I believe my husband may be ADD and we are in the process of getting him evaluated. In the meantime, I need to find some tools and suggestions to help him be better organized so he can find things easily, doesn't "lose" things, remembers tasks and isn't distracted from his "to do" list. Any help here?

Find an area to keep things and KEEP them there. For instance -

--keys should always be on the key hook, in the bowl by the door, etc.

--a corkboard, calkboard, etc. for "to do" lists - check off as completed

Keep things consistant. ADHD people get confused easily when things are changed a lot. Keep a set schedule for getting up, going to bed, etc.

My son was diagnosed at age 7 he is now 16 and we still do the above to help him. His room is still a mess but I guess that's part of being 16!! Good luck!

Franhaz, my son was diagnosed at age 7. He is now 11. He has trouble remembering to turn in his completed assignments. It is a never ending job to keep him focused. He must have all tasks broken down into short,small ones. We don't rattle off a list of things to do.

I do worry about him as an adult. I worry that he will never clean his home or be able to complete job tasks if it is not something he loves to do.

I suspect I have innattentive ADD. I have a hard time finishing tasks. If I don't keep keys and such in the same place they get lost. I am not good at staying on top of things. It is frustrating. My DH does not understand why I can't just keep every thing in its place. I am just not wired that way.

I would love any tips that are posted for me and my son.

FranHaz, does your son hoard stuff? I am seeing patterns with that,too. I actually wonder if my son has OCD instead of ADD.

quote:

Originally posted by Reb Fan:
FranHaz, does your son hoard stuff? I am seeing patterns with that,too. I actually wonder if my son has OCD instead of ADD.

You can't confuse the 2 here is a link on OCD.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: tsy72001,

Thanks TSY for the informative link. He definitely displays quite a few of these symptoms. I wish I knew how to help him.

Thanks again.

Well I have really bad ADD. So her's my insider view.

Don't distract me when I am doing things. I completly loose my train of thought and forget what I was doing when somone interupts me.

Write it down! I will constantly ask the same question over and over even tough i already got the answer becaue I keep forgetting the answer.

If I'm busy and you ask me something I probably won't do it and will completly forget you asked in the 1st place.

I have to stage everything before I do it (this involvs cleaning also). If I have everyithing set up to get it finished (which genearlly doesn't happen at the same time) and then DH comes behind me and moves it all around I am lost. I have no idea where to start because my plan has been destroyed and I generally don't start again for a while.

i used to keep 2 sets of keys to increas my odds of finding one!

I can get involved in a project I LOVE (ex, crochet) and just whip it out and suddenly 1/2 way throug loos all intrest for no good reason and not pick it back up for months or years.

i move piles without really cleaning. The reason is I will have some stuff in my hands to take care of and when I get to the room and see something else that needs to be taken care of I will flip my train of thought, put down the 1st pile and grab the new stuff. This is a vicious cycle.

This is the same reason I loos things like my wallet or keys. They will be in my hand and suddenly I see something and get a instant "I've been looking for that" and set down my keys/wallet or what ever on any nearby surface and never realize I did it. my husband often finds my wallet in the strangest places because of this habbit.

feel free to ask me any ? you may have. I am also dyslexic so forgive my spelling.

I actually have this t-shirt in black. I wear it often.

My son struggled with ADD throughout his childhood. Here are a few hints. Break down big jobs into small ones. Keep a routine. Have specific places to keep things.

We kept him in regular schools and worked with his teachers to keep us informed if work didn't get turned in. He had two treatment periods with occupational therapists, which helped immensely.

He struggled in high school, but tested very high, so we kept on him to complete his work. He then entered community college, lived at home, and worked at an evening job. It was frustrating for him, and he got just average grades. In his sophomore year, he transferred to a four-year university and lived on campus. Suddenly, his grades were tops. He worked at a campus job. He says the difference was not having to "change lives" each day from home to school to work.

Keep the faith, Moms. He is a sought-after computer specialist with a great job (his quirks seem to fit this detail-oriented work), a clean apartment, and a really sweet girlfriend. Your kids will be fine also.

No - my son doesn't "hoard". He has pretty level moods, too...not way up or way down -- but he is very "cluttery", and needs lists to remember to do everything.

He has some trouble in school --gets some A's mostly B & C's. He seems to do well in class and on small tests - but blows the "final exam" then ends up wih a C in the class after doing pretty well all semester. It's frustrating for him and us. We're starting to talk about the future - he has NO IDEA of what he wants to do and neither do we...need to do more research - but that is a goal to work on.

Thanks for the encouragement Fogbound. Franhaz, I would say my DS is really more cluttery than a hoarder, now that you mention it. He just does not want to get rid of anything.

It takes a lot of patience.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Reb Fan,

are you sure he doesn't want to get rid of it? i have alot of clutter and it's overwhelming at times. I do want to get rid of it and i do get rid of a bit here and there but over all it's more a matter of not knowing where to start

Thank you all for your answers. Some of them are applicable and some aren't because my husband is an adult and some of your loved ones are children. We already do all of the things you all suggested but to no avail. We have a designated spot for keys -- if he remembers to put them there. I have learned to give him only one task at a time and if he focuses on this until it's done, there are no problems. However, if the phone rings or someone stops by or he has to go get a tool, he's already distracted. Also, this is a very real problem pertaining to his job; I can't be there to help keep him on task when he is working. I wait until it is a good time to talk to him and try not to interrupt when he is busy because I can see that is an effort for him to focus on me and then try to regain his momentum. I have learned not to take it personally when he interrupts me because I know he will forget what he wants to say if he doesn't, or when he walks away in the middle of my sentence when I am still speaking, because I know he is already off onto the next thing. However, not taking it personally is different from being able learn to function properly -- both personally and professionally -- with this disorder. I believe it is no different than any other disorder or disease -- i.e. if you are diabetic, you find the tools to work with and around it. I am looking for applicable, workable tools we can apply and use to work around his ADHD. I have heard of coaches; does anyone have any experience with Coaching? Any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: mannfuchs,

As an adult with ADD who suffered through school and young adulthood with no help or diagnosis, (just a suspicion) I can sympathize with what you are going through.I developed some coping skills though the years, only being"officially" diagnosed a few years ago. At that time, the Dr. offered meds, but I figured I already had the coping skills in place and they were working, and now in my early 50s, the a m p he t e mi ne-like meds , not knowing how they might affect my heart(I have MVP) I chose not to take them.But these are some things that work for me-

lists. You can't have too many. I have a large "to do" list that keeps me on task.Many days I seem more overwhelmed and unable to focus. I get hrough it one task at a time. If I need to, I break a large task into small ones. My goal is to complete one task, cross it off and begin a new one.

Rewards. I reward myself for a task completed- a set amount of time spent off task, doing whatever I want. usually it is reading or computer time.When the time is up, I move on to the next task. I got almost my whole long leist finished yesterday doing this. It was a very productive day for me.

Organization. Getting rid of clutter and having a place for everything. No easy task, it has taken me all of my life to get to this point. it is so good not to be constantly loosing things, although I still sometimes do.I also have an extra spare set of keys that helps a lot for those times I misplace them.

I wish you and your hubby well.It is not an easy problem to cope with. But look on the bright side, a lot of us with ADD are great at multi-tasking!

ETA- My hardest problem to cope with seems to be paying attention when someone is speaking to me. My mind will run off in different directions and before I realize it, I have missed most of what they are saying. I still need some coping strategies for that! I try real hard to focus on the person, but it is so hard sometimes.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Becky56,

Dear Becky56:

Thank you for your insights. My husband has a list; I gave him a small notebook to carry around with him -- one that fits into his pocket -- and it seems to work well -- as long as he remembers to look at it when he finishes one task or gets done with email or gets out of a meeting. The clutter is a really good suggestion. I am typically a very organized person -- I am an Executive Assistant at work -- but this last year was a real challenge for me because my husband had colon cancer and we spent the year going through radiation, chemo, surgery and then follow up chemo. He continued to work full time through the entire time with the exception of 2 weeks off for the surgery, but was done for when he got home from work. I picked up all his "chores" since he was not able to do them, i.e. bill paying, lawn mowing, house repair, etc. in addition to taking care of him. Something had to give -- hence the clutter. I did not realize it might have an impact on his ability to function well. I have also decided to consult him about reorganizing our office area to be easier for him to work, such as more desk top space, an official "in" and "out" box, etc. I am like Winnie the Pooh, in that I like "a place for everything and everything in its place." Our office is a little cramped and he does collect clutter on his desk because he doesn't really have an appropriate place to put it.

Any and other tips are welcome and GREATLY appreciated!

This may sound stupid but it has worked for me. for those moments when I am in my car and something pops into my head. A "oh ya, I gotta do that on my way home" i have a tiny yellow post-it pad and i will jot it down and stick it on my steering wheel.

Often after work I am spent and totally forget things that i had forgotten but only remembered just before I went in. (did that make any sence). And the post-it's are verry visible and will be there when I go and sit down and I cannot avoid them.

Or even one of those small voice recorders to take things down on. LIttle quicker than writing a note.

My ADD is a HUGE issue with my DH and I. He has electrical engenering and automated manufacturing degrees and is a machine mechanic. He goes from a to b to c. i on the other hand am scatter brained and will go from A > f > W > B and go in circles alot. i am worse the less sleep I get and being a mother of 3 and working 3rd shift that is a issue with me.

He tries to keep he house clean and has a hard time understanding that I really am not out to sabatoge his efforts and I don't like living like this and I do try.

There is a magazine called ADDitude and the web site www.additudemag.com This may be a helpful resource. I have read the magazine and think it is a good one. I have seen articles on coaches. They help people to develop coping and organizational skills. I have never met one.

ADD can put a strain on the family. It takes a great deal of patience and perseverance.

Mannfuchs, it seems like you have been very supportive and proactive. I think you are doing the right things to help him stay organized and focused. I hope you continue to find suggestions that will help.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Reb Fan,

I forgot about post it notes! they are a big help. When I worked, I used them everywhere, home, work,in the car.

Also, I have found, even though it isn't very attractive, the best place to leave reminders for myself is taped to the bathroom mirror. It is usually the last thing I look at before going out the door. I used to have sticky notes taped to it all the time when I worked.

Again, thank you all so much for your ideas! I forgot about the post it notes. I use them all the time. It gave me a great idea. I asked my husband about this already and he said no to it, but I think I will just do it I have this machine called the Zip Notes. It is run by batteries and is filled with a roll of paper much like adding machine tape. However the roll of paper is one long sticky note. You push the button and it makes the note whatever length you need it and you tear it off (kind of like tearing aluminum foil). That would be perfect for his car. As for leaving notes on the mirror, I've done one better than that. I have discovered that dry erase markers work great on mirrors and glass I have turned our bathroom mirror into a giant "white board" for both of us! It's great. I have also visited the IKEA website (we live in Canton, Michigan about 5 minutes from their newest store) and I have figured a plan to reorganize our office to work better for him. I appreciated your comments, too, about the need for habits. He is a district manager for a Burger King franchise and is in charge of 7 restaurants, plus he is taking over coordinating their maintenance department so it's hard to get into any good habits when you are continually putting out fires. However, I can make his office space as clutter-free and organized as possible and hopefully that will help. As always -- thank you, thank you, THANK YOU and feel free to keep the ideas coming! P.S. I forgot to ask -- what is DH?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: mannfuchs,

DH=Dear hubby

I have ADD, as do my cousin who I watch during the summer... and this is what works for us...

I have lots of nice baskets set around, and each basket is designated for something. One is where we throw keys, wallets, chapstick, anything that may be in our pockets or bags when we come home, it may not be perfectly organized in the basket, BUT, we know where things will be and we just have to go to the basket.
I have a basket for bills, my cousin has one for his mail. Even if we don't get to it for a week or more (Which is usually the case) we know where to go when we want it.
I actually have a few to do lists around the place as well. One on the fridge, one in my pocketbook, one in my bedroom. Constant reminders of what needs to be done, because just being shown or told once DOES NOT cut it.
Also, different colors, different places for things will really help. and I hope this advice helps too. Invest in some nice sturdy organizer baskets or colored boxes or whatever your style is at a home goods store, target, anywhere and you'll be surprised at how much easier home organizing with and ADD husband can be!

automatic on line bill pay has been a blessing for me. I was always late. though completly capable of paying the bill I would forget because at the time it came in the house it was not the right time to be sitting down and writing a check.

the only thing i pay by check now is the water/sewer which I write a check and I still get paper bills for car insurance (but I pay those on line)

The best thing my hubby &I did was enroll in the Family-to-Family course. One day or evening per week (3 hours). Just NAMI, Nat.Assoc.of Mental Illness. All states &cities/counties provide this course. It is very in depth. Covering Jr college, unit. Employmt mess,assisted living apartments...differences in brain functioning ... I can't recommend your participation in F-to-Family &nAME has monthly mettings. We have witnessed many families come after some tragedy, law enforcement envovlement ...Also if u ever need this type of from the Authorities you needto ask for a special needs officer... & don't take no for an answer. These young adults/even older ones can very daily end up getting arrested and treated like a criminal...getting thrown ok the pavement & taken to the hospital for stitces & will become very unstable due to all the confusion. So please check your area and find out everything the offer& what assistance you need. They can actually go out to the home & fill their pillboxes for them. They can file disability claims. So check. This illness will last a lifetime & the caregiver can end up in the hospital. Pose. Take care of youself & stop beating your head against the.

quote:

Originally posted by Redtosew:
The best thing my hubby &I did was enroll in the Family-to-Family course. One day or evening per week (3 hours). Sponsored by NAMI, Nat.Assoc.of Mental Illness. All states &cities/counties provide this course. It is very in depth. Covering how to succeed in Jr college, ,further education .... Employment,assisted living apartments...differences in brain functioning ... I can't recommend your participation in F-to-Family &nAME has monthly mettings. We have witnessed many families come after some tragedy, law enforcement envovlement ...Also if u ever need this type of from the Authorities you needto ask for a special needs officer... & don't take no for an answer. These young adults/even older ones can very daily end up getting arrested and treated like a criminal...getting thrown ok the pavement & taken to the hospital for stitces & will become very unstable due to all the confusion. So please check your area and find out everything the offer& what assistance you need. They can actually go out to the home & fill their pillboxes for them. They can file disability claims. So check. This illness will last a lifetime & the caregiver can end up in the hospital. Pose. Take care of youself & stop beating your head against the.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Redtosew,

*Thank you but I don't think this applies to anyone on this thread. I am Dyslexic and ADD I also have a son who is ASD ( autisim spectrum disorder) and I don't concider my self as having a severe mental illness (and none of these are listed). Yes ADD will be there forever, you never get over it. I have read diffrent thoeries about it being a super mild ASD as many things are interlinked. A great book to read which I bought because of my son was The Fabric of Autisim it made alot of sence regarding my own life and helped me to understand my son better. It really made alot of sence and from my personal experience I can really see how ADD could be an ASD. Throught the book I kept saying "that's me" and "yup, that makes sence" or "that's why I do that"


I went to the site NAMI Family to Family
and the 1st sentence was... The NAMI Family-to-Family