It always makes a person feel good to vent. I think that your reply to her was perfect, but you know that she is not going to be a happy camper. Stand your ground.
No, thank goodness!!!
Glad I'm not in your shoes.
I don't mind coming to work. But that 8 hr. wait to go home is a drag.
Well, you should have said you hardly quilt any longer. you just can't do much anymore if you can't do it well. so sorry. and stick to that.
sigh. she must buy the fabric and batting, etc. good luck hon. say never again, never again, etc. over and over girl. loudly!
If she's keeping FIL from his meds and refuses to take him to a doctor, she's trying to kill him. I think you can go before a judge in his office to get him hospitalized. To heck with the quilts! If you aren't willing to go to a judge, take her shopping and have his children meet at FIL's house and phone an ambulance. He had an "episode" after she left. All children should form a united front to save his life! Quilts?!?
OH EVELYN YOU ARE GOOD.....
I GET THIS SAME SCHPEEL FROM PATIENTS IN MY OFFICE WHEN THEY FIND OUT I QUILT....
IT STARTS OUT AS "WOULD YOU FINISH A QUILT FOR ME I WOULD BE HAPPY TO PAY YOU TO DO IT THE QUILT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME" THEN BEFORE YOU KNOW IT THEY COME UP WITH SOME GREAT IDEA THAT DOES NOT INCLUDE ANY CASH LEAVING THEIR POCKETS. THEY WANT TO TRADE ME SOMETHING THAT I HAVE NO USE FOR AND SO IT GOES.
THIS HAS HAPPENED OVER AND OVER NOW I DONT' EVEN DISCUSS IT I HAVE A FEELING IF I DID ENTER INTO AN AGREEMENT IT WOULD BLOW UP IN MY FACE...TRYING TO BE NICE SOMETIMES JUST DOES NOT PAY..... A FREIND OF MINE ASKED ME LAST WEEK IF I WOULD HAVE TIME TO MEND SOMETHING FOR HER AND I THOUGHT YEA I HAVE TIME TO MEND IT IF I CAN ACTUALLY DO IT...SHE HANDED ME A GROCERY BAG FULL OF MENDING....NOW COME ON PEOPLE.
I DIDN'T HAVE THE FIGHT IN ME THAT DAY I JUST THREW IT IN MY TRUNK AND DROVE AWAY.
I WOULD JUST TELL YOUR MOTHER IN LAW THAT YOU HAVE TAKEN ON SOME QUILTS FOR A COMISSION AND THAT YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GET TO HERS FOR AWHILE AND THEN KEEP STALLING TILL SHE FORGETS ABOUT IT.
Penny, I think your story is horrible enough for everyone! First, don't do it if you can keep from it. Sounds like she'd pass off YOUR work off as HERS & I don't like that idea at all. 2ND get a medical power of attorney for your FIL that legally gives your DH the right to intervene medically. Not to be nosey but is there money involved that would benefit the wife? Sorry to be cynical but your FIL needs someone in his corner whether he likes/wants it.
Bottom line, don't do the quilts unless you have PLENTY of time & do what you can about your FIL.
Keep us posted.
You 'might' be able to longarm the quilts--but you have a loooong list of projects with deadlines and hers will be at the bottom of the list.
My sister asked/told me her daughter really really wanted a quilt handmade by /auntie Rho because shes being married (this weekend in fact!) And her bed will be king sized! Then sister started to involve herself in selecting patterns. Luckily she lives in another state. I quietly found a pattern and fabric solo, made a lap quilt, and sent it for The shower gift a few weeks ago. But Sister is just clueless about the work involved.
My heart breaks for you & your husband. Please don't let anything or anyone stop you from doing what is right for your FIL. I don't want you to have any regret in helping him see what's going on. I regret not being more vocal when my Mom got Alzheimer's. Both brothers & sister made most of the decisions & then said I didn't do anything..not true. Can you guys get power of attorney for him? Prove that the wife doesn't have his best interests regarding his health, etc? Has she been like this from the beginning? Just curious..where did they meet? Has she been married before?
Penny, I hope I'm not making things worse by asking all this. I just so worried about you & your husband.
I'm keeping you both in my thoughts & pr@yers.
P.S. Too bad there's not a speechless face to print. This has me that way.
What is your DH's thought on the quilts? It's HIS father whom you will disappoint. If your DH really wants to keep his dad happy, I'm afraid you're stuck. If your DH is okay with your upsetting the not-so-dear MIL (and thus his dad), then go with one of the other recommendations.
I hate getting into the in-law messes. Been there, done that. Thoughts and prayers for you, my friend.
"Never be afraid to try anything new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic." Unknown.
Oh, dear girl. What a mess indeed! Maybe talk with one of your attorney friends about the logistics in OK of handling this if that's the decision that is made. The kids might have a legitimate claim to have the current will nullified if it can be proved that the bulk of the estate came from their mother and has now been diverted to second wife. Of course, you are already thinking these things, but it gets very complicated when emotions are added in. Good luck my dear. Hang tough.
Oh, and as for those quilts? Tell her you'll be happy to quilt them if she furnished you with the completed tops, backing and batting.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Florida Farm Girl,
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.
Congratulations Penny! and may both be as healthy and cute as Charlie.
As far as mom, its a lose-lose situation. You will have guilty feelings and she will be mad no matter what your choice. Just bite the bullet and stick with your decision! No second guessing or going back and changing your mind now!
Oh yeah, I know you're an attorney, but don't recall whether you're licensed in OK and you know how laws differ state to state.
Sometimes that outside cool head helps put things in perspective.
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.
Congrats on the new grandbabies! And sympathy on dealing with the m-I-l. Not an easy thing anyway you look at it.
I've read some and skimmed some.
CONGRATS on the two new babies!!! Fantabulous!!!
I think you've handled the quilt situation as well as you can.
Now on to FIL. Does OK have an elder abuse hotline? Knowing that the State is watching her might make her take a little better care of your FIL.
Does this hat make my butt look big?
Yikes, what a horrible situation with you father-in-law. I wish you the best of luck. I have no advice, just wanted to offer some support.
~There are pawprints on my heart.~
"Estranged sons" says to me those quilts won't be going to those guys. You've changed your mind and cannot do them. No explaination necessary. Use those lawyer skills you've got to the max. Find out about elder abuse in that state as soon as possible. She's taking him to the cleaners, and maybe planning something worse. Clanging bells are going off so loud in my ears I can barely hear. Prayers for wisdom for you and your husband,father in law going up.
"It's bad to supress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips."
I agree with Nancy20...warning bells are really loud for me too. Let loose that primal scream & take care of business, girl! You know we're here for you.
OMG!!! I agree with Nancyc20 about the "estranged". My reaction is that there is no "love lost" as it is and it will be even worse when the FIL dies. To me, the FIL is NOT in his wits if he is digging up trees here in OK in this heat with warnings all over the news about taking care of health, stay inside etc.
IMHO, family needs to step in now or they will be attending a funeral soon AND poor widow will have all the money to boot.
And why is he off his meds???
What meds does SHE take....or need?
And about the quilt(s)--very last priority or concern.
Penny: You mentioned that she claims they never get your e-mails. Next time you are at their house, get on her computer and see if she has "blocked" your name (e-mail address, etc.) from her e-mail list. If she has blocked you, then they won't get your e-mails! Good luck. I know how trying and frustrating this situation is and I pray that it all works out for you and your FIL.
Penny Quilts, look at the options in your e-mail program. there used to be an option that you could use that sends you a message that the e-mail has been "read" or open long enough to trigger a read notice.
I was thinking the very same thing. I did that after a certain person claimed to have "not received" email from me. It automatically returns to you a message that the email was received/read.
If you do get a chance to use her computer I would check her recycle bin & I would even check her history to see what subjects this :computer savy lady" has been reading up on. Something just screams that she does not have her DHs best interest at heart. I would not let my DH labor in the heat & he is a lot younger than your DFIL.
PS,.... Good Save on the quilt making dilemma, Congratulations.
<><><> Express Your Creative Side ~~ Sew Something Today. <><><>
No story that bad thank go*d. My brother did come up with the " I have some pants to bring you to hem for me" I flatly told him I'd give him the name of a good seamstress. thatsa stopped that one. My BIL told me I should make canvas boat covers, the roof kind for the 40 ft and up size and iI told him that is paying work and if it's a job I don't want it, besides I wouldn't have a clue where to start. I have 1 friend who gave mne a quit to quilt for her, no she didn't ask and " whenever I get to it." thats been about 4 or 5 years now and every time she comes up she asks about it and I just tell here I haven't had time.
Wow, what a mess! And since they've been married so long, I'd think that complicates it.
The only ones I hem, etc for are my daughters. If anyone else mentions mending or hemming, I shudder and say, "Oh G*d no" and they've always gotten the drift.
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