I read somewhere that a 90 year old said her best gift was a 10 year diary!!!
I would say things she likes but won't buy for herself -- we used to get husband's mother a "care package" of all kinds of neat foods that she wouldn't ever buy for herself (which included hamburger helper which she really loved but thought it too expensive -- she always bought cheap cookies so we always included a couple of package of pepperridge farm cookies). You get the gist.
The gift of time from family and friends is what 90 somethings most cherish. I know because my mother just turned 94. It may sound trite or a no brainer or even a thoughtless cop out to some, but it's truly what they desire. Socializing, sharing family stories, reading a book to them, buying a cd of their favorite music, cooking their favorite meal (w/ their specific diet concerns addressed) or playing cards or a game, if it's within their capability...even running errands or doing a chore for them or taking them on a drive/outting are all some simple things we younger folks take for granted, but is special to older folks of her generation. Of course, logistics, weather, her living conditions and her health (mental and physical) should be considerations too.
If you still prefer a material gift, then see what she needs..a new robe or slippers, some lotion for her dry skin, a large print book that she'd be interested in, a certificate and promise to drive her to a salon to get a perm, her favorite homemade treat, and/or flowers are always well received.
This link is a neat idea as it will produce a time capsule of her birth date and could be included in a large print Birthday card: http://dmarie.com/timecap/This message has been edited. Last edited by: Froo Froo,
Posts: 16754 | Location: Right here, duh! ;) | Registered: Nov 03, 2005
My parents are in their 80s and they definitely don't want gifts on any occasion but what they do love is chocolate and sweets. So I give them a box of various chocolates that are made in Alaska which I know they like. They have a piece of chocolate every night after supper. If you know she has a sweet tooth, you could get her some chocolates but make sure they are not too chewy or hard (don't want her to break her teeth!)
Posts: 3050 | Location: Anchorage, AK USA | Registered: Feb 28, 2004
How about one of those plug in photo albums? Looks like a photo frame, but you upload many pics. Got one for my mom a few years ago, I had our family (her siblings) let me borrow and scan their photos and so it was a lot of photos she hadn't seen in a long time or had never seen.
Posts: 11 | Location: California | Registered: Oct 03, 2012
One thing that means a lot to older folks is family memories. Memory albums, like Postpone mentioned would be special. You can put together an album or a set of albums (a large one would be too heavy)She may prefer that over a electronic one. At this age, family memories are more important than most other things.
Here is an idea that was done for my husbands aunt and uncles anniversary party. They put together a photo calendar. Each of their siblings was asked to send a family pic. You can also have memory books made up. You can find them on the web or Walmart or costco may do them up as well. You could ask each family to send a pic and tell a little story about the pic or their time with her or how much she means to them, write a poem, etc. She would absolutely love this. They love to know that they meant something in the lives of their loved ones. Shutterfly does books so you can check this link out.
My elderly neighbor loved homemade pickles, jams, cookies, etc. I would make her up a basket with all of these goodies. If you have any farmers markets they are great places for homemade jams and pickled items.
Another thing my elderly neighbor liked was goats milk products, so sometimes I'd put together a basket of that as well or any type of soaps and lotions she used.
****Look at objects not only for what they are, but for what they could be, vg****
The gift of time from family and friends is what 90 somethings most cherish
This is the best if you can do it.
The photo thing is really wonderful. DD gave us one for last Xmas and at first I thought I would never like it. She uploaded tons of pics and I keep it on the table near my chair. Can't see it from there but only in passing through the room. Since the photos cover so many years it really delights me to "come upon" them.
A "gift" your aunt could give you would be for someone to ask her (with their help and maybe you could do this by phone) to record memories of her youth and growing up. My DSIL did this with her mother and we listened to it in the car on the long drive to her funeral. It was wonderful, there are so many things that are totally lost from one generation to the next and it is a way of learning more personally about life in the "olden" days. Also it might be nice for an aged person to do something for others, to make them realize they are still relevant.
What about going to the dollar store and picking out a BIG selection of cards: birthday, sympathy, get well, thinking of you, etc.
Accompanying this could be a package of ink pens and definitely a roll of stamps. Hard for older people to get to the post office to buy them AND expensive.
Whatever you end up getting her, make sure it is something that will be consumed or used up. Older people don't need any more "stuff" around::::::laughing::::::::
omg, you guys! You all had some great ideas. I love the basket of goodies idea, the pictures idea, etc. It won't be til the middle of November, so I have some time to work on these. Thank you all so much!!!
Posts: 4237 | Location: Minnesota | Registered: Dec 01, 2003
I would suggest two things - money and time. I have an aunt that's 92 a appreciates gifts of money as she lives on a fixed income and the extra money aids her in purchasing medications etc.
As for time, we all are so busy and it seems it's hardest to find or take the time to spend with loved ones. I also regulary visit nursing homes and find the residents starving for someone to just spend a little time sharing with them.
Thanks for the post.
Posts: 343 | Location: Tennessee | Registered: Feb 08, 2007
For those of you who have not directly cared for elderly people, please be aware that getting toenails cut is often a problem. In the nursing home, they have a podiatrist cut them. Takes about 5 minutes and the charge to Medicare is $80.
The gift of time from family and friends is what 90 somethings most cherish. I know because my mother just turned 94.
I emphatically agree! My favorite Aunt just celebrated her 94th birthday too - her granddaughter hosted ladies only family get together & served brunch. Tomorrow, I'm taking her to see the community where she lived as a bride, and to record her memories.
Ditto for me, when my adult kids ask what I want - quality time without distractions (turn off the &^%#@$%& iPhone!) Share opinions about equally important topics. and, when my perspective makes them nuts they can escape into the yard to pull weeds, prune trees, plant seaonal flowers; clean the gutters!
The best gift is NOT more useless stuff! I urge you to call, ask questions & truely listen: followed by a handwritten letter and photos of you & family.This message has been edited. Last edited by: tessa89,
Posts: 5016 | Location: NE of S.F. | Registered: Apr 13, 2006
