There is something that really bugs me about myself -- and you may have the same affliction. I love my little home and I love the colors I've chosen throughout -- a classic combo of red, white and black. But, whenever I go into a friend's home that is tastefully decorated, although a different style than my own, I sometimes feel that I should have gone in another direction when decorating. That is, I'll love something about their style or decor that I wish I'd incorporated into mine. In other words, it makes me have doubts about my own decorating choices or style. It makes me sometimes wish I could start over again with a blank slate, and re-think the decisions I've made. Why am I like this -- or why are you like this? Is this a common malady for decorators? What is the remedy?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: SweetHomeAL,

Sorry for the confusing topic line. I meant to say, "Why Am I (We) Like That?"

I sometimes feel that way while I'm at a friend's house. However, when I get home, I look around and think "I like my house!" I guess most of us are always trying to second guess our choices.
My style and color choices have changed a lot over the years.

I know that I just like waaay too many colors and styles so whenever I see other styles/colors I sometimes think I should change everything. However I also know it takes too much time, effort, and money to do that too often. Overall I'm quite content to "play" with my house and change things in small ways so it doesn't look the same all the time.

BTW you can edit the title of your thread by clicking on the little pencil/eraser sign in the lower right corner of your first post.

I'm glad I'm not alone, grankathy. A forum member told me recently that I should never second-guess myself. It's easy to say that but it's difficult to adhere to this advice. Whenever I see a home that is beautifully decorated, it makes me want to change what I have, for some reason. It's the same feeling I have when I order something at a restaurant and then someone else orders, and their choices sound more appealing.

Thanks for the editing tip, joyluck. And, I agree, it's too expensive to change things just because you see something you feel is better. I consider my decorating personality to be eclectic, so perhaps this is why the fascination with the "road not taken" causes me so much anguish. I want the look I have but I want the look someone else has too!

I'm the same way. I was hoping someone had posted the remedy!! Annie

Well, all I can say is that we all must be Gemini! LOL I always blame my wishy-washiness on those twins.

NO NO, never second guess yourself.

I never do that, but I know a lot of people who do. One time, back when I was just out of design school, one of our firm's long-term clients came in to look at fabrics for a pair of sofas for her new house on a day when her regular designer wasn't in. I didn't know her, her house, or even recognize her name, but I figured I could at least help narrow down the fabric choices while Phyllis was out.

So we had a big stack of samples of floral chintzes sitting on the table between us, and she moved them back-&-forth, from one pile to another, but none of the fabrics she sort of liked, as pretty as they were, seemed to relate to anything else she had dragged over to the big work table. I was getting confused. But I wasn't the only one.

"I just can't make up my mnd about what I want!" she said. "Oh, I think I know, but then as soon as I just one look figured out then I see something else at a friend's house, or in a movie or a store that that looks better to me, and then I can't think about anything but going with that style instead & I worry that I made a terrible mistake choosing what I already have. Oh, I get so confused!"

I looked at the photos she had brought in of her current living room and there wasn't a single thing wrong with it. In fact, it was beautiful, and almost new. Not only that, she had been the first person in town to use a particularly striking & attractive fabric, which meant that we couldn't sell it to anybody else. Still, even with a pretty living room, one that nonbe of her freinds could easily copy, she seemed unhappy & indecisive.

I tried to make an analogy. "Well, it's like a woman can be happily married & still notice that other men besides her husbnad are good looking, but she still has to make a real choice at some point. I mean, what would happen if she chased after every good looking guy that came along?"

She busted out laughing, patted my hand lying on the pile of fabrics & said, "Well, honey, what would happen is exactly what DID happen. I'd have just married husband number FOUR! And I'm ALREADY looking around!"

This message has been edited. Last edited by: MAGNAVERDE,

That is so funny, Mag. Thank you for responding to my post. You always know what to say. By the way, can you guess who the forum member was who gave me the advice about not second-guessing myself? LOL A wise person, that forum member.

I'm soooo glad to hear that i'm not alone with my erratic decorating behavior--HA!

I second guess until I have the room completed. Once I have the room 90% done I don't second guess it even if I go to friends homes and find things I love about them I leave it there and don't think about changing what I have. Now if my room isn't done then yes I will see photos or go to peoples homes and keep changing my mind on how I want to decorate the room. When I was renovating my dining room I wanted this curio thing really bad (ended up having a problem w/the company and told them to cancel my order... I didn't get bummed out because what my mom used to say is so true, "Something better will come along" and sure enough it did, my Palladian mirror! Now when I look at my dining room I think wow I'm so happy I didn't' get that curio I love my mirror 100 times more. My office on the other hand looks like a junk room I can't stand to be in here, I haven't done anything to it except paint it and now every other day I'm changing my mind on what I want after looking at other peoples offices lol!

I don't feel that I second guess myself, but I love fabric, patterns, and color so much that I just wish I had more rooms to play with.

Thank goodness I can get some of my desires out by just making a new window treatment or pillow. I also like to swap accessories from room to room and am amazed at what a difference that can make.

SweetHomeAL, our homes sound like they are in very similar settings!

SweethomeAL, I think it's worse with us Gemini's than anybody else. I guess we just have to live with it BTW, it's good to see you are still on board!!!

Here's a Gemini that doesn't exactly do that (envy others choices and wish they were mine) Everyone has a different inclination, a different housing style, a different budget, so many variables that unless you all have cookie cutter homes, one couldn't easily switch back and forth. Which does not mean that individual elements could not be admired and maybe worked into your own design. I too love fabrics and color. Once had a designer friend who used to give me her samples from Boston's design center. I literally used to spend hours poring over these. But aside from actually using them to make pillows, they never made me regret that I could not spend the $90 or $100 a yard they cost to make up in any other way. Being a Gemini is difficult enough in completing any one task without wishing others upon ourselves!

I think it's just that you're in your house everyday and you've gotten sooooo accustomed to what's there. Then you go to a friend's house and it looks so fresh because you're not there every day! I'll bet your friends feel the same way about their houses when they visit yours -- i.e. how fresh and new YOUR house looks in comparison to theirs. Relax and enjoy your house. If you didn't really like the decorating you've done, you wouldn't be asking this question on the forum -- you'd already be painting!

Brittany Dog Mom, I think our houses are in similar settings -- just different parts of the country. I live in a rustic setting with trees dripping in Spanish moss, and a river in the backyard. My DH tells me that he wants to be buried on the riverbank, whenever the time comes. I told him, "We can't do that." His reply: "But who will know! Just tell everyone I left one day and didn't come back." (smiles)

Yes, caminnc, I'm still here. I've been on vacation so that's why I haven't been on the forum recently. And you know well the traits associated with being a Gemini. I know you'll agree that it's difficult being me (us)! LOL

And, sbjordan, you're so right. We live in our homes everyday and we get accustomed to them. Whenever my friend Linda comes to visit, her husband will always comment, "I just love your living room!" But, to me, it's just ordinary.

And, Lady of Shallot, you understand me perfectly! I don't know about you but I always feel I have two persons living inside my body. One wants this and the other wants that. I think that's the reason I doubt my decorating decisions. What I want isn't necessarily what the "other twin" wants. LOL

Beantown2008, you're right about something better coming along. We operate a concession booth at the local auction house (on weekends) and I have missed so many wonderful things, and have "beat myself up" over it. But the auctioneer told me, "Don't worry, honey, something better will always come along" -- and it does.

My husband and I have had this discussion so many times in the last few months. I seriously have thought about changing my screen name on here to "remorsefullbuyer"

We are remodeling our entire house and cleaning out as we go. We are jumping from white walls/country/blue/ruffles to a darker, richer, HGTV motif. Anyway as we buy and add I am full of "I wish I would have" but after I look at the room for a few weeks and I remember why I bought the things, I realise I really do like them. All except the lamps I bought for the living room those I hate. I hated them last month, last week, and still hate them today...LOL

quote:

And, Lady of Shallot, you understand me perfectly! I don't know about you but I always feel I have two persons living inside my body. One wants this and the other wants that. I think that's the reason I doubt my decorating decisions. What I want isn't necessarily what the "other twin" wants. LOL

Ding, ding, ding...this is the answer I have been looking for. This is exactly why I am having so much trouble. I feel rooms instead of seeing them. Each time I pick something out I recall a time in my life that made me feel a certain way instead of seeing that item in "my" room. I will blame the ugly living room lamps on my "twin" though