Don't know where else to go with this post - so here goes -

Hubby works full time, has a flexible schedule so works part time also, I work part time but do ALL of the cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping and cooking. Son, almost 16, does lawn mowing, trimming (yuk- snow shoveling), trash and other "duties as assigned" (is a great help at times). We have been doing project after project on fixer-upper house since purchased 13 years ago. Last fall - built pole-barn (garage-barn) and still not done. Has huge dirt pile to move but can't b/c of the crummy weather we have. Dirt gets tracked everywhere. Having 4th July picnic - maybe 10 ppl - but need to move dirt pile (robably won't happen with this weather), clean the deck (has been cleaned numerous times - but gets dirty - from the dirt pile), wash windows, do the mulching and the bushes, etc need pruned along with all of the everyday stuff and of course running son around (sports, etc) and on top of it - aging - sick parent to help out.
Whew! it never ends! and we never seem to have fun anymore. So - how do you folks get it ALL done and still have the time AND energy to have some fun?

I for one never worry about getting it ALL done. If my dirt pile was tracking in and I couldn't move it, I'd throw down some stepping stones to step on rather than tracking thru the dirt. Are the windows really that dirty that they need washing? Can you just do the front ones and call it good enough?

At our house, I do all teh cooking, shopping, laundry, all the yard and garden, all the home repairs and whatever cleaning gets done, plus try to spend some time with our kids (we're empty nesters), oh, and I work 3 part time jobs. I don't stress over it. If I did, I'd be in the looney bin by tomorrow.

It's all about picking your battles and figuring out what is REALLY important. DH and I work full time oposite shifts and we have 3 kids. OUr house isn't clean but I am super involved with the kids and we eat good dinners.

WE have clean cloths, maby not all the laundry is done but we do have clean cloths to wear. i work 3rd and DH works sorta a swing shift depending on where they need him. We haev 2 in diapers (one spceial needs). Some of the battles I gave up long ago.

FransHaz,
Could you possibly hire some of the work to be done? Can some of your list be "lightly" cleaned? Skip the windows, or do the most visable ones, sweep the deck, forget about staining, etc. for now, hire someone with a ditch-witch to move the dirt. Surely, with all those jobs, you could hire some of the work done and take a much needed break from it and have some fun! Remember all work and no play....

I absolutely agree with most of what has been said here. I'm afraid I'm hardly the best house-keeper that ever happened - really never have been. My son is now grown up and gone - and I miss him so-o-o-o much! I did the best I could when he was growing up to "do it all!" Never did succeed all that well, I'm afraid. But I do remember having some wonderful times with him - and now wish I had some of that time I spent cleaning etc back so I could spend more of it with him. It really does all come to an end all too quickly. Try to keep things in perspective - and do, as many have suggested, try to remember what's important!

I basically do do it all.

I have been asked this question losts, cuz I do get it done.

I write everything down that needs to be done and how much time it will take. I use up every spare moment and then some.

I don't watch tv or sit around. I am constantly moving and doing something.

In fact, today, between the rain, I am going to redo my whole backyard. I have to till it up, put dirt down, grass seed down, hay down, fix the landscape and then move to finish up the front yard.

Fix dinner, clean the house, get ready for work tomorrow. Sometimes I have to work the weekends so I usually only have 2 weekends a month free and those usually rain!

I feel the same way Franhaz, I try to keep on the flybaby track but get thrown off all the time. Coming from a home with an mother born organzied it's frustrating for me, plus I have a perfectionist streak in me which doesn't allow me to complete a task, lol. I try not to let it get to me.

Not trying to be 'flippant' here, but my former MIL said "wait til the company leaves before you clean!!!"

These days, I clean bathroom, kitchen area, sweep/dust a bit and CaLL IT OK

Worry less, enjoy more...

I decluttered.

The fact is some people are high-energy, some are low-energy but try to live like they are high-energy. And others fall in-between.

I was low-energy trying to live high-energy until I decluttered. And, I kept decluttering until I finally got comfortable for MY energy level.

Low-energy doesn't mean a person is sick, or needs to see a doctor, or needs to take herbs or pills. I simply live life at a much slower pace than others.

I eat slow, I walk slow, I cook slow, and I hate being rushed.

I decluttered things, events, hobbies, commitments, etc. until I had designed a life that met MY energy levels. So, now I CAN get it "all" done.

However, I have much less "all" to get done since I've decluttered in a major way.

IMO in order to have a personally satisfying life you need to define what ALL means to you and whether a lot of that ALL are things that are not necessary for your best life. I know women are often burdened by trying to keep up with someone else's definition of a quality life. There are many things, if you are really honest with yourself, that you may not need to do for you and your family to be happy. That may eliminate some things that will save you time and not make much difference in your life.

It sounds as if your son is helpful but that is an area where many families miss out. Working women should not try to do all the household chores but share them with the rest of the family. It's really good for kids to learn how to do things and also learn responsibility.

FranHaz, I think you may need to look at your priorities and move "having fun" higher on the list of things to do regularly. We only get one chance at life and IMO we should enjoy it. Try to make time for you and your DH to go out on a "date" once a week and also do something fun with your son regularly - maybe just get an ice-cream cone on the way back from a sports practice. A lot of these "fun" things can be fairly inexpensive and be quickly squeezed into any busy schedule.

I also recommend you take some time which is only for yourself. Doesn't have to be more than 15 minutes a few times a week to do something you enjoy but your satisfaction with your life will increase.

Good luck - you don't want to have engraved on your headstone "she was a great housekeeper". Better it say "she lived a good life".

This message has been edited. Last edited by: joyluck,

We've lived in our house about 7yrs and it has never been as clean as when we first moved in. I clean, but don't look to close because those dust bunnies are lurking. Right now I need to do a complete cleaning overhaul because I'm due in August and I want to bring him home to a clean house. I'm a recovering perfectionist...I just had to come to terms that nothing is ever good enough for me so why drive myself crazy and miss out on the fun times. JB

That is why I don't invite people over that often. To many things to get done and so little time.

i decided to take this motto on

if u come to see me good if u come to see my house then i can leave

another wards if there your friend they wont worry about anything but talking to u. so y worry about waring yourself out to make everything perfect to have a somebody over. if u want to offer them something to drink buy a few cans of pop and stash some place along with some nice throw away cups.

Its not easy, as you well know. A lot of it is priorities, but it is also thinking smart. I spent most of my weekends chained to the house washing clothes. I couldn't seem to get enough energy to add that to whatever else I was doing through the week. Both my spouse and I work full time jobs and at the time I was putting in a lot of overtime. My husband was doing a lot of the chores, but still I felt overwhelmed. During that time my inlaws dryer broke down and they decided to purchase a new one. To fix the old one was going to cost $70. They asked if we wanted it. I said YES. I spend half my time waiting for the dryer to finish. My husband thought I was crazy. Luckily I had a large laundry room. Talk about a lifesaver. I can now wipe out the laundry in about 6 hours (I do it while watching tv at night on the weekends). My other "marriage saver" is that we now have a cleaning lady who comes in twice a month to do the heavy cleaning. This keeps everyone happy. BTW when we moved and selected a new house I heard my husband explaining to the builder that the laundry room had to be big enough for two dryers, otherwise we were going to need two laundry rooms

I make myself a lot of lists to keep track of things that need to be done. I also send emails to myself. A little wierd maybe, but it helps me. I also heavily use my scheduler on my phone.

Each day, I prioritize my tasks and projects. Some things do get moved to the backburner and that's ok. Some days I have to forgo doing the laundry or cooking dinner. If I don't cook, well we have a freezer and pantry with food, or we can grab a bite out. That's ok too, because if I don't have to worry about cooking and cleaning up, then I have more quality time to relax with my family during mealtime.

alot of household chores don't take long if you consistently keep up with it. For example, I also keep my kitchen and bathroom sinks and counters shiny. It takes me about a minute since I do it frequently. Dusting is easy if kept up.

I also outsource. We have weekly lawn service, and monthly housekeeping service. I do the lighter weekly cleanings though.

Thanks everyone. I think I was feeling overwhelmed because the weather just wouldn't cooperate and we couldn't get the outside stuff done - then when it was nice outside - we practically kill ourselves getting caught up. Well, the weather was nice for a few days and we got the outside done, the 4th of July picnic went well, we had fun and even went on a "day trip" on Sat and went canoeing (fun - never did it before!) and then out to eat along Lake Erie and it was a beautiful evening -- we had such a good time! Thanks so much for your advice and support!