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Do you spend every day keeping up your house? Inside? Outside?

A couple hours a day to maintain things.

Thanks, cocok, I just wondered because it seems that I just never catch up on everything that needs to be done - much less things I would LIKE to get done!

Myself, I spend at least two hours in the kitchen between cooking meals, doing dishes and keeping the counters clean, another hour or so making beds and picking up the bedrooms plus doing the laundry and cleaning the bathrooms - add in another hour or so while I vacuum/scoop litter boxes/dust... and I'm retired!

And still my house doesn't look the way I would like! Not asking for solutions here or systems - just wondering what everyone else in the "real world" does ???

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Idaho Resident,

I'm not sure -- perhaps a couple of hours at the most. I swiffer upstairs and clean that bath before I go downstairs in the morning. Once downstairs I pick up and vacuum (but just the "paths" and where my DH sits and nibbles and "crumbs" at night) and clean the coffee table (which is glass and he's never been a coaster person -- which is why we have glass and marble topped tables by where he sits -- otherwise a lot of white rings) Clean the kitchen after breakfast, after lunch and after dinner and sweep and mop the kitchen after dinner.

Once a week (usually on Monday), I move furniture and really vacuum and dust everything both up and down and give the baths a good cleaning. That's a most of the day project.

But I love keeping house and doing all of those chores -- it's not chores to me, it's fun!

Martha

I spend maybe an hour most week days and most of that time is related to kitchen clean-up. I do the longer tasks on the weekend like laundry, vacuuming, mopping, dusting, ironing, etc.

Wow!! I know ya'll have bigger houses than I do but still that seems like a lot of time to clean. I do not count cooking as part of the cleaning process but still I must be an awful slop or very fast.

Takes 5 minutes to make bed and there is nothing to clean up. Laundry (when I do it instead of DH) is 5 minutes to load, 5 minutes to transfer and maybe 10 minutes to fold. 10 minutes for a bath clean-up.

My most time consuming chore is vacuuming but that is because my back only allows me to do it in short spurts. That is why most of the floors are hard surface that take only a few minutes to swiffer a few times a week.

If I spent 2 hours a day cleaning I would rather go back to work!!!

I vac once a week and then dust. clean any glass tables mirrors etc. once a week and I wash white wash once a week towels once a week and dark clothes once a week. I hang out the clothes and run the dryer to fluff the towels only.The outside cleaning does make me crazy in this heat. But I do clean the lanai once every 2 weeks.

I would say it could be measured in minutes, not hours. Most weekdays I spend an hour doing laundry and ironing and maybe also just putzing around in the basement, organizing my many possessions.

When I prepare a meal I clean the counters and put things away. DH does dinner clean up of dishes, we both load dw during the day and we each get our own breakfast (he makes coffee) We each make and change our own beds. It must take me 5 min or less to make my bed.

Otherwise it is as the spirit moves me. I am not at all organized and I was just thinking about how much I love being that way. Grateful that my life style does not dictate following anyone else's rules, only my own.

When I say I am not organized I mean in approaching household chores. I am very organized in my storage and such areas (although it may not look that way to others.)

Yesterday I opened a small trunk in the attic and it gave me pleasure to see how neat and clean and crisp its contents were, sheets and such for the attic beds.

Unlike Martha I do not like to clean esp routine tasks. I only like to do odd jobs (like today I washed a corner shelf and its contents.)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: lady of shallot,

Probably an hour a day. Just 2 of us here and DH is pretty neat. I do a little everyday. Vacuum and swiffer tile everyday. We have several dogs, so most my cleaning is dog hair. I also wipe down our bathroom counter everyday. I love a clean bathroom! Outside, we pick up dog and horse poop daily.

I'd say a couple of hours a day. Like janetaz...chasing dog hair on a daily basis.

Metwo, 2 hours, but spread out during the day. Clean up after breakfast, then lunch, then dinner, dishes, vac every other day, dust every 3-4 days, feed and pick up dog do-do twice a day. Wash/fold clothes every other day, clean bathrooms once a week. I think it averages out to two hours a day.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: zone9alady,

Well, metwo, don't feel bad. I must be like you. Just DH and me, and no pets now, so not much mess. Not even 5 minutes to make the bed. No picking up to do because we don't leave stuff all over. I wipe bathroom counter as part of my routine. Breakfast and lunch are on our own, with loading the DW. I cook dinner and DH cleans up. Sweeping/vacuuming the hard surfaces as needed. Laundry once a week usually.

I'll also admit that I have a housekeeper who makes life a lot easier. I've always detested housekeeping.

LOL Not near enough! But there's so much other good stuff to do! It's just DH and me...no pets here either. If a bed gets made in the morning, it's when I can't sleep with DH because of his snoring or either his or mine tossing and turning. I go to the other bed. When I get up in the morning, I make it. DH is still in bed when I leave for work. His side of the covers are still tossed to one side.

After doing makeup, I clean the sink and vanity just about every morning. Prepare and eat my breakfast which can consist of cooked oatmeal, cereal, bacon and eggs, or an omelet depending on my mood. I clean up my mess. Then go to work.

After supper, I clean the kitchen. Might do a load of laundry. I hit or miss with the dusting and floor sweeping throughout the week. I generally run the dust mop and vacuum over the weekend when DH steps out of the house.

I squeegee the tub after each shower. But climb in the master bath shower every week or so to clean it. (DH and I were having shower wars so I finally abandoned the master shower to step across the hall. It worked. I shower at night...he showers in the morning. I want the shower door open to aid in air circulation and mold preventative. He wants the door closed. Since I stopped showering in there, the shower can now dry -even with the door closed- and there's no more mold! - One less scrubbing job.)

Thanks for all of the responses, everyone! Think it is interesting to read how everyone else does things - although I've realized that I posted more time than any one else! I must be slow or something!

Note to self - move faster!

I guess some of the things that take so much time and effort are ones I didn't really describe: washing the windows, cleaning the refrigerator and stove, the "gunk" that accumulates in window/outside sliding door railings, blinds and window treatments, woodwork and wood throughout the house that needs polishing every so often ("swiffing" doesn't polish at all), cabinet/drawer clean-up, lampshade/art frames and it goes on and on...

So it seems like 2 hours a day is a common response - some are one hour or under - and I am the worst at about 4 hours...

Keep posting all - I am finding this a fun topic!

Probably 2 hours a day.I have a gardener for the outside so i don't need to maintain that myself.

quote:

Originally posted by Florida Farm Girl:

I'll also admit that I have a housekeeper who makes life a lot easier. I've always detested housekeeping.

AAAAHA! You're cheating! LOL!

Cheating though it may be, I'm not about to give her up and I'd highly recommend anyone hire one if they can afford to do so. I do all the things I mentioned and others to try to keep the place in order, but she does the heavy cleaning every two weeks.

quote:

blinds and window treatments, woodwork and wood throughout the house that needs polishing every so often

Idaho Resident. In the spring I took an 8 week course called "Saving Stuff" it was about the care necessary to preserve museum quality furnishings/art/fabric/papers/skins/leather etc. etc.

The conclusion to all that instruction was that less done better. You should never spray or wax your furniture, in fact sprays or oils of any kind (like cedar chests) are bad for possessions. Maybe sometime when you are in a library or bookstore you could glance through the book we used as a guide. I am a very relaxed house keeper. But I would not count cooking time as "house work" or I would have done about 4 hours of housework today!

I only count dusting, vacuuming (which I don't do, DH does) washing floors, etc. Windows IMHO are only done twice a year (if they are lucky) tracks are cleaned out then. Why do bathrooms need to be cleaned every day? Are there small boys in the household, otherwise, why?

What is to be picked up in bedrooms other than your own things?

I sometimes have watched a reality show called the Hutterites. I am amazed at the amount of housekeeping those girls/women do; most of it IMHO totally unnecessary! Plus their domestic environments are so unattractive; again IMHO. So cleaning isn't always the answer.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: lady of shallot,

Oh goodness - I must be a slob - I know I spend much less time doing stuff than most of y'all do. Probably do laundry (3 loads a week, including sheets) once a week, make my bed which takes less than 5 minutes - pick stuff up daily - maybe another 30 minutes. Actual cleaning is maybe once a week where I'll vacumn, dust, etc. I'm the only one I have to worry about, so it's easier. I cook if I want to, or nibble if I'm not really hungry. And, I agree with whoever said that about a cleaning lady - the moment I can afford one I will be doing the happy dance! I hate - really really hate housework only slightly less than I hate yardwork (I do have a yard service).

LOS, Totally agree with you about not over-doing the "things" and taking care of them but I have already stripped down the personal things to a bare minimum (have to admit that I put a lot of things in storage when we moved here) so the work described is really just for the minimum up-keep.

Windows, for example. I could never get away with only cleaning them twice a year and/or their tracking rails! But we live out in the country with gravel/dirt roads which equals lots of dust - plus some pretty intense weather year round - so they and the blinds need cleaning at least every other month. Of course, half of our house is glass which gives us beautiful views - 365/7 so it is worth it.

Now, a lot of the "everyday" work is created by having six in-door only cats - fur and litter boxes and just general clutter - but they make life worth living so I don't be-grudge them a moment of the the work they require. Bathrooms? Hard water here despite a dual filter system plus soft water conditioner so each one needs cleaned at least once a week to prevent build-up - and there are four of them.

I was really counting in all of the other work to be done when I estimated the time in the bedrooms, etc. I noticed many of you only counted time spent "spiffing" up everyday - I guess I was adding in deep cleaning like refrigerators, ovens, stoves, under-cabinets, drawers, behind washer/dryer and such that I like to keep up with since it seems that I'm never really up for a hard-core cleaning experience. Have I told you that I'm a bit lazy? I can do an hour or two - here and there - but a full day of cleaning - NOT!

Have to say that when I estimated 4 hours a day, I forgot to say that I take weekends off! So does that make it sound more reasonable?

I do love the idea of a housekeeper to do some of the heavy cleaning twice a month, monthly or whenever and would really appreciate knowing what something like that might cost if those of you who have or have had the same are willing to share that information. Think I'm ready for it!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Idaho Resident,

quote:

Originally posted by Idaho Resident:

I was really counting in all of the other work to be done when I estimated the time in the bedrooms, etc. I noticed many of you only counted time spent "spiffing" up everyday - I guess I was adding in deep cleaning like refrigerators, ovens, stoves, under-cabinets, drawers, behind washer/dryer and such that I like to keep up with since it seems that I'm never really up for a hard-core cleaning experience. Have I told you that I'm a bit lazy? I can do an hour or two - here and there - but a full day of cleaning - NOT!

Have to say that when I estimated 4 hours a day, I forgot to say that I take weekends off! So does that make it sound more reasonable?

You are NOT lazy in any way, shape or form. I spent my younger life being told I was "lazy" simply because I could always find more exciting things to do than clean. Yes, I like a clean house and my house is in no way even remotely approaching "call in the health department" status but I really really hate housework and do the bare minimum, usually. On the other hand, I run my own Interior Decorating business and will spend MANY hours at a time shopping, moving furniture around for them, schleping flooring samples, etc etc etc. So, unless you're just sitting around eating bon-bons, reading trashing novels 24/7 you are NOT lazy! (Can you tell anyone saying they're lazy pushes my buttons? )

quote:

Originally posted by Florida Farm Girl:
Cheating though it may be, I'm not about to give her up and I'd highly recommend anyone hire one if they can afford to do so. I do all the things I mentioned and others to try to keep the place in order, but she does the heavy cleaning every two weeks.

Give her up? Oh geez no...If I could find someone not afraid of two big dogs and would do the heavy stuff like you mentioned....that would be awesome. I guess the older I get the more there will be a need for some help around here. I guess in part it's an issue I have with not trusting strangers in the house.

quote:

behind washer/dryer and

Well can you believe I have never once cleaned behind my washer/dryer? However they are in the basement on a cement floor if that makes a difference. Also I can not access either the underneath part or the behind of my refrigerator. Nor can I remove the drawers from my refrig a/c space limitations (this last is a real pain)

6 cats would make a huge difference! Even one would be too much for me!

I am more interested in the different cleaning jobs (washing woodwork etc) than routine cleaning. This morning I noticed that the outside of the back door should really be washed. I am going to get out a bucket tomorrow and do that. That will be fun!

quote:

Originally posted by lady of shallot:

quote:

behind washer/dryer and

I am more interested in the different cleaning jobs (washing woodwork etc) than routine cleaning. This morning I noticed that the outside of the back door should really be washed. I am going to get out a bucket tomorrow and do that. That will be fun!

I can relate LOS. If I had my druthers (LOL not sure if that's a word) I would much rather clean the back door or the screened porch, etc. I guess the monotony of cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming the floors, cleaning the kitchen is why I'd much rather do something else or maybe it's because I sit in an office all week long. Just this morning my DD said the horse stalls and tackroom needed cleaning. She said she'd clean my house if I'd clean the barn!! YES !!

Idaho, the costs are going to be different in different areas, so what I pay probably won't have any reference to what you'd have to pay. But do check around with your friends.

As for having a "stranger" in your house, I found mine by word of mouth. She had been working for my nail tech (when I had one!) for several years and they were delighted with her. Never any problems with her being there alone and cleaning, so I felt much better about hiring her. Most of the time, I'm home when she comes but if I need to be gone, so be it. I call and tell her where the key will be and she lets herself in. I'll leave her money on the cabinet and I have a clean house to come home to.

I'd also be leery of letting just anyone into my house if I wasn't there. In fact, I wouldn't do it.

The daily cleaning is done in spurts-seldom an "all day marathon" of cleaning. Most tasks are done in 15 minutes or less but total daily is about an hour.

Plus DH helps with dishes and does his own laundry. Dson does his own too. .

I used to spend hours on the outside planters and gardening. I've recently hired lawn service and now just play outside. The next thing on the list is to hire someone to help with cleaning. Then who knows what I'll do with all my spare time.

It is a balancing act for sure to find the happy medium and what works for your lifestyle. Good Luck!

Hours? We're supposed to spend hours cleaning? Hmmm, that answers a couple of questions for me. LOL!!

quote:

Originally posted by lady of shallot:

Well can you believe I have never once cleaned behind my washer/dryer? However they are in the basement on a cement floor if that makes a difference.

While I meant this thread to be for fun and not taken seriously, LOS, I just have to post something about your above statement because I simply love your wonderful old Victorian house - I remember it well from your Christmas photographs a few years ago - and would hate to see it catch fire. And, if it doesn't apply to you, maybe others might learn something about a hidden danger they never realized might be lurking in their own home.

If you have never once cleaned behind your dryer, does that mean that you have never cleaned out your dryer vent? If so, a very real fire hazard might be sitting in your basement without you even knowing it. Most dryers have a lint catcher that we all clean out occasionally BUT it doesn't catch all lint and some invariably ends up in the dryer vent; over time the vent can become clogged with lint creating a very dangerous situation. Every year, over 15000 house fires are attributed to dryer vents - I had to Google to get statistics - not something I knew off the top of my mind!

So everyone, check those dryer vents! You might be surprised to find out how much lint is actually in there - I know I was!

Idaho, that was a surprise for me too. That pullout lint trap they build into the dryer only gets about 95% of the lint. The other 5% is blowing out the vent or getting caught up in the dryer frame. We had the vent originally going up through the roof until DH check it after 4 years. It was so clogged we couldn't clear it. So we ran another line to the outside wall. I clean the guard screen about twice a month.

quote:

in

Good point regarding the dryer, my father always told me NEVER leave the house or go to bed with the dryer on. The screen gets cleaned after every load, but how do you actually clean the duct tubing that leads from the dryer to the outside?

Oh, how I wish we could vent our dryer to the outside through the wall!! Ours goes up through the roof and it gets clogged regularly. DH has been climbing up on the roof and opening it up. That's got to come to a halt, cause he can't be up there like before.

Does anybody have one of the inline vent filters? We've been thinking about one but don't find too many of them.

quote:

Originally posted by Spanish Revival: The screen gets cleaned after every load, but how do you actually clean the duct tubing that leads from the dryer to the outside?

Good question, SR! I'm sure it varies with the machines in question and I noticed when goggling that there are a number of sites "how to clean an outside dryer vent" to prevent a house fire so you might want to check those out.

But, for myself, just trial and error which seems to have worked. Bottom line, I un-hooked all hoses and slid the washing machine out far enough to climb behind it so I could reach behind the dryer. Disconnected the vent accordions from the back of the dryer - wow, stand back - and then shook the vent (gently) and started the vacuum with it's attachments to suck out all of the lint!

Re-attached the dryer vent - pretty easy; slid the washing machine back into place and re-attached it's hoses - all done for the year!

Have to say it was an "eye-opener" to see how the lint had accumulated. Glad I took the time to do it - to be honest, it was a bit scarey to see how clogged that vent was...

A good way tell if your vents need cleaning...is it taking longer than usual to dry clothes? Another, place your hand on the metal frame on top or sides of the machine, it should be comfortably warm. If it's really hot then there's a problem.

Our dryer also vents to the roof and it has a huge square of lint in the top of the vent every 2 weeks( thats all that we check.)I also worry about DH climbing on the roof for that. This is really a bad thing because I only do 3-4 washes a week and I only fluff the towels and darkclothes for 10 min. I also clean the dryer trap after each use. Beware all!

quote:

If you have never once cleaned behind your dryer, does that mean that you have never cleaned out your dryer vent? If so, a very real fire hazard might be sitting in your basement without you even knowing it.

This is different. When we moved into this house DH put the dryer vent through where a window pane was in the window over the laundry machines. He just replaced one pane of glass with wood with a hole in it to vent the dryer to outside. And yes we have cleaned that out. In fact we replaced it which is not hard to do and I would recommend it.

Here is where my cleaning stuff is kind of odd. Because the new vent was not the quality of the old one, I cleaned the old one out completely (remember holding it in the shower to get it thoroughly rinsed out) this is so if we need to replace the new one, we will have a better quality unit to use.

By the by. My machines are Maytag and they are at least over 40 years old. The washer is maybe 45 years old. I am faithful about always cleaning the lint trap each time, but knock on wood I have had wonderful service from these appliances.

In the winter we often switch the flap on the vent so the moist air comes back into the basement. There is a sock thing that goes over this vent and that is also cleaned out regularly. I might not do that venting inside this year as the sock thing is just a little high for me now that I am shrinking (LOL but not really!)

Oh, wow, hours per day? It's more like minutes per day. Just put me in the slob category, too!

I just kind of do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. I have house keeping help every two weeks because I just can't do it all with the kids and my work, etc.

But really and truly, I found that spending 1/2 hour/day cleaning/tidying the house made a really big difference in appearance and my overall mood. Oddly, I really just don't understand how the people I live with can trash a clean/tidy house in minutes. Sort of gets frustrating.

I have a cleaning lady (my niece) who comes every other week. She does the kitchen, both bathrooms, vaccuums and dusts. DH is forced to declutter when she is coming.

DH is retired, I work full time (except the summer, i work in a school). So he does the food shopping (added bonus- he can't complain if we're out of something, LOL). He also loads and unloads the dishwasher.

I don't cook a lot, especially recently since I got a new knee in June. He has to put the hamper by the washer for me, and take the clean clothes back to the bedroom, but I wash, dry, sort and put away the laundry.

I don't spend near enough time cleaning. This time of year I spend outside in the garden. I spend 2 hours a week on the weekends cleaning the crisis areas, where there is visible dirt: vacuuming carpet, cleaning toilet, cleaning bathroom mirror. This is not counting laundry and dishes which I do a little each day.

I do keep a cleaner in the shower and do a wall every day or so. So, in one week's time, the shower is clean. The cleaner is 1/2 Dawn dish soap and 1/2 white vinegar. You warm up the vinegar to dissolve all together. It is in a spray bottle and I have a white scotch brite pad in there on a handle. If I clean the front wall today, I clean the right wall tomorrow, the back wall in 2 days and the left wall on day 4. Of course, If I run out of time in the morning, I skip a day and pick up where I left off the day before.

I remove my makeup with a baby wipe at night. After I remove my make up, I use the wet wipe to wipe down the sink and toilet seat.

Well, y'all make me feel like a slob...ha!

We don't have pets now and that makes a hug dif. Also, DH is much more aware of the 'little' things. This came about because of all the times we have been on the housing market.

Idaho Resident, it seems that you sure spend an awful lot of time cleaning! Especially since you posted this right in the middle of summer. Do you have a lot of company that you have to do all that cleaning? Geez Louise, I don't know, but I spend a little time cleaning here, there, wherever. I really don't worry about it and am not a clean freak. I clean more thoroughly if I am expecting company. Otherwise, I certainly don't spend 2 hrs. cleaning the kitchen. I thought you had no children. Children make it dirty!!! I think someone has too much time on their hands and needs to find something more fun to do! Go ballroom dancing, join a gardening club, a book club, a cooking club....DO NOT JOIN A CLEANING CLUB! You are more than welcome to clean my house if you are ever in this neck of the woods however!!! Lunch is on me, anywhere you want. You must be a fantastic cleaner. Bless you!!!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Wavy,

Wavy, Thanks for your response ~ sounds like you have your feet on the ground as do I!

The 2 hours in the kitchen includes 3 meals made from scratch and the clean-up afterwards. I do have to say that I enjoy the cooking so it is worth the time spent "repairing" the kitchen after every meal!

You are right that there are no two-legged children here - just six 4-legged ones inside and three more outside ~ but wrong that I need more outside interests! I have more than enough now which caused me to post this thread - just wondered how everyone else handled the nitty-gritty chores and how much time they spent doing them?

PS. You are out of luck re me cleaning your house but I'll take you up on that lunch - really? I have very expensive tastes...

It really depends for me, we have 5 children, Yikes!, but they are out of the house, one dog that weighs only 5 pounds and he doesn't shed. But I do keep on top of everything everyday because it gives me an enormous amount of pleasure to sit back and look at what I perceive as the beauty of my home. We too have almost all glass walls/doors, 6 sliding glass doors that are 10 feet wide each and 10 feet high. No matter how dry the weather is I'll say to my husband, "I think I'm going to clean the windows" and not once, in 20 years has it failed to rain that afternoon even though there was no rain in the forecast! Our kids tell me I have a little OCD when it comes to cleaning and making things look "perfect", even if it's only in my eyes. Holidays are a different story, I once stated we usually have 15 to 18 people staying with us at Christmas and or Thanksgiving. Some day's it's a losing battle but the memories of a full house is so worth crumbs on the floor, and dirty counters, and the kitchen open 24/7 though everyone does help out in many ways. But on a day to day basis I am very blessed, I have a cleaning lady at least 1 or 2 times a week even though it's just my husband and myself but I look at it this way: we are employing someone who may not be able to feed their children otherwise, we have a lawn maintenance service and we also help to pay their bills, pool maintenance, insect spraying, and a company to make sure all the grasses and foliage are fertilized. I know it sounds that a lot of our income goes out to a lot of other people to help maintain our home, but we are also providing an income to many who did not have the ability or inclination to go to college. I might be criticized for this but I think if any of those employees would begrudge us they would expound with a great big NO, for they have a pay check at the end of the month, and we are happy to be able to help others. But to answer the original question, I spend about 1/2 hour or so actually cleaning, making the bed and straightening the bathroom since we are only the 2 of us now. I do make my husband a fresh and healthy breakfast before he goes of to work at 7:30 in the morning and he comes home everyday to a beautiful lunch that I make for him and clean up. Dinner is almost always homemade but I do have to admit sometimes we order in or just go out but that is mostly on the weekends. And I'd like to add, we sit with eachother and enjoy each and every meal together.

I'm just dying to know how many nannies, housekeepers and chauffeurs you had to take care of your five children when they were growing up. I know you didn't take care of them yourself. How hard is it to fertilize plants? You don't even enjoy gardening? I love fertilizing flowers myself and watching them grow.

quote:

Originally posted by Wavy:
I'm just dying to know how many nannies, housekeepers and chauffeurs you had to take care of your five children when they were growing up. I know you didn't take care of them yourself. How hard is it to fertilize plants? You don't even enjoy gardening? I love fertilizing flowers myself and watching them grow.

Ha! That's funny, I was actually just waiting to see who was going to write what... what's the reason you feel you have to react that way to my honest answer? But to indulge you, Wavy, I took care of all my children all by myself, and of course my husband!! Took them to school, was homeroom mother, went on all the field trips and helped them study spelling words and study for tests. In fact I was the Mom that picked up other kids when their moms couldn't. I was also an ER nurse, and a school nurse. Now, I have a question for you, Wavy, how do you KNOW I didn't take care of my children myself? As far as fertilizing my yard, nope, I don't, in fact I just never liked gardening, I'd rather play at the park with my kids!, and that's exactly what I did. I must have done something right because all five of them would rather spend their holidays in our home than any other, and I can tell you one thing, it's not because I spent time fertilizing my plants and watching my flowers grow, I watched my kids grow instead. As I said, we provided paychecks to many people that might not be able to buy school supplies or worse yet, food, so why hate? More importantly, why the animosity towards someone you don't even know? Of course you won't answer my questions, but they are food for thought. And, apparently for you, "Good is Never Good enough".

I'm not a hater and I'm sure I'm just the one that said what others were probably thinking. Since you said you didn't like to clean, what was the likelihood that you cleaned up after 5 children by yourself? I doubt it, and you know what, I don't care. You're absolutely, 100% right. I don't know you, it was none of my business and I'm sorry. I'm tired now and so not in the mood to make dinner. (I hate cooking!) Obviously we are just very different. I hated staying home with my daughter. I was very depressed and lonely. I was happier working. Have a nice day and enjoy your children!

Time out Wavy. There are many many ways of parenting, keeping a house, yard work, etc and there is no one correct way to do it all. From what she wrote, Spanish worked out of the home as well as raising 5 kids and I'm sure she did clean up after her kids-one can't leave all the mess to a cleaning person. Cooking for 7 people on a daily basis is no small chore either. However that's what she chose and likewise, what you did is the best for you. This is a personal aside, but I really felt bad that you didn't enjoy being Being home with your daughter as I think raising children is one of the most rewarding things I did in this world. My success In my career didn't mean near as much a raising my children.

Thank you Mamaspoon and you're right. There are many ways of parenting.
I was home with my daughter for 7 yrs. before I went back to work. But I had moved to a new state and I knew nobody. I don't make friends that easily and tend to keep to myself which kept me lonely. I couldn't help the way I felt, it was what it was. But I was lucky. My daughter was always very bright and the best child a mother could want. I was very fortunate. I just didn't like the playground yrs. I hated staying hrs. in the playground. Where I lived there was mostly nannies watching the kids and they tended to stay together. It was like a clique sort of (foreign nannies who all knew each other and I just moved there). I'm much better now. My DD is in college on a full scholarship and I love her to death.
Yes, you are right. Spanish deserves a medal for raising 5 wonderful children and cooking for them, to boot!!! (

This is going to be my last post on this subject, and please understand, it's not geared toward any one in particular.

When you're parents of seven beautiful children you think things will remain the same forever... you never envision anything but watching them grow, play, graduate, marry and hopefully be b l e s s e d one day with children of their own. You never fathom that one of your children will be suddenly taken from you at the hands of a drunk driver, and one day you will have to stand there and watch a little pink casket get lowered into the ground, never to touch, hold, hug or kiss that angel, ever again. And then, within the next year and a half you never imagine that will have to stand at that same g r a v e site for a second time and watch a little blue casket be lowered into the ground because of the same exact circumstances as the first. My husband and I have holes in our hearts that will never go away, and for us to make things better for our remaining children we spent all our time with them giving them memories of happiness coupled with the memories of loosing a sister and then a brother, both under the age of 8. I don't deserve a medal for cooking a dinner for anyone, in fact I don't deserve a medal for anything, I was just a Mom trying to hang on and keep it together. I have come to the realization that I still don't know what tomorrow holds or next week, or even one hour from now, we're not immune to more tragedy and my husband and I know it, that is why we "fertilized" our remaining children with our love and our time, and will do so till the end of our time.

Now, lets get back to making this a fun thread again.

Dear Spanish Revival my heartfelt sympathies to you for your unimaginable losses.

Truly unimaginable. I have always thought the worse thing in life would be to lose a child but to lose two as you have done is epic tragedy.

I hope your other children and grandchildren if you have any, can help to heal the terrible holes in your heart, but I know you will never forget what could have been and what you once had.

These threads can sometimes spin out of control with seemingly no reason nor rationale to them. I hope at the very least that this is a caution to all those who would let a momentary irritation or bad day inflict senseless pain on an innocent person.

BTW my mother was also a nurse and the mother of 6 children, 5 of whom were girls. She sewed all of our clothes and cooked three meals a day for many, many years. She also did all the housework. She was spared driving us places because in that time, kids walked to school and did not have after school activities except to play in the neighborhood.

Spanish REvival, I am giving you a big hug now and wish I could hold you in my arms.

I could never begin to feel your pain and heartbreak- I had tears in my eyes as I read your post. After such loss and devastation your choices of being with your surviving children and making happy memories and keeping them together is the only logical choice you could make. Another reason we all should enjoy and treasure each day because we never know what the next day may bring. Blessings

Okay, as the OP of this thread, I feel somewhat responsible that it has gone awry...

I only meant to post a fun topic to liven up the boards and never anticipated that it would cause such responses as have recently been posted. But, I think it is good, why? Because this is a safe place for many people (mostly women) to go with thoughts and concerns in their everyday lives so I appreciate all who have responded here.

I think many of us need an outlet such as the one this board provides and hope that everyone feels the same - I think it is true for both Wavy and Spanish Revival and don't believe they meant to get into a dispute = both are valuable contributors that I hope continue to contribute in the future....

So, back to the topic at hand, am I still the only one who spends 4 hours a day trying to keep up?

PS. I am so loving the fact that you all are letting me off the hook for not worrying about cleaning and just enjoying life instead. Thanks!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Idaho Resident,