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Just Curious Sign In/Join 
Picture of Spanish Revival
posted
How long have you lived in your home? We moved into our present home in 1992 with the thought of never moving out, and I sincerely hope we never have to but you never know what the future holds. Although we're in our 50's I do think, quite often, of the future and not being able to care for ourselves and the possibility of moving to an adult care facility or something of that nature. I would literally hate that. I would never want to be a burden to any of our children so I don't think I would move in with them. I would just like to stay here till they take me out feet first! What are your thoughts? Would moving out of your home bother you, or would you accept it with grace?
 
Posts: 1002 | Location: Florida | Registered: Aug 22, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of KeepYouInStitches
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I've been here for 10 1/2 years. I said this would be the last time I move myself. Next time the kids will do the moving.

That being said. I don't think either DH nor I can afford this house when one or the other is gone. However, DS is single and has said that since DH is almost 18 years older than me and if things go with statistics, that at this point in his life he would buy a mobile home and move in on my 10 acres so that I could keep it. Yes, we've discussed this. I said that we could build him an apartment in the shop building. DS mentioned to my SIL that he'd like to buy some property that is near our home. SIL told him to hold off that when DH is gone that I will need help. So...the kids are thinking about me too.

Failing that, I will sell and find something less expensive OR retain an acre and buy my own mobile home.

I have Plan A, Plan B and Plan C. Plan C being me incapacitated and being nice to my DS and the stepchildren so that they pick out a nice nursing home. Wink

DH is like Alfred E Newman from Mad Magazine - What? Me Worry?
 
Posts: 17313 | Location: Daingerfield, TX | Registered: Feb 07, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of conrad
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We have lived in this home 30 years! Way too long with way too much storage space...for way TOO MUCH accumulated stuff! Big Grin

We are currently in process of disposing, selling and donating of most of it. We hope to get it ready for the market in 3-4 weeks. Crazy busy.
We do have another home in the mountains that is mostly furnished (past 4 years) so 3/4 of these things are not going with us. It is a job that my kids are happy we are doing, so they don't have to deal with it. Wink
 
Posts: 9670 | Location: Plains & Mountains | Registered: Jun 08, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of lady of shallot
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WE have lived in this, our only home, since 1971.
a neighbor asked us yesterday why we didn't move to a single floor smaller house.

We couldn't do that because my DH is a craftsperson and we hardly have room enough for what he likes to do. I also would not like to move because our two grandchildren, girl 22, boy almost 19 love this house. We feel that the stability of having this as a secure safe, loving place for them has been very important. They also have the same situation with their father's parents. They also have the custom of lifelong trips to the outer banks, visits to friends in the Pocoanos, Fire Island, Montauk and Grand Manan.

If any children could be said to have an ideal childhood I think it is our grandchildren. I consider this one of my lifes great gifts. Both my grandchildren have chosen to go to college in Maine.

We are 80 and 79 and quite easily can manage the three staircases our home contains. We are both in good health. Of course we probably only have realistically speaking about 10 more years, but DH's mother lived to be 97. We actually don't worry about the future. But we do know that one of us will go before the other and that it will be devastating to the one left behind.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: lady of shallot,
 
Posts: 13008 | Registered: Jun 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I'm also in the process of getting rid of stuff to move closer to son. Every time I haul a load off I find more. I haven't even started good yet.
 
Posts: 2300 | Location: Arkansas Zone 7 | Registered: Aug 18, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Florida Farm Girl
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DH and I just moved out of a house where we lived for 15 years. I'm happy to say that we brought only one 26 foot rental truck, plus some yard tools and such. It's still a lot. We did a lot of sorting, selling and giving away in the process. So, for now, I think we're okay. I don't know if this will be my last home or not. I'd like to think so, but at 62 its a bit too soon to tell. DH says he's not moving again but he's a number of years older than me. Should the need arise, I'd like to think that I could make a smart decision about whether to move to some kind of facility.

Oh, my Dad died at 79 due to a heart attack. Mama died at 96 when her heart just gave out.


www.floridafarmgirlsworld.blogspot.com


Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.
 
Posts: 6784 | Location: north Georgia mountains  | Registered: Dec 12, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Charming
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We've been in our home 14 1/2 years. Unfortunately for us, we have a double lot (2/3 acre which is huge for our area) and we are in a raised beach cottage. DH has not desire to ever move. Some day we are going to have to install an elevator and at some point - start hiring out the lawn care.

DH is 9 years older and so if he goes first, although I love our house - I'm outta here into something easier to maintain. I think he will live here till he goes feet first.


Fun and Info
 
Posts: 3603 | Location: Coastal SC | Registered: Jan 10, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Indexlady
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We bought our home 3 years ago. It was with aging in mind, although that's not WHY we moved. We just looked at our ages, and realized we aren't getting younger!

It's inexpensive enough that, barring a radical happening, both of us can deal with the home, upkeep, and finances if either one of us passes before the other.

And, only a few changes would be needed if we became wheelchair bound.
 
Posts: 4592 | Location: In the beautiful Tennessee Valley, between the Cumberland Plateau and the Great Smoky Mountains. | Registered: Jul 12, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Kathy_in_wlsv
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we moved here Aug. 11, 1986. Strangely enough we ALWAYS moved on Aug 11..

So its been 28 years in this house and we both plan to leave feet first.


Life is GOOD!!
 
Posts: 1577 | Location: Upstate NY | Registered: Nov 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Handie Ann
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Like LOS we moved into our home in 1973 and we will stay as long as we can. We had though to sell and move but each time the market has tanked so we have just stayed. I'm going to let our Children deal with the house and everything in it after we are gone.


Handie Ann
 
Posts: 3591 | Location: Des Moines, Wa. USA | Registered: Jan 05, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Waverider ;)
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I am living in this house nearly 10 years. We needed more room desperately. The market has turned a lot, since we have bought unfortunately. My dream is to sell this house and move to NYC to be closer to my sister after my DH retires and it is the 'right' time to try and sell it. I think about my DH dying early and I really panic! (I think about it a lot, my DF died young and his wasn't that old either)
I pray that we both live long enough to sell this house and move to a condo in NYC. No way can I afford to live here by myself and I wouldn't want to either.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Waverider ;),
 
Posts: 2531 | Location: "The Garden State", NJ ~ Zone 7 | Registered: Nov 05, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of lady of shallot
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quote:
my DF died young and his wasn't that old either


Waverider your DH is not your DF and even if it was his father there is no reason to think his life span would be the same.

My DH got himself into a very bad psychological state when he was 54 a/c that is the age his DF was when he died. It actually was a year of **** for us both. But his Dad died of meningitis and DH was, and always has been a very healthy man.
 
Posts: 13008 | Registered: Jun 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of CJO
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We moved into our 4th last house 1 1/2 yrs ago. It is easier to care for (one story), but it's still too large. I could have gone for the smaller model, but dh wants sq. ft. Wink

My child would never care for me, so hopefully I 'go' before dh. He has sev children that would care for him.

Actually, SOMEDAY, I would love to live in a beach apartment where there is no yard andddd no condo fees. I don't think dh would ever want to however.
 
Posts: 2910 | Registered: Oct 19, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of zone9alady
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After moving around for 20 years because of the military, DH retired and we had a small home built here in Florida in 2002, we moved in Jan of 2003 and been adding to it ever since.

Our plans are NEVER to move again. We've done so much work to this home and property in the last 11 years I couldn't imagine starting over or moving to a smaller place. We doubled the size of the original house and plan to add a master suite and bath in a couple of years. Added courtyards, porches, outdoor kitchen, patios, Gazebos, fountains, a pergola and a huge workshop and a storage shed. Future plans for goats and chickens are in the works.

We landscaped, cut trees, moved ground, added roads, cut trails and planted over 400, shrubs, trees and plants.

With all that being said, DH and I are both in our 50's. He has always planned for the future and has everything in place financially, if we need it. The master suite will be a small apartment in itself with a morning kitchen and office. DH plans and hopes his daughter and family will move here and take over the home when we get too old or unable to maintain it ourselves. That's the reason for our own wing for us to live in privacy. We don't expect her to take care of us, we will hire home care if needed.

I guess DH is hoping that he will be like his mother, still living by herself at her long time home since 1970. She is 90 years old and is still cooking and cleaning by herself. His brother who lives in the same area does take her grocery shopping and to the doctor since she never learned to drive.

Like you said, you never know what the future holds, but you can have a plan in place to help you feel secure.


Life is a great big canvas...throw all the paint on it you can.
Danny Kaye
 
Posts: 7558 | Location: Central Florida | Registered: Feb 12, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of lady of shallot
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quote:
With all that being said, DH and I are both in our 50's. He has always planned for the future and has everything in place financially, if we need it. The master suite will be a small apartment in itself with a morning kitchen and office.


Oh if only more of us had the smarts to do this! But then we wouldn't be who we are! LOL My DH has zero sense of money and while I'm slightly better I am not better enough to have made a difference in our lifestyle. I mean I can keep us out of debt and no payments other than utilities. But that is not long term money and income that grows as the cost of living grows.
 
Posts: 13008 | Registered: Jun 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Charming
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An example of how we are all different. I have no desire to live here long past my ability to enjoy it.

Unless there is complete financial disaster we are okay money wise. I am not the family money manager - thank goodness for DH. We have many choices on how to spend our "golden" years.

My idea of moving into assisted living is a small ocean front condo in an elevator building. I don't have children and I never ever considered living with them and having to be dependent on them if I did.

I have friends who live in two of the senior communities near us and they have wonderful amenities and a great plan - independent living, to assisted living to nursing. Works for me. Of course, with all the insanity going on in some parts of the country - ex-pat in the Caribbean is also starting to sound good.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Charming,


Fun and Info
 
Posts: 3603 | Location: Coastal SC | Registered: Jan 10, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Grapefruit
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We have lived in our house for 28 years...we had it built for us. We love it and cannot imagine ever having to leave...alive Wink

However, our kids will never be living near us, and I suspect that if we are alive for many more years, they will pressure us to move closer to them! That means leaving our small town for a metropolitan area...ugh!
 
Posts: 3239 | Location: central PA | Registered: Jan 08, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of pinecone476
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Interesting read. We are *just* finishing on clearing the things out of my parents' home. 3 bedroom ranch with tons of storage and a seperate garage with workshop and Dad built a Morton building when he moved in for his woodworking hobby. He was a man of many interests.
Our home built c1850 has been in the family for at least 80 years and 6 generations have slept here. I would like a one story at some point like my parents had after seeing how it enabled Dad to remain there at the age of 90. I tell the kids I'll sell out and live in a yert to make it easier for them to settle my estate.

piney

This message has been edited. Last edited by: pinecone476,
 
Posts: 3232 | Location: New England, U.S.A. | Registered: May 21, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Pinecone476, my sympathies to you for your loss.

We will have been in this house for ten years this autumn. I've never lived anywhere for that long and it feels great to be so settled. I suspect, though, that we will downsize once my parents no longer visit us. We bought this house with their visits in mind and don't need this much space (or maintenance expense) for ourselves. I'd also like to be in a location that would allow me to walk to a grocery store.
 
Posts: 2027 | Registered: Aug 12, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of pinecone476
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Thanks Gracie, it is a walk we will all make at some point. I was blessed to have great parents but they left big shoes to fill. One thing I kept (of many) was the trundle bed. If/when we move it would be nice to have a quasi guestroom/den. I will need a sewing/quilting/craft room though with a door that closes to hide my mess.

piney
 
Posts: 3232 | Location: New England, U.S.A. | Registered: May 21, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of KeepYouInStitches
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I failed to mention - when we purchased our two-year old home we were pleased to find that the home had been built with some handicap accommodating features. For some reason though the higher "handicapped" toilet is in the guest bath not the master. The master does not have the "kiddie" toilet 12" from the floor, but it is lower than the other. On the other hand, the guest bath has a narrow bathroom door while the master bath has the wider door. I would say that they got it confused in installation, but the colors are different too. Guest bath is off-white...master bath is white.

The master bath has a jetted tub and a step in shower too.

It's a mind bogglin' thang! Wink

My suggestion to ANYONE young or old who are building or remodeling to go ahead with the handicap accommodating features.
 
Posts: 17313 | Location: Daingerfield, TX | Registered: Feb 07, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of zone9alady
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quote:
Originally posted by KeepYouInStitches:
.........My suggestion to ANYONE young or old who are building or remodeling to go ahead with the handicap accommodating features.


That's exactly what we are planning for in our master suite. Wheelchair accessible shower, toilets and shower with safety bars and one high sink vanity and one low sink.


Life is a great big canvas...throw all the paint on it you can.
Danny Kaye
 
Posts: 7558 | Location: Central Florida | Registered: Feb 12, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Spanish Revival
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When we built our house my husband was adamant about a one story... saying one day (hopefully) we will get old and navigating stairs will be difficult. And now I can see that with my Mother who has a terrible time just getting in the shower.

When you're young, you don't think about the older years, but if you're lucky, they will come upon you.
 
Posts: 1002 | Location: Florida | Registered: Aug 22, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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We saved all our life but lost it with all the other people of our age lost their savings too. SO my DH is working 3 to 4 days a week at age 77! on the +side-it keeps his mind sharp but on the - side it makes his nerves shot to H!
We moved into this house (built about 1850 I searched the deed) and know it's history (was a lumber mill) we moved in --in 1976.

WE know this house is too big but my DH put in the fireplace that heats the front of the house, my DH put in so many things and so many memories that I would hate to more--however I told my husband that the ONLY thing that's important is that we're together and where it is doesn't matter so much as being together.
Our one daughter is very loving but small house & her DH isn't the brightest bulb (but would give the shirt off his back)--other daughter is super smart we share tons of interest (including her daughter, our granddaughter and light in our world) BUT her home has mold/mildew and is very damp-they say no it isn't but I have light asthma and know my check closes up when I go into their home for over 1hr. SO that would be out.

We put in gardens all over the place and our heart is here and always will be.

We have 4 acres and I don't know how long we'll be able to maintain it. THAT scares me too, on top of money worries and health worries (I have macular degeneration)

Also another worry is my hubby is a hoarder and won't throw anything out unless he tries to sell it on ebay and that takes too long to ever catch up and clean out all the boxes of STUFF! I can't get him to throw things out! THAT also worries me.
 
Posts: 1720 | Location: Allentown PA USA | Registered: Oct 03, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of lady of shallot
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quote:
but lost it with all the other people of our age lost their savings too.


Why did you lose your savings? Do you mean investment income?

If your husband has a lot of things and they are of any good quality, why not have a yard sale? That will clean things out and you will get some money. People love yard sales and will cart off a lot of stuff. Esp if you have a garage or barn and can take your time setting up, it is a worthwhile endeavor.
 
Posts: 13008 | Registered: Jun 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Indexlady
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MarcyDaisy, we were also among those who lost. The Husband is 78 and works full time plus a lot of overtime as a mail carrier. Many laws have been enacted since then to protect it happening to others, but those laws do nothing for us to whom it happened. Sadly. Hang in there!!
 
Posts: 4592 | Location: In the beautiful Tennessee Valley, between the Cumberland Plateau and the Great Smoky Mountains. | Registered: Jul 12, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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