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Iam kinda irked today.Here is why.
I got my nephew,fiancees bridal shower invite on Monday.They have been living together for 3 years.She is 21 and he just turned 30.She is a a country girl that goes hunting,4wheel riding,beautiful and spoiled girly girl too.Not complaining about that,that describes me too.LOL.She dont cook or do much house cleaning.She is a princess of sort.I did get an idea of their colors and likes.But they have been living together for years already.Thier home is already set up.I kinda feel like she is taking this as a chance to redecoate her/their home.

I looked at her registrys at Walmart,Target,ect.She has a SET of purple luggage(150.00),a camera(140.00),some very high ** items.Things that have took me and most here a long time to achieve in their marriages.Yes I wanted nice things too then.But I knew I was happy with whatever I got and could wait on things to buy when I could.We all know it can take a while to get to that place.Am I right?Is this going on in your areas with the young couples?Wanting everything & it has to be the best.

She does have some simplier itmes on the list.Candles,sheets,towels ect.I do have limit of 50.00-100.00.I am a senitmental person.I like to buy special gifts that fit them and will be a one of a kind gift.Like a piece of artwork,complete bed set,home decor.Something that they will have for a while.
My nephew is a good ole county boy and didnt have much growing up.MY Dsis had it real hard with 3kids then.He is diabetic and has a hard time with it.So I know he will appriciate whatever is given to them.She on the other hand....high maintence.
Any inputs,advice is welcome.I do not like to give gift cards or money.

I hear ya. Many of today's youth has an entitlement have-it-now attitude and we older generations just can't relate let alone support this mentality. That aside tho, I'd select something from their registry on the practical side. It will keep piece in the family as she is about to become a legitimate member of your extended family after all.

BTW, when it comes to a gift outside their registry, I doubt I'd ever attempt to select something so personal as a piece of art or even home decor. It's risky and just might end up in a closet only to be brought out when you visit. It could be a waste of money. That's just me tho.

If you still wish to purchase or give something "sentimental" do so at your own risk and make it something that accompanies a smaller registry item. BTW, CASH is always well received.

I never spend over $50( unless i go in on a gift with someone else)on a shower gift as I feel there's also the wedding gift to purchase as well, Unfortunately this woman isn't the only one with that attitude in today's world. They're just not willing to sacrifice and wait - and don't take this as a condemnation of all young people, but those willing to pay their dues seem to be in the minority.

jackie, I can't add much to Froo's sensible gift-giving advice.

You can count your blessings that your niece and nephew have not put Tiffany's or Neiman's on their registry list. I am holding my breath at what my darling Champagne-taste niece in NYC is going to add to her registry for her March 2013 wedding.

She and her DC-based fiance do not live together, so they will be setting up a household from scratch, which probably means requests for mondo-bucks gifts. Both have good-paying jobs and nice careers, thank goodness, and she is 29 and never-married and he's 34, so I hope they don't get too carried away, the way some newlyweds do.

As for a shower, I won't be going, because her girlfriends will be holding it in DC, too far away from where I live. So, no gift for the shower, just a nice one for the wedding.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: aychihuahua,

Ignore her registry and get something else, like monogrammed guest towels. I can't help but object to the whole idea of telling people what is acceptable as a gift--especially these days when couples are older and presumably have most of the stuff they need AND already live together!!!

Boy, in my day wedding gifts were like a toaster or elec. frying pan, forget about shower gifts!

I would select something from the list but make it on the modest side of cost. Esp if you still have to buy a wedding gift.

When I got married my co-workers went together and got us a set of towels (forget how many exactly) I used those towels at least 40 years!

I don't think it's fair to compare young people today to young people when I was young or even to a generation later when most of the members here were born. Of course they have a larger sense of entitlement but so did my Mom with a vacuum, elec washing machine etc. compared to my Dad's Mom who did not have an inside toilet till about 1910!

Don't be too hard on the bride. When people go in to register for their weddings the sales people encourage them to register for high priced items. Of course they want those sales! Many brides, especially the younger ones, just fall into that trap.

If I were you, jackierenette I would purchase a nice gift that is within your budget. The gift registries are supposed to be there to "help your guests know what you would like." You are under no obligation to use the list as your guide.

And I second Froo Froo's comment about money and gift cards being appreciated. I didn't ever think so until my own children got married and I saw how excited they were to get several gift cards for 25.00 each. Those cards (or cash) add up fast towards a higher priced item they might have their sights set on.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: cocok,

I thank everyone for your advice.I did go looking at some items and just got home.She does have towels,sheets,baking pans,pyrex dishes and doormat on the list.I saw her colors are brown & blue.I'll wait and ask my sis what she's getting.Plus my other 3 sisters,cousins,,his sister,my DDs and DM is getting them.

Yep Iam glad she did not go to the mall to the higher end stores.

I look at the registry as a guideline. This list shows you her preferred colors and general style (traditiona, modern, etc).At 21, she doesn't even know what she needs. Puchase whatever you like and can afford, and provide a gift voucher. Done!

Our neighbors got married several years ago, had been living together and both had been married before and I gave them a gift card for Lowes, they thanked us so many times as they needed some garden tools and a new garden hose and reel, these things you just don't put on a registry list.

If she has towels on her list maybe you could get monogrammed ones in the color that they have listed, like sms29s66 suggested.

Wanda

I like the idea of gift cards if you're just not sure or don't feel comfortable with buying what's on the wish list. I always try to get a gift receipt if I do buy a thing for someone, in case of duplicates or whatever.

I know what you mean! My future DIL has to have everything brand new, and expensive! And they have little **$. I dread the day she actually signs up for a registry. It will most likely be at an expensive store. I just don't get it! When I first got married I was grateful for each and every item I got. We were eating canned ravioli's for crying out loud!

I know you don't like gift cards or cash, but it seems the easiest way to go.

I like the idea of a wedding registry because I know I can choose a gift that they will like and will also fit into my budget.

Yes, the stores will encourage the couple to register for expensive items. And there are good reasons- perhaps there is a family member that wishes to give an expensive gift, or friends or co-workers planning to go in together and purchase a larger gift.

Also, having married off my 4 kids over the past few years, and a niece too, I know the groom to be will often get carried away when scanning items and scan expensive gifts just for fun.

So I wouldn't look to harshly on the bride about the expensive gifts being on the registry.

And it's hard to go wrong with a pretty set of monogrammed towels if yoy choose not to buy from the registry.

I've never heard of being obligated to give both a shower and wedding gift! Mine is given at the shower if invited, or brought to the wedding, but never both!