I do every year around this time). I was out there by my shrub the other day when the neighbor came into his back yard (to smoke). He must have seen me there, cause I didn't see him in his backyard afterwards. I think he wanted to avoid me.
I realized that all my shrubs (about 7-8' tall) lean over his side. Up to now he has never said a word, never cut them down or did anything. I am grateful that he doesn't mind my shrubs leaning over his side (provides nice privacy for both of us). My backyard neighor on the other side of him has cut down my shrubs that lean over her fence. It's okay, they are usually badly damaged after terrible snowy winters, so I don't mind her chopping them off on her side. This other guy leaves my shrubs alone and he hasn't done anything since.
I don't intend on saying anything (but I am on constant patrol).
Thanks everyone for your comments, it was appreciated!!! :hugs:

I just looked where you live Wavee. No wonder. I have a brother and his family live in Egg Harbhor. His wife hated NJ. People there are rude.
Do you think your neigbhor thought the containers were there to attract ants to his side. Maybe so. could his teenager have dumped the grease. Somtimes they are not too smart.

quote:

just looked where you live Wavee. No wonder. I have a brother and his family live in Egg Harbhor. His wife hated NJ. People there are rude.

I am never rude and I think you are very rude to make a comment like that. I think there are RUDE PEOPLE all over the world, not just NJ, okay? People on these message boards relay stories of rude neighbors all the time, & they are not from NJ. That said, you couldn't pay me enough to live in Kansas. It's what you are used to, I suppose.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Wavee,

I think it is rude to make such a broad comment that you know will offend many people on these boards Gardnerguy!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by gardenerguy:
I just looked where you live Wavee. No wonder. I have a brother and his family live in Egg Harbhor. His wife hated NJ. People there are rude....... [QUOTE]


ooops, I knew that comment wasn't going over well

I have no idea what to do about your neighbor except maybe ki ll him with kindness? Mean people hate that.

My sister lives in Maryland and has had the meaness neighbor on the face of the earth. This woman borders on insane.I could write a book.

When my sister first moved in alomst 30 years ago the first thing this woman did was march over to her door and tell her that if she ever catches any of my sister's kids or the dog on her lawn she was going to call the police.

She once called the police because my sister was having a bar-be-que in her back yard and that some of the smoke from grill was wafting over to her kitchen window and polluting her air.

So, you aren't alone with your nut job neighbor.

Hold on there Wavee. I did not mean to call you rude. What I should of said is there are a lot of rude poeple in NJ. I don't know you but I do know I have been told there a lot of rude people in NJ (ie your neighbor). And yes most people would not live in Kansas. Most of us are kind people here except in the urban areas.

I think it's safest to say there are a lot of rude people everywhere and just leave it at that. Civility seems to be a dying art, soon to be lost forever.

quote:

And yes most people would not live in Kansas. Most of us are kind people here except in the urban areas.

OK - MY defenses just sprouted! Trying not to take offense, having been born and raised in SE Kansas and split my time between there and Texas.

I was born raised in Ill., lived in Ca. & Fl. and now in Ga. I have traveled much of the US and into Mexico. I have visited Japan!
The most & worst rude people I have encountered were in Japan and my Japanese DIL agrees with me!
There are nice people every where & there are rude people every where! Some of the most helpful I've encountered were in Mexico!