My daughter is in a wedding the first week of October and she is the maid of honor....when she told me this 2 years ago I knew there would be trouble and trouble in an understatement. The bride is being very picky (my daughter isn't the easiest person to get along with either) It is to the point now that they are not even talking and if they do talk they start screaming.(they are both screamers) My daughter is not suppose to call her...if my daughter needs to talk to the bride she has to text her or call one of the other girls in the wedding party and give them the message....When ever my daughter calls her to ask her about something she says....I'm too busy for this you do it.
My daughter called me today in tears saying that she is stressed out about his wedding because the bride is so picky....everyone knows how picky she is and that is why I knew there was going to be trouble...There are 8 girls in the weddding party. I told me daughter today that she needed to decide if she wants to be in the wedding or not. We are getting the bachelorette party invitations ready but my daughter feels like it will not be good enough.
My daughter lives 2 hours away from the bride so it is not easy for her to visit and she is finishing up her summer term. I have helped where I could (and I'm sure this is going to backfire) I told my daughter that her education is more important than this wedding.These two girls are about as opposite as can be...my daughter is not a party planner (HATES IT).
I said "SO IF YOU WANT TO DROP OUT I WILL STAND BEHIND YOU BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO CALL THE BRIDES MONTHER AND TELL HER" because they have yelled.I don't want to be in your wedding and I don't want you in my wedding so many times it doesn't mean anything anymore. Any advise for me.
Are there tv cameras involved? It would be a kindness for both girls to say goodbye and good luck. High maintenance friends aren't worth it. She's not going to play nice. If DD is in college she needs to focus on that. Help her box up all plans and supplies to mail it with signature required NOW to the mother of the bride. They'll need to order dress, etc for the replacement. Why do men marry bridezillas? Doesn't take a gypsy to foresee a nasty divorce.
Sounds like she should back out and better do it soon, so that the bridezilla can make other arrangements. It should never be such a stressful fiasco. I agree that she will have to call the mother if the bride won't talk to her.
my philosophy: there are no real mistakes in quilting, just design opportunities!!
Ask your daughter if she see's herself being friends with the bride after the wedding. If the answer is no then she should back out. If the answer is yes, she needs to think about it. I know what I would do, but that comes with years of experience behind me. Good luck to both you and your daughter. sandy
Oh boy. Anything she is going to do will be wrong.
I was the Maid of Honor (and only attendant) for a picky,picky bride 6 years ago. I barely made it through the wedding without collapsing from stess and expectations...some of which I didn't even know and were presented at the last minute. awful awful awful. The next week after the wedding the doctor (took 2) started me on a regimen of blood pressure meds that took 3 months to fix. She stopped speaking to me 4 years ago (thank goodness) and my life has been so much more stress free. I love not having to talk to her. I'm not even sure I can talk to her in heaven!!!!
Any way she can get out of this wedding the better. Screamers now...who knows what will happen at the wedding. omgosh I'm praying for you and her. Think I'll go take my meds now...
"It's bad to supress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips."
You are right this is a disaster waiting to happen!! I'd bail out now, my health is way more important than this brides wedding will be. Good Luck to both of you. She has 7 other attendants maybe one of them wants to be Maid of Honor.
I dont take meds bur after this story, I am going to see my Dr in the morning!!!!!
I say go to the post office and mail all this stuff in the morning to the Brides mother with a simple note that you need to spend more time on your studies and rid yourself of this stress.
I think if this wedding does not go off just as planned by the bride, your DD will be the scapegoat for anything that goes wrong!!!
I say dont walk away......RUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
First off...breathe! Ask, why was she chosen as the maid-of-honor? My DD was married a week ago and is mostly easy going and very loving but there were times I had to reign her in. My thought is maybe the MOB has no idea how things have escalated. Have your DD talk to her (MOB) and explain her concerns and then decide. Back-in-my-day the attendants gave a shower and smiled sweetly at the wedding. They do sooooo much more now and maybe she can't devote the time necessary or the m0ney. Whatever the outcome, tact and diplomacy is best. IMHO grumbling is best done behind closed doors alone to preserve friendships. Hugs. ((( )))
My answer to this situation is ...walk away & don't look back. Most state laws only require 4 to be present at a wedding ceremony (official to marry, bride, groom & witness...some states require 2 witnesses).
No wedding should have the stress that this one seems to be creating.
We live in the home of the free...because of the brave.
Pack everything up, go to the post office and mail it to them delivery confirmation required.
Then call the mother and tell her you will not be in the wedding & the things are on their way to her as you speak. Good By and hang up. Less said the better.
Good luck, sounds like you will need it... Chris
As a wedding guild volunteer, I've seen my share of meltdowns in 20+ years.
How long have they been friends? Is this the way they usually function, or is this totally different? If it is the way they usually work, then is this just an escalation that will go away after the wedding?
My first inclination is to tell her to get out, stay out. If she backs out, she is going to be subjected to constant pleas to return, that things will be better, etc. If she caves, then more of the same will happen. If she doesn't cave, then she is liable to hear about her "ruining" the wedding for the rest of her life.
I wish all of you the best of luck. There is no easy answer to this situation. No matter what happens, I fear this friendship is gone forever.
"Never be afraid to try anything new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic." Unknown.
As the mother of the bride (just last weekend!) I go for Piney's advise. Part of the MOB job is to finish the job of raising the daughter. The bride should not be expecting a maid of honor or other bridesmaids to be doing the heavy planning and running around that should be done by the couple and the checkbook holders of the wedding.
I do hope that this works out well and quickly. To just mail things off and not give a chance to fix the situation will just be a reflection of the bridesmaid and family more than the bride will ever get a clue.
Best of luck to all involved.
I would do exactly what cksvet said. One of my DD's married several years ago and of the 5 girls in the wedding party - because life takes many different twists and turns, she is only in contact with 2 (one of which is her sister)
I'd end this mess right NOW. It's only going to get worse and worse and worse.
my etsy shops
Just got done talking to my daughter and yes the bride wants my daughter to host a very expensive shower and we don't have that kind of money..After a shouting match today the bride called back to say she was sorry and my daughter said...I can't do this shower on my own will the other girls help out and the bride said "oh of course" well Facebook says 1 out of 8 is willing to help. The bride wants it at a venue and I said "Whats wrong with our house"
I may regret that I'm sure.... my daughter said "What's wrong with her own house" tomorrow I am going to refill my prozac. This girl is something else.
My daughter has already been involved with a wedding 2 months ago and the girl wanted to have her bachlorette party at a hotel so my daughter set it all up (each girl paid her own portion of the bill)and it went fine but my daughter said that when the girl said "Free drinks for me all night long who's buying first round" my daughter thought who are you and what did you do with my freind. Her freind is not normally like that but I guess you put a veil on some of these gals and they go bonkers.
It is just riduculous this girl registered for a digital camera....my daughter asked me what kind of things I registered for and I said "A camping stove and I still have it."
laughing about the veil. So true, time for a reality/entitlement check, many need that from time to time.
I married almost 39 years ago and got out my gift list~ because DD was wondering. We got sheets, towels, trivets (remember those?) now the shower gifts are grander than those but we were just starting out.
Seems like you have an entry for:
sandyo gave the advice I would have.
Is the friendship worth saving?
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