We have just finished a week + visit from DD and her family. That is four people more. I love them all so much and I get so tired when they are here!
Is that true of others? Everyone behaves and is courteous and thoughtful, but the inning and outing, the different activities requiring different clothes and equipment, the meals and cleanup, the numerous pieces of equipment (ipads, iphones, computers + cords, guitar, etc etc) seem to overwhelm our seemingly suddenly too small house!
The other day we took a schooner trip (such fun to see nearby houses from the water side) came back to shore, went to lunch, DH & I went to grocery store came home and started dinner and the rest went shopping. When they came home they all crashed and fell asleep! DGD in her bed, DGS on the sofa, DD in a chair and DSIL on the hammock! It was kind of funny.
Now that they have all left it will seem lonely. . . but not until tomorrow!
I adore company but . . . it's always good to see them go! It's nice to get back to your routine and no matter how great of a houseguest your company is, there are a lot more chores when you have company -- even if they help.
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I love it all while they are here...but am soooo thankful when they are gone. LOL
I agree. No one can fully relax, not even the company. They are glad to go back home to their comfortable routines, too!
When you're accustomed to being just the two of you in a house, it does seem to get crowded and noisy when guests are there. No matter how much I might enjoy their visit, I'm also glad when they leave.
My mother loved to have our extended families for holidays, sometimes up to 40 people, but she'd also say that it was like a storm passed when everybody had gone home.
It's tough to have in-home company and it's also just as tough to be the company in someone's home. When were are at a hotel, vacation rental, Gma's or overnight with others, I have real stict rules.
All our crapp has to be in our room/s unless it's in your hand.
The beds had to be made every morning.
NO clothes could be left in a heap outside your suitcase.
The bathroom counter was to be wiped off after use, the shower stall wiped dry with the bath towel and the towel hung to dry back in the room if not enough bars in bathroom.
If you dirtied a glass in the kitchen between meals - wash and put it away.
And if my husband took a nap in the afternoon, he had to remake the bed just the way the maid left it!
Our kids were taught to offer to help set tables, pour water, clear dirty dishes and load dishwashers, etc. when we were guests in other's homes.
Each of our kids were invited to vacation with other families along through the years. I recall having complimentary comments on how gracious and helpful they were, even to the new acquaintances they met at those destinations.
You might try offering each person a different color set of towels for their stay and advising which days they need to be in laundry hamper, putting stacks of disposable cups in bathrooms and at kitchen sink.
Having a discussion at the first meal together when guests arrive about the ground rules perhaps is in order...such as discussing mealtimes, especially for breakfast and deciding ahead of time when activities will happen.
It's always nice to have visitors and it's always nice when they leave, although it takes a few days to get the linens washed and ironed, the bathrooms cleaned and the kitchen put back to the way we like to arrange it.
The one thing that I have to consciously avoid getting irritated about when I have visitors is the constant disruption in the kitchen. There's always a tea cup, glasses, a plate etc. in the sink or on the counter. I don't understand why they can't just put them into the dishwasher. It's right beside the sink. I have to remind myself that it's not that important and to just enjoy the company.
Lurah, good for you--teaching your children to pitch in and help. That is something my mother failed to do, and it took me a while as a young adult to learn it on my own. I married into a family with ten kids who were all adept in the kitchen from an early age. I always felt like odd man out, not knowing quite what to do or how to be helpful among those skilled folks. I tried to do better with my own daughter. I hope I succeeded.
No rules here! We have only one daughter and she lived in this house since she was 9 years old. They do leave their stuff all over, cords in outlets, things charging. Guitar in living room with computers etc. DGS's typewriter on the porch with paper.
No beds made except DD's. But kids sleep in attic and I don't care. WEnt up there the other day and DGS's space looked like that of the kid in Zits if any of you know that comic strip.
They did both make their beds when they left. See if you can guess which is DGS' and which is DGD's . . . I should say she is 20 and he 16.
Because of the configuration of our small kitchen. It is actually less helpful if people help. It took me years to get DSIL to stop doing that.
Gracie, that dish washer thing is what I have heard others express but for me I would rather have my d.w. loaded correctly. DH usually does the filling and emptying but even he does not do it the way I like!This message has been edited. Last edited by: lady of shallot,
DGS is just as messy in his room at home. If he were my kid I would not allow it. DD keeps hampers in each bedroom and she says that he could as easily be throwing clean clothes into it as well as dirty. He wouldn't know as they are all on the floor!
They are such great kids though that I guess that is little enough to complain about.
LOS I feel exactly as you do. When my bunch is on the way I am so excited. I enjoy every minute they are here, and when they leave I am exhausted but happy to have things get back to normal!
I don't think we need to wander astray to that subject.
Lady of Shallot, I understand the desire to load your dishwasher the way you like it. When I load my mother's dishwasher, she often redoes it if I don't get it started before she notices...LOL.
As for teens and clothes on the floor, I admit that I was a complete slob for a few years in college. I lived at home and my mother used to keep my door closed because she couldn't stand to look at the clothes all over the floor. I can't explain it because I wasn't messy before, nor am I messy now. I think I was just so busy with school, work and activities that it was easier somehow to drop dirty clothes in the corner and clean clothes on the chair. In my defense, I was never offered a hamper nor did I think to ask for one. I did do my own laundry, though.
LOS - re: your comment about the hamper. Didn't know this until our kids were in college and we were chatting - they admitted that in order to pick up their rooms they'd stuff clean clothes that they hadn't previously put away in the hamper to go to the laundry again; it was easier than hanging them up or putting in drawers.
I didn't realize this is what happened as I don't do laundry, my husband does.
Of course, his excuse for not noticing was that he couldn't be bothered to worry about this frivilous kind of thing.
I thought it was a hoot! But I did apologize for laughing to my husband.
Our kids wore uniforms to school which helped cut down on the amount of laundry per week.
When kids got into High School they each did their own laundry becaise of the sports uniforms!
I also later learned the boys were wary of how they managed the play called in their FB uniforms besides
DD was rasty to her brothers if they touched her laundry in the washer!This message has been edited. Last edited by: Lurah,
Loving this thread and the honesty that comes with it!
Yes, it's difficult to have more than 10 people co-existing with each other in this country where we are used to having space and our own way - I agree that many are slobs and they don't see that they are slobs... why? Look back to their parents - and I'm not just roasting the first generation parents - look back to the grand-parents...
To be honest, I actually find it funny that people find that it surprising that others act this way - hey, haven't you trained them to behave just that way? Bottom line, individuals with class and manners pick up after themselves and will go far - others who don't are destined to remain just where they are.
A little too late to have a fun family reunion ~ might just schedule one off-site next time?
ETA: Re-reading my post, I see it that I made it about as clear as mud so I will try to do better. Sounds like most of the posters are catering to children/grand-children of posters - can't speak to that - you are all on your own there for how you have taught them to behave - but, myself, think a family vacation should just be fun. Some activities, games and cards so why is everyone being a slob and walking away from being part of the group? Seems a bit disrespectful to me to the group as a whole...
When I was growing up, I was fortunate enough to have a few of these special events - they are some of my most special memories. I would NEVER have even considered being a "brat" - just wasn't the thing to do back then, wasn't cool so I hope no one is encouraging that behavior now ~ sadly, seems like many are.
I feel for all of you ~ myself, I would not tolerate it. This message has been edited. Last edited by: Idaho Resident,
You're absolutely right.
[quote]Some activities, games and cards so why is everyone being a slob and walking away from being part of the group? quote
It is interesting to me the different activities that families engage in. MY DH would not play a game if his life depended on it! Since my DGS has aspired to being a film director since the age of 8 and since his family lives in a town with a well known film center. . . movies play a big part in our lives (we took him to one and watched at least one every day)
Outside activities they did engage in. I myself no longer bike although DH does and DSIL was very proud of DH biking 62 miles one day at the age of 77!
I have never disciplined my grandkids unless they were in my care. These kids get very strong parental attention (DD has not worked since she had kids)and it has really paid off.
Speaking of laundry, Lurah, it is my favorite task and DD & I were talking about it. In their vacation home the machines are in a closet in the kitchen. I would hate that. I like lots of room to work with it and I also somewhat deal in linens so really need the space.
I would never do laundry in the way DD does but then she is a grown up!
Don't know that I agree with Idaho Resident about messiness or neatness being an indicator of future success. I remember when I was dating DH that he had a round table for eating and really everything else. It was always covered with clay and sculpture projects. Just last week he got a call about a life sized figure sculpture commission. Teaching himself how to sculpt was obviously more important than having a neat/clean table.
Also DSIL whose room is always a mess, is just completing a feature length film (85% done)at age 16. Since he not only wrote the script but directed and is producing, I would say the state of his bedroom has little to do with the abilities necessary to pull all the separate parts of his film making career together. What impresses me the most is the number of people he gets to work on this with him. Strictly on a volunteer basis!This message has been edited. Last edited by: lady of shallot,
When I have company, I stay out of the guest room and guest bathroom. Unless...more are coming during the day and then I check the guest bathroom. While company is here...it's their room. I did call DSs GFs 3DDs (whew!) back into the sewing room where the wet bathing suits and towels were in the middle of the wood floor. The DM started to get involved harder...I slightly shook my head and got her off to one side...new floor with the new finish was not going to ruin in 5 minutes...let's save hard discipline for something worse and enjoy our time together. We get along fine.
Everyone who stays here, always of their own accord strips the linens off the bed and deposits them along with the towels in a laundry basket in my laundry room. Evidently they've all been raised right.
ETA: Now if it ever comes to Granny Camp with the grandkids staying without their parents...there will be rules of conduct.
What do you do with all the wet towels from showers/baths that company uses, especially if they stay abt 5-7 days?
I always have a towel bar problem/place to put them when they are wet???
Sherry, I guess I'm weird because I prefer to strip the beds and gather up the towels after company leaves.
Nance, that is always a problem. Don't people who design houses ever think about practical things like that? Heck, our humongous master bath has only one towel rack. So far.
Looks like the site is having problems - AGAIN - and we can't quote from earlier posts...
Hope I can remember the words here - it was about people who pick up after themselves and those who don't. LOS posted that she didn't believe that was an indicator for future success for some very good reasons.
I agree but I was referring to a family get together where many people have to co-exist in a smaller space than they are used to. As for how people live in their own homes, totally agree that mess/clean is of no matter...
I was speaking only to the group situation where many people have come together to enjoy their time spent ~ together!
For me, I have all wet towels put into laundry basket that is in the bathroom closet. All towels are used only once. I have towels bars/robe hooks that can also be used.
I grew up using a towel only once and have always continued with that.
FFG, I would strip the beds and gather the towels too, except my company does it themselves. Because of the possibilty of wet towels, I do laundry as soon as the car turns around in my driveway to head back to the road. I put the "everyday" set of sheets back on the bed - I sleep in there when DH wakes me with his snoring or I'm just plain restless.
For wet towels - I have a folding rack on my screen porch for towels and swimsuits to dry.
My SIL purchased an over the door rack for the bathroom door to use only when company comes to her house.
Came across this poem over the weekend, and thought you'd like it:
"Houseguests" by Anne Porter:
"All of us are coming"
No they are not coming
They may be coming
They may not be coming.
Four of them are coming,
That is, if they are coming!
Five will come on Friday
Three will leave on Sunday
Two will come back Tuesday,
That is, if they are coming.
If they were coming
Two of them would be coming
But they are not coming . . .
Six of them are coming!
Anne Porter died last year at the age of 100. She published her first collection of poems when she was 83. http://www.poetryfoundation.org/bio/anne-porter
I do a load of towels each day when I have guests. I purposely bought all white towels for the guest baths so that I wouldn't have to worry about sorting. After everyone has their shower, I gather up all of the wet towels and replace them with dry towels. The wet ones go into the washer and dryer, then are ready to replace the next day's wet towels. Luckily washing and drying towels is the easiest kind of laundry to do.
We had new interior doors installed and today I added an over the door hanging towel rack to the hall bathroom door. Of course the door won't close now with it on there. What should I do - sand or chisel down the jam or the door so it will close or take the towel rack back?
I've never had towel racks on my walls because I don't like them as they are always broken or coming loose from the brackets.
What an interesting conversation!
I try to keep the towels color coded, & if there's time during a visit, I throw in a load to wash as often as possible.
I don't mind if company strips the bed before they leave.
We were staying with relatives one time & the hostess got up at 5 a.m. each day to raid the bathrooms & bring fresh towels for everyone - & there was a crowd.
I love having a big group & don't sweat the small stuff. If that means closing the door on a messy bedroom - it's only for a little while.
Lurah, I would take it down and back - buy another that fits your measurements better! Good luck - another idea instead of a bar might be hooks. Spaced properly, you can hang 2 bath towels, 2 hand towels and 2 wash clothes ~ I, personally like them better than a big bar.
Do you have room for a towel rack that sits on the floor? I like these best because they hold lots of towels.
I bought colored towels (really only like white) to use in the attic. We have way too much going on for me to do laundry every day when family is here.
I don't mind if kids hang their towels over this attic railing to dry.
Also we have such a railing on the second floor and again I don't mind towels drying there.
But I have door hooks on both doors in guest room and recently added a stand that has two towel bars so those towels can dry in the guest room.
Aychihuahua that is a great poem. Sounds just like what happens here!
Glad to see 'em come. Glad to see 'em go. Ha!
I think I'll check out those double towel rods that can stand in the guest bedrooms. Good idea. I have hooks on the doors, but no one uses them. Don't know why.
O and I try to give each guest a different color towel. My sister likes her "own" towel and doesn't want to get it mixed up with DH's. I don't blame her.
A standing coatrack can also serve as a towel holder. I've even seen those old spring-loaded globe-looking lights (without lightbulbs!!!) stashed in a corner with towels hung over the globes to dry.
Most of my house "guests" these days are my grown children and my grandchildren. I don't care if they make their beds. I don't care if they leave their cloths around, or their dishes in my sink, or their toys scattered hither and yon. None of that makes any difference to me although I have to admit that they are pretty neat and tidy most of the time. What I care about is having fun and making good memories. When they go I am not at all glad. I am usually pretty down for a few days. I would much rather have the extra work, and the kids around.
I think that was true of my own parents, as well. And, I enjoyed the ease.
Most of my guests are non-family.
We've had major house damage done. NOT deliberately. They just aren't careful--not with their own things. Not with ours. It's just who they are--they don't value "things." They value people, so it's not something they pay attention to.
They are fun to be around, are very loving, etc. Just not careful. Some folks can destroy our home more than we can afford to replace.
I dread the first time one of our friends comes to visit--my new laminate countertops will be ruined, and possibly my new glasstop range, as well. They ruined the countertops in our last place, and put deep scratches in our old glasstop range by dragging pans.
I'm trying to come up with a way to keep them out of my kitchen.... So far, I'm thinking of putting them in a decent hotel nearby. It's a whole lot cheaper than replacing the countertops and range.
.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Indexlady,
Gosh Indexlady! That is a tough one!
I think I might just be upfront and say, "Love ya, but since you wrecked my last kitchen I'm going to ask you to steer clear of my new one!" At least, if you are honest and upfront, your kitchen will be protected and they might take the hint and pay more attention when they are in the other areas of your home. I would speak up before I would let that kind of damage go on. And heck - if you choose to have them stay in a hotel they should pay for their own rooms, why is that your responsibility?
This reminded me of something I need to do... provide special "spots" in the home for technology cords.
It's hard when I go visit, and there are no available outlets in the room for me to recharge. A simple extension outlet plug-in and/or extension cords are soooooo handy.
They work so well for hair gadgets, technology gadgets, steamers, etc. both in the bedrooms, and in another part of the house for when the guest isn't in the room.
I travel with a extension cord and an extension outlet plug-in myself just for this reason--hotels never have enough outlets--or they are place too inconvenient to reach.
LOL! Those are the things we'd love to say, but in reality, don't.
HOWEVER, it did give me the idea to simply ban people from my kitchen. There is another full-size refrigerator (in the garage) we turn over to guests for snacks/foods/beverages. Dishes aren't a problem. It's actual food-prep.
I plan on having the major foods prepared and frozen. I'll make sure I don't need help in the kitchen to whip up a quick salad or side dish.
Thanks for the suggestion. It got my creative juices flowing for handling the sensitive issue.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Indexlady,
I should print this out for my friend...this is EXactly how things go for her!!! ;/
Index lady...I'm so sorry about what happened to your kitchen!!!!!!!! We have lots of company, but nothing has been damaged.
Most of my issues are of my own making because I work too hard to try and make everything perfect...I feel it's always appreciated tho.
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