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This may be a little OT but this might fall into entertainment Anyhow, I have a May wedding to attend and people do not dress "to the nines" at any of the weddings I've been to, but they do look nice. My question is I have a nice blouse that really only looks good with black or white slacks. Since it's May I'd like to wear the white, is this inappropriate to wear the white slacks to a wedding? Thanks

Mountain - I don't have an answer for you but I, too, am attending a May wedding - that of my oldest grandchild. After ordering a taupe pair of full pants online and having to return them as being too large, I have decided to wear my black slinky knit skirt or pants instead. I have learned that black is no longer inappropriate at weddings.

Formal etiquette rules rarely change. The one pertaining to white clothing for women guests at weddings probably stands. But, in real life, people twist etiquette rules to make sense in particular situations. My son is getting married next weekend. If I thought that having to buy "rule friendly" clothes a guest perhaps can't afford or doesn't need would keep her from coming, I'd much rather have her be there in the "rule breaking" outfit than not be there at all.

In my opinion only, not officially, as long as your clothes cannot be mistaken for the bride's, you'd be okay. Could you include some bright colored accessories such as jewelry, shoes, or a scarf that would take the focus off the all-white top and bottoms?

Hello mountainbeach,
If I were going to the said wedding I would wear the white blouse and white slacks, but would offset them with a colored (my choice would be lilac or pastel color)jacket, belt or accessories. If they didn't specify a certain dress I think you will be ok.
As you stated, most are not formal anymore. I have been to some where only the people in my age group or older were "dressed". I was even to one where the youngers dressed in shorts with holes (only a few) and goth, so I think you can almost wear anything anymore and I will be the only one who is scandelized.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: peppermintpattitotherescue,

I'm not an etiquette expert by any means but I'd think it would be perfectly fine to wear white slacks to a wedding. Most brides are not going to be in slacks (so no bride confusion there) and I thought it sounded like your blouse goes with white or black but that your blouse wasn't totally white. I agree that it would be good to have some color in the blouse or accessories. Try not to stress about your attire and enjoy yourself.

I think they have ditched that rule about not wearing white after Labor Day or before Memorial Day.

Whatever color your top is, I think it would be perfectly acceptable to wear white slacks. I always admire women who can wear white pants, unfortunately I'm not one of them. It's a rule in my life that I MUST spill or sit on something that would definitely be visible on my white pants! LOL

I should've clarified that the blouse is a mixture of pink, gray, white and black. So, I wouldn't be head to toe white and mistaken for the bride. Sounds like I can go with the white slacks (yay ) I asked a while back on a fashion board (pertaining to another wedding) about wearing slacks and everyone said NO!!! it's just not appropriate for a woman...wear a dress. I wore a dress and hubby a suit, and we were really out of place. Thanks all

A colored blouse with nice white slacks is perfectly fine attire for a May wedding so wear them and enjoy the day!

Edited to Add: To show how times have changed, a nearby high school district just announced a new dress code for next year. Girls are REQUIRED to wear slacks - no dresses allowed!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Idaho Resident,

I believe as along as you are not all white,you will look beautiful.I have been to many weddings and saw women in all white or even solid red.I dont like that bright of a color at weddings.Some of the younger generation doesnt dress appriately.Jeans,tank tops,ect.LOL

I agree w/ others...if opting for white pants and in light of your multi colored blouse, you'll be fine. If opting for black, black is acceptable attire for wedding guests these days. In fact, it's acceptable for wedding attendants such as bride's maids as seen on "Say Yes To The Dress".

TIPS re. the black pants...they won't reveal a spill of beverage as readily as white. They are also slimming, if that's an issue.

quote:

Originally posted by CA Lori:
It's a rule in my life that I MUST spill or sit on something that would definitely be visible on my white pants! LOL

I also have this problem. Maybe the spilling is cause were so laid back out here.

I love to dress up & so love going to weddings. DH does not. But, way too many times, I see the younger folk in their jeans & tank tops...even in the church. Guess I'm just old fashioned.

Your top sounds really pretty & i agree with the others, either white or black slacks will look really pretty.

I am not a traditionalist by any means nor am I religious, but I am astounded when I see women wearing slacks to either a wedding or a funeral. I know I'm probably stepping on toes, but good grief, can't we dress up for these occasions?

quote:

Originally posted by sms29s66:
I am not a traditionalist by any means nor am I religious, but I am astounded when I see women wearing slacks to either a wedding or a funeral. I know I'm probably stepping on toes, but good grief, can't we dress up for these occasions?

I do hear what you are saying and don't think you are being stuffy or anything of the like. However, fashions have changed and I, for one, have noticed that it is very difficult to find attractive dresses now days while dressy outfits with pants/slacks suitable for either weddings or funerals are much easier to find.

So, at least for me, I think that I am actually "dressing up" for the occasion more appropriately when wearing such an outfit than the type of dresses I have found for sale recently. It seems that most dresses are designed for the young (at least younger than I am! ), are the type that aren't suitable for such occasions or are too elaborate/formal for such occasions - more suited for formal nights on a cruise which I do enjoy, by the way!

In the interests of good manners and showing respect for the event (whatever it is), I have come to believe that it is better to fit in with the general atmosphere than to stand out by wearing clothes that clearly are outside what others are wearing.

BTW, did you see my post above about the new dress code adopted by our local high school district that PROHIBITS the wearing of dresses and mandates slacks for every student?

If you are a fan of etiquette expert Emily Post, here's what she says about appropriate wedding guest attire.

Have a wonderful time at the wedding.

aychi, I'm sure you are familiar with the "camel's nose in the tent" principle. By allowing "very dressy" pantsuits, you open the door to cut offs and muscle shirts.

Yee gads! The wedding season is approaching at our home this summer and I am not looking forward to deciding on what to wear and arriving at the event to be wwwaaaayyyyy overdressed.
IMO - if the bride is going to spend more than a week's pay on her gown and all the men in the wedding party are renting formal wear, ie. -tuxedos, then the guests need to show alot of respect and DRESS UP. NO jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts, polos, shorts, crop pants!
Ladies pants in my estimation should only be worn if it is a pantsuit or evening wear separates. No slacks, pants or other causual fabrics worn with a mere top!

Well, shucks, I'm just gonna throw my 2 cents in. When I was a young bride in the late 70s/early 80s...I had the mindset that you wear a dress to church. If it was freezing cold and miserable dressy pants were ok, but never, ever jeans!

I've changed since then. I rarely wear dresses. I own 3 and a few nice skirts. I wear dressy pants or trouser jeans to church these days. Since one of my 2 pair of dress pants are black- I have worn them to a few weddings and felt like I fit in nicely.

I really think tanks and jeans are too casual for either event but fashions and styles have sure changed the past few years.

When DS1 got married, both the mother of the bride and myself wore formal wear pantsuits. The kids were ok with it. She and I didn't coordinate on purpose,but they were made alike- 3 pieces- pants a shell top and a jacket. All 3 pieces were of the same fabric with bugle bead trim. Hers was a pale grey and mine was brown.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Becky56,

quote:

Originally posted by sms29s66:
aychi, I'm sure you are familiar with the "camel's nose in the tent" principle. By allowing "very dressy" pantsuits, you open the door to cut offs and muscle shirts.

sms, you are shooting the messenger. Don't you think your concern about dressy pants suits should be directed to Emily Post? She's the one who's dispensing that advice.

Now.... I am rethinking of what to wear to my cousins funeral service on Sunday.I was going to wear black or dark grey slacks with a very nice dress blouse.It's colors are black,grey(lt.&dark)with very little white.It is design print but not wildly.I had thought of wear dressy capri slacks.They are very loosely wearing and lined.
I have several black skirts in differnt styles too.A pretty brown dress and a navy dress with some flower design,very suttle not big or wild.

Help??I know people have different views on this.It is a 3 hour car ride.I've been to funerals wear most people wear dressy casuals as well as suits,dresses and capris dressed up very good.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: jackierenette,

For myself... I have never worn pants to church or a wedding, but I have worn them to funerals. I guess I am still old-fashion!

I have had knee replacement surgery and because of the scars down my kneecap, I rarely wear dresses and usually wear slacks. But they are nice slacks (and are lined as well) and the rest of the outfit is as nice as if the bottom part of the outfit were a skirt.

However, I notice at church that so many people come in their jeans -- and it's Sunday morning -- not a Saturday evening service!

Martha

I've worn black slacks to both funerals and a wedding. And I fit in just fine.

This weekend, I'm going to a wedding where the father of the bride and the groomsmen will be wearing linen slacks and a tommy bahama shirt. I'll be wearing a crinkled pleat skirt and top. And we'll all likely be barefoot since it'll be at the beach.

quote:

Originally posted by Florida Farm Girl:
I've worn black slacks to both funerals and a wedding. And I fit in just fine.

This weekend, I'm going to a wedding where the father of the bride and the groomsmen will be wearing linen slacks and a tommy bahama shirt. I'll be wearing a crinkled pleat skirt and top. And we'll all likely be barefoot since it'll be at the beach.

DS3 had an outdoor wedding. It was beautful. The men in the wedding party, including him, wore khaki pants and linen shirts with brown leather flip flops. I wore a crinkle skirt outfit. Sad irony is, I paid more for that outfit than for all of the mother of the bride/groom outfits of my other kids put together! I do love it though and everyone has worn their outfits many times since.

Goodness...
A wedding, or any event...
Unless you are actually IN the wedding party, I say wear what you feel that you look good in and feel good in? Do be aware that photos are often taken, so it is good to try to look nice and appropriate in whatever you're wearing.

Up dressing a bit is always the safest plan, as long as you feel you look good wearing it. If you are uncomfortable, shoes hurt, pulling at your hem or such...you are not going to enjoy or look forward to the event, and that is one of the main reasons to attend (share the joy).

All those "rules" have been tabled in my book, especially colors of clothes. I look at, enjoy and talk to people...not what they are wearing. And have taught my kids the same.

I'll be wearing an evening pants and formal top set (satin camisole and sheer, sparkling overblouse) at son's wedding this Saturday. How anyone can say that's less "dressy" than a skirt is puzzling. That it will lead to some guy thinking that a muscle shirt and cutoffs is OK is simply a bizarre stretch.

Fashion marches on. At some point in history, fashion mavens bemoaned the fact that women stopped wearing bustles and that Japanese women stopped binding their feet. The notion of dresses for the sake of dresses is (thankfully) headed the same way.

quote:

Originally posted by Lurah:
DRESS UP. NO jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts, polos, shorts, crop pants!
Ladies pants in my estimation should only be worn if it is a pantsuit or evening wear separates. No slacks, pants or other causual fabrics worn with a mere top!

I totally agree with Lurah. I would only wear pants to a wedding (& have) when it was either a pants suit (dressy) or very dressy separates (velvet and/or glitter) for winter weddings. I think a casual blouse and white pants is too casual for any wedding. I think a pretty pants suit would be okay, it's a little dressier than plain white pants and an unmatching top. You can wear white pants if the blouse was dressy. No one is gonna mistake you for the bride ever!!!
This is just my opinion. I realize that customs are different all over the country. I am used to very DRESSY WEDDINGS only!!!
I do wear pants to funerals. I don't get dressed up for funerals, but I look appropriate. I wear all black and that's it. (My DH wears a suit and tie)

We are going to a beach wedding for DH's cousin's son in 3 weeks. I just bought a very nice navy and white embroidered cropped pants outfit and white dress sandals.
I thought about wearing a tea length gauzey skirt and top, but I'm still old fashioned. I NEVER wear a dress or skirt without stockings.

When I thought about wearing stockings to the beach in full Florida sun in June, that quickly made up my mind about the white cropped pants and sandals. If I can find a white or navy/white summer hat that would be perfect.

I also am attending a informal wedding, (no church)but the men are wearing dress slacks and dress shirts. My DH has been complaining about wearing dress shoes and wants to wear his sneakers (tennis shoes) with the dress pants. I always make him wear what is correct but in this case we are just two old people attending a wedding and who is going to care, notice or anything else, other then me. I let him have his way on this one! I have two dresses that I just purchased and I hate to wear dresses but------!I will decide later which one.As to the white slacks question, go for it!