Message Boards

I have just started sewing the dress. Her wedding is in April. I am very excited that she wants me to make it. The problem is that the dress is cream satin covered with black lace. I think it will be beautiful.
However, my MIL, SIL and DH are horrified that she wants to wear black. I get tired of hearing that it will be like a funeral. Black is not my choice for the dress. I love my daughter and will make anything she wants. I just don't know how else to respond to my husband and his family.
Help!

Ask that they trust the creativity and to wait to see the final dress and everything else come together. Like the decorating shows when the people are sure the designer is crazy, then it all works together beautifully.

Black is very fashionable for weddings now.

It is her wedding, give her what she wants. The first time I saw a wedding with the attendants in black probably 15 years ago now, I was shocked, but it was beautiful. Now I don't think anything of it.

Not any more that I do when the deceased has requested that every one wear bright colors for their funeral... chris

My DIL wore a completely black strapless gown for her wedding. Certainly wouldn't be my choice, but that was hers.

I haven't seen a bride in black yet, but have seen attendants in black. I agree, it's her wedding, and she should have whatever she wants! I made my daughter's wedding gown, and I wish you lots of luck!. Since hers was a combination of 3 designs and a little of my own, I made it in muslin first. I was glad as we had to make several adjustments which were easy to do before, but could have been a problem later.

I am glad you are supporting her choices. I would tell them to trust her and wait and see. Be positive. It's her choice. Negative opinions would be unkind, in my opinion. It sounds beautiful to me. Anything my daughter wore would be special.

Navywife,
I made a copy out of muslin first. It is a pattern with a lot of changes.
It took me weeks to get the courage to cut the real fabric.

I made a Mother of the Bride gown (Dupioni silk) several years ago and combined patterns. I made 6 muslins for the sleeves before everything fit. Since you're adding lace to that (and satin can "travel") I'd advise making a muslin at least for the bodice. It's well worth the time and saves on your investment.

Just smile sweetly about the black and say you don't need any comments right now. "Thank Yeewww"", says Brenda on The Closer...

eta: just read that you've already made a muslin. Yipeee! Now the fun begins! I really enjoyed sewing on the dress I made, one I knew it was going to fit her perfectly. That moment she tries it on and it fits is really special. Happy sewing!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: nancyc20,

Enjoy the time with your daughter while you make the dress that she dreams of. As to the others' comments, just smile and say that they got to choose theirs and this was her choice. If needed, especially for hubby/dad show him picture of other weddings with black as one of the colors. When they see the dress it won't be a black dress, it will be a stylish creation with the cream showing the lace design.

I just got done making my 4th daughter's wedding dress. It is a fun chance, I'm glad you are starting early, take your time and work on it when you are in the right mood, it will go so much better. This winter will be great to sit and hem it when it is cold outside.

You're a good mommy. When my DD showed us her engagement ring I quickly wrote her a check to buy her dream dress. I knew it would take months to order and weeks to fit her right. She wears a size ten but is a DDD! She ended up with an amazing dress that fit perfectly but they had to order size 16 and remake it. I'm good at sewing but being 500 miles away I knew I'd never get it right. It was strapless and never once during the ceremony or dance did she have to hitch it up. It was elegant beaded lace with minimal cleavage and I would NEVER have thought it possible. Brides are smart to get their dream dress and mothers are smart to encourage it. We want our daughters to be independent and able to stand up to others. Keep telling your family how proud of her you are and proud of her choices. She'll never be boring.

I made my own. I was nuts.

It's HER wedding. Not theirs. Maybe they should watch "Bridezillas" to see what can happen? LOL My Mom made mine, I sent her the pattern and the lace fabric and told her to work her magic. My dress was fabulous, just perfect. Saved tons of money, and was just what I wanted. I went with a "Gibson Girl" style.

How about saying... "It's her wedding, her day, her dress...and her memories. I'm honored that she has asked me to make her dress and to be part of those memories too. I'm going to set my own taste and preferences about white dresses aside...and try my best to make this the most beautiful dress...and most wonderful experience I can for her. Hope that you will do the same."

After my 5th wedding dress to make for family members...I quit. Then still agreed to "embellish" two more after that...I'm the only one who sews in the family. But, getting too old to want to do another...they are so nerve racking...worried that it will be just what the bride wants.

Making the muslin pattern was a good idea...now if she just doesn't have to gain/lose much weight!

My niece Shannon lost weight and I had to shift all 32 buttons over two days before the wedding...no time to alter the dress. Couldn't have anyway...as she "changed her mind" after seeing it completed two weeks before the wedding and wanted little pearls sewn on the top lace of the bodice and sleeves. So they had to be sewn through all layers of the dress. No way to alter after that. She was so nervous about everything she started dropping weight like mad the last week before the event. What a nightmare! But, all was fine when it finally happened...the dress looked fine (bustle covered the shifted fabric at the waist)...and she loved all the decorations and got tons of wonderful comments on her dress, her venue, her food for the reception...all done by the family. We still talk about it today.

Hoping your event will be just as memorable...and that the family will just get behind the bride...regardless of her trendy choices.

You sound like me looking at the fabric for weeks before cutting it! I bought lace for the top that cost $35 a yard...in 1978!

Very simple.
No one else's business.
If questions are thrown at you, tell them to ask the bride. HOWEVER, it she is upset, you will not be responsible for the "head's that will roll" (and might even help her make some roll).

Black isn't my thing for a wedding either...however, what color will the men be dressed in?

BFFs son's favorite color has always been black. He started out in kindergarten coloring his houses black. She wondered when the school would call in a psychologist to determine why her son looked at his world - black.