We have some folks asking us to find them a condo to rent near us for a MONTH. I think they really want to stay HERE a whole month and I can't do a month. Don't really know them THAT well. Also, they are super high-energy, card players/game players, etc. and we aren't like that. Would you feel guilty not asking them to your house???
I am thinking of finding a rental specialist to help them...they don't 'do' computers so it may be difficult.
Any ideas??? I just don't have the strength or energy to feed/entertain people for a whole month! In fact, we eat out a lot and we like to just be free to 'go' whenever we like...
Are they coming just to see you or are you in a resort or vacation type area? I would refer them to a reputable vacation rental company. We all have lives and a month long stay from out of town guests is too much. As my father says "Thank you for coming and thank you for going!"
It is a vaca-type area, but I assume they want to spend a lotttttttt of time with us. I like your father's POV
Since they don't do or have a PC, obtain rental agency phone numbers and names in your area for them to contact. This way, they will have some idea and expert info thus lessening their stay. I can't imagine imposing on friends or family for an entire month! The only times I have stayed that long with family is due to their need for a babysitter, some family member recouping from surgery and in need if help or assisting with the painting prior to resale. To expect you to house and feed them that long is not only an expense to you, but added work and an invasion of your privacy. Just send them names, numbers and perhaps print outs and free rental booklets and stipulate just how long you can house them without disrupting your schedule. If they do stay over a week, they should treat you and your Dh to dinner out and/or buy some groceries. Hope they are not freeloaders.
I know you said they aren't computer people but we are in a tourist area and some people have second hones they rent out on a site called cyberrentals dot com. Maybe you can check it out, and as alternative give them the names of real estate companies in the area that also handle rentals. I would not feel guilty in the least in not hosting them for a month.
And don't feel guilty about NOT PLAYING THE ROLE of these agencies. That's another free-loader technique. Those people get paid.
Do not feel guilty about them wanting to stay with you!! That would be crazy! No one should even think of staying that long. I really do not like to stay in other folks' homes. I prefer the privacy of a hotel.
Expecting you to hang out with them is a stretch. Give them the names of rental agents and wish them well.
I wouldn't let them stay at my home for a month, unless I LOVED them a lot and we got along great together and had fun. If they have the money for a month long vacation, then they have the money for month long rental. No way don't do it, u said u barely even know them. Give them a number and let them do the talking. lol
Why do you think they are hinting to stay with you for a month when they simply asked you to help them find rental property?
I would definitely contact rental agencies and mail them the information or simply ask your friend if she wants you to give them her contact number.
Frankly, if I were an high energy person I would find it stifling to stay with a friend for an entire month. I have close friends who come "home" to visit. They never want to stay with me and I perfectly understand it. People prefer staying in their own accommodations so they can come and go as they like. I'm sure they will want to see you but not every day. I think you are being overly concerned.
Wow, CJO, you are in an uncomfortable spot! My advice is to never, ever let yourself be bamboozled into doing something you don't want to do. You don't want to host, so absolutely do not do it. Finding their apartment for them is also not really your problem. If they want to vacation for a month near you, THEY should get on the phone and fine themselves a rental. Sheesh!
I joke that guests can stay as long as one roll of toilet paper lasts in their bath.
But, just get info on rental agents and agencies and pass it along to them. Let them do their own legwork. If they are talking about this winter they may have started too late for anything good in their price range. You can always take them out to dinner or have them to your house for dinner. Just because you live in a vacation area doesn't mean being tourist guide to all who come. They are on vacation whereas you're working and life goes on. I've learned this the hard way after spending 7 yrs in Florida for 5 months each season. We do have an established life and routine down here.
I wouldn't even consider having guests stay that long. Even our family members know enough to keep their visits to a few days at most. Tell them you would love to meet for drinks or dinner (dutch treat of course) while they are in town. Otherwise, encourage them to locate their own housing. If you make suggestions and they are not happy with the accommodations, you will hear about it. "No good deed ever goes unpunished."
add me to the list, of short visits! as much as my love my dd, 3 kids, 2 dogs and 2 days is enough!
3 days and fish and guests stink.
Boy, there sure are some kind people on this thread!
There is no way in you-know-where that I would even entertain the thought of having them stay in my home for one ding-dong minute.
You said you don't even know them that well.
All I would do is give them the names and numbers of several condos and smilingly tell them to have a ball deciding which one to choose.
(make the list of condo names that you send them NOT ALL THAT CLOSE to you!)
Talk about nerve....
Besides giving them the phone numbers of rental agencies, I suggest you tell them to "let us know what month you'll be in the area so we can check our calendar and set up a COUPLE times when we can get together."
By saying this, you're letting them know you will not be available at their beck and call during the month they're in your area AND you've taken charge by setting the threshold of how often you'll agree to see them during that month (a COUPLE times).
As far as the time I can tolerate having guests staying with me, a few beloved family members are welcome for up to a week (by then, I'm even relieved when they're gone). I can tolerate others for maybe 2-3 days, tops. NO WAY would I allow a month long visit in my home by someone I don't know well and whose interests so greatly differ than my own. NO WAY.
I agree with all those who say you have no responsibility to act as a rental agent for these folks, let alone a hostess!
Not being computer literate is a limitation they have placed on themselves. It is not your responsibility to replace that source of information, connectivity for them.
Since you ask about guilt, my answer would be no. It might be difficult if say it was a sisters grandchild, but still no, I would not feel guilty.
I am on the same page with y'all. Just tell these folks to "have a good time" while they are in town. And, that's that.
This subject has bugged me since it was first asked. I seem to be the only person giving the acquaintance the benefit of the doubt and took her request at face value that she was NOT hinting for CJO to put her up but actually was seeking help to find a rental.
I posed the question to an acquaintance of mine who owns a condo on the coast in south Florida.
She said she gets requests all the time for people looking for a rental condo and has never thought that people were hinting for her to put them up for free housing.
Although I have known this woman for about 55 years, I consider her an acquaintance and not really a friend. I have been around her very seldom over that 55 years with maybe 20 years or so passing without seeing her once. I asked her if she were going to be in Florida while I am down here in the hopes that she would meet some of us from home for a little get together. She invited me to come down so I drove 5 hours down on one day, spent a whole day and left the 3rd day afternoon to return to where my husband was,
We had a BALL. She asked me to stay longer and said to stay as long as I wanted. However, despite really enjoying my time with her and my husband, after 1 whole day and 2 half days spent with her, I was ready to leave and follow my OWN schedule instead of someone else's. As much as I like her, I cannot imagine spending an entire month dictated by my hostess.
Bottom line dear friends, I think ALL of you missed the boat on this one and unless there is vital information missing, I think the woman who asked for help has been tried and convicted in error.
Just my 2 cents and that's what anyone's opinion is worth.::::::smile::::::
You may be absolutely right, LU. but the rest of us must have based our replies (I did) on CJO's interpretation of the request, since she is the one who received it.
In general though there are many, many variables in hosting situations. Age, finances, housing, health etc are just some of them. Many years ago a nephew was moving to my area and stayed with us till he found a place to live. He wasn't a "guest" exactly as he worked and did his own social thing. Now though I would find that same situation more difficult.
A friend of mine did the same thing with my DD when she relocated to suburban NYC. Usually our house guests stay 2 or 3 nights. MY DD and her family are welcome to stay as long as they like but so far that has never been more than 7 or 8 days.
If when my DGD graduates from Bowdoin this spring and she should decide to stay in Maine, she would be welcome to live with us as long as she likes.
My hesitation in offering hospitality would have less to do with lack of desire to do so (but our guests are almost always family) than with guests comfort as we have only 1 1/2 bath and that half less than perfect. And only 1 queen sized bed, 2 doubles, 3 singles.
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