My son has relocated "back home" and is looking for a job. I covet your prayers please!
He's been doing some cooking for us. Many times asks if he can get something started before I get home or even cooking entire meals.
Downside is, for instance, this evening I made what I considered a BIG pot of Italian potato soup (think Olive Garden's Zuppa Tuscano). I planned on taking a bowl with me to work tomorrow for lunch. NO LEFTOVERS! Lean Cuisine for me tomorrow.
Sherry you need to stash a bowl in the frig before everyone finishes. If you raised your son the same way my parents did then that boy knows to clean his plate. In my family that meant eat all the food and don't let it go to waste. Also, if I didn't clean my plate I wouldn't get dessert. Now you are reaping the results of a well raised son, no leftovers.
It could be worse my DH was raised with no dessert after dinner. We never have dessert, wah, wah, wah! If he wanted something sweet his DM gave him a bell pepper or raisins to eat.
Ahhh the joys of the boomerang kids..
(our adult son lives with us..)
a frank sit down about EVERYTHING needs to be had. You all will have to go over the ground rules about what's fair game in the fridge, who has grazing rights, who gets dibs etc.
Here, as "alpha" adults DH and I basically call the shots on food and DS eats what we provide or is on his own and he doesn't EVER eat up the last of anything.
Because we have 5 people in a one bath house we have to negotiate EVERYTHING. not just food.
Good luck on the job hunt and please please please let him get a great job that can afford him his OWn living space!!
Life is GOOD!!
I was gonna say what still tryin said. Stash the bowl before dinner is served. You know your boy. He'd feel bad if he realized you wanted some for lunch the next day.
Hopefully a good job will come up soon and he'll be in his own place again.
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.
Let me get this straight. He's cooking dinner and you're whining about lack of leftovers??
All of you need to get used to making larger portions. Explain to him that you like bringing dinner for lunch the next day and that when he cooks he needs to make enough for lunch the next day. My son will cook but would rather starve than eat leftovers so he never even considers making enough for more than 1 meal. Sounds like you just need to clarify the expectation levels.
I agree with all of the above. Let him know what you expect, both when he cooks & when you cook. But also, set aside your lunch before dinner is served. Give the situation some time. If he's cooking sometimes, you raised him right & it will work out sooner than later.
LOL He's as kookie as I am. We all laughed about it. Son and husband both had seconds. Husband rarely gets seconds. I almost never get seconds. I have learned my lesson...I get my seconds FIRST. I told them from now on that I was dishing up my tomorrow's lunch before they ever got firsts. Or at least peel another potato and throw it in the pot.
He's a good cook...only he is having to learn to cook for a handful instead of the 20 or so he cooked for at the assisted living center.
He has applications everywhere in our little town. Next week he is going to branch out to neighboring towns. Today he and husband hooked the trailer up to the tractor and he picked up fallen limbs and branches to pile up for burning later. (We have 10 acres.) So doing some chores outside and some cooking...he is a really big help. He does his own laundry...makes no messes...and I'm enjoying his dachshund, Kirk. I don't do inside pets so Kirk resides on our screen porch. I take him out for his first walk of the day every morning and sneak treats to him.
And yes!!! A great GREAT job...soon.This message has been edited. Last edited by: KeepYouInStitches,
KYIS, Congrats on having a great son - boomerang or not!
Now, let him FIND HIS OWN WAY WITHOUT YOU, MOM! Said sincerely with love ~ time to let him fly or not on his own. Sometimes the hardest thing a parent can do is step back, shut mouth and wave enthusiatically as they drive out to meet the world!
PS. Sounds like you did a great job, KYIS, he is well on his way to being independent, capable, responsible and ~ he can cook, too! Just needs employment now and NO, YOU HAVE TO LET HIM DO IT HIS WAY! Smile, keep mouth closed and wave, wave, wave....
Oh yes! He needs to fly!! LOL He's 29. This is the first time he's moved in after becoming an adult. The first week was hard on me! (I'm sure it is hard on him too, but I'm talking about me. ) I lost my evening quiet before bed. DH generally goes to bed first so I am free to read or quilt in quiet. Son now goes to bed last. He really threw a monkey wrench into my at home routine. But we've adjusted to that. He is the most antsy to get out...said he'd hate to meet someone he'd like to date and have to fess up with, "I still live with my mama." LOL
I was concerned about the relationship with his stepdad. They are getting along pretty decently! DH is retired and IMHO spends entirely too much time in front of the computer (the new boob-tube). He now has someone to talk to during the day. DH goes to town to eat lunch every week day and asked son to go with him. Son told him that he couldn't afford it. On the day DH goes for pizza, he told son that he'd pay for it. Son has gone a couple of times but generally eats leftovers if there are any. Or he fixes a sandwich.
And, as I mentioned above, he's doing some chores outside as well as inside. I imagine we are going to miss him when he moves out. But still soon, I hope.
The employment situation has been bleak for students exiting trade schools, Jr College and universities several years now. It's not like our sons & daughter's aren't trying to find jobs, work and careers to start or the next job after one ends through no fault of their own.
It's part of parenting and that job never ends.
Be glad they come home and don't try to exist in the streets.
And face it jobs out there many times aren't that great paying! It'd be hard to try to support yourself with jobs these kids end up working.
I know. I feel for the young people.
After subbing at high school for five years, I now see many former students who have graduated, then gone on to secondary school (whether college or trade school) and they still can't find employment. A young man popped into my office yesterday to visit for a bit. He'll be finished with the local junior college in May and will transfer to a 4-year school next fall. He is so full of enthusiasm...I hope he doesn't lose that zest.
Son will find a job...maybe just enough to get by until he can get back into criminal justice...and hopefully finish his education and get a degree.
Right now - he's getting back to his country roots. Over the last two days he hauled three loads of dropped tree limbs to the brush pile.
And he always asks me what I've planned for supper. LOL Yesterday he made bread in the bread machine...
Sounds like you raised one terrific, very considerate, caring son. I agree, it does put a damper on one's "social life", so I suspect he will really pound the ground looking for work after the first few weeks of quality time with "Mom & Pop". What kind of work is he looking for? (or just anything at this point)
My co-worker was just complaining last week about her son who moved back home 8 mos. ago due to a job loss. She complained that he doesn't give her a penny and he doesn't even take out the garbage. I think her son is overstaying his welcome and he's over 29 y.o. I think boomarang kids are hard. I wish every returning child a well-paying job to support themselves ASAP!!! Good luck to your son. He sounds very sweet.
SPRING HAS F I N A L L Y SPRUNG!!!!!
The plan when he asked to move 'in' was to move to our camper so that he could have his privacy and we could have ours. Well...there was a problem with the refrigerator and hot water heater running off electricity. They would both run off gas. The hot water heater was easiest to repair. The refrigerator took some trouble-shooting and parts ordering. Both are up and running. Son was excited to have his 'own' place. LOL
While I was gone on a job-related seminar, son and DH ran around together. DH paid for a few meals.
When it's supper time, I text son and he comes down to eat with us. Then watches some television before going back up the hill.
No job interviews yet. We're all praying for him.
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